jbelle6 Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I only wish my ex would've said he didn't love me anymore. All he's ever said was that we fought a lot. He's been so confusing. Says he never fell out of love... Still to this day will say he loves and misses me but where is he?? In someone else's arms. Actions speak louder. He doesn't have to say he doesn't love me anymore. His breaking up with me and getting into a new RS proves it. Oh, that's hard, I'm sorry you are going through this. I think it's been a lot easier for me because he said he didn't know if he was in love with me (which we all know means he wasn't) so there wasn't much I could do but no contact really. 1
me85 Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Oh, that's hard, I'm sorry you are going through this. I think it's been a lot easier for me because he said he didn't know if he was in love with me (which we all know means he wasn't) so there wasn't much I could do but no contact really. Thank you so much! You are very very sweet and helpful on here. Love your posts! It's alright though, because guess what?? I've reached the stage of acceptance & it's absolutely freeing!!! 1
jbelle6 Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Thank you so much! You are very very sweet and helpful on here. Love your posts! It's alright though, because guess what?? I've reached the stage of acceptance & it's absolutely freeing!!! Thank you! I find posting here really helps me because it makes me take my own advice better if that makes any sense lol. Can't break no contact if I'm shouting no contact all day!!! Plus it's fun! You will get to the point where if he wanted you back you wouldn't want him anyways. I'm almost there, I hope I'm fully there soon. I think the more hope we have the longer it takes to get over it. I had a gut feeling mine wouldn't contact me so I truly had no hope. Strange how that makes it better. 2
todreaminblue Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I always believed in fighting for one you love but it didn't work out in my case. It actually back fired so it depends. Usually when other person wants to break up with you they have already prepared themselves mentally about living without you and they have made up their mind that they are right in their decision. So whatever you do or say doesn't change them. It's just depend from person to person. Some people might want to give you another chance but majority of people have made up their mind. In this situation whatever you do, you always come off needy, crazy ex. Letting go is best thing because if you two are meant to be together it will eventually happen regardless you have broken up. Letting go is best thing because if you two are meant to be together it will eventually happen regardless you have broken up. you have to have respect for the other person, that includes the person who dumped you for whatever reason...... normally the person who has been dumped is the one who want to fight, who is willing to give chances ........if it is the dumper who is wanting to now fight........then that is more likely going to work out in the long run.........the dumper is the one who gives the fight up in the first place....the dumpee hangs on with intermittent contact...eventually a dumped person will give up the fight when there is no other option but to do just that however sad it makes a fighter.....dumpees are often fighters who keep fighting .....normally a lack of communication helps this to occur no response from the person who let go......if then the dumper comes back which sometimes happens......i guess that dumper ought to learn fighting skills he didnt possess in the first place....that is when it might happen and if there is a meant to be together thing.......it will happen then...i often find when a dumpee moves on ....that is best for all involved....date another meet new people.....dont fight for what cant be known......until its shown..deb
me85 Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Thank you! I find posting here really helps me because it makes me take my own advice better if that makes any sense lol. Can't break no contact if I'm shouting no contact all day!!! Plus it's fun! You will get to the point where if he wanted you back you wouldn't want him anyways. I'm almost there, I hope I'm fully there soon. I think the more hope we have the longer it takes to get over it. I had a gut feeling mine wouldn't contact me so I truly had no hope. Strange how that makes it better. I totally get where you're coming from. LS helps me in the same way. I feel all tough on here lol You do hold yourself more accountable so that you aren't being hypocritical. Gota walk the walk! Cheese and rice I pray I never want him back. This guy has been my biggest weakness since I've started talking to him in the very beginning. This may be TMI (I'm sorry-I just have to come clean) but our chemistry was very very intense. VERY. Good news is, I don't really think about those intimate moments we shared anymore. (although, I just thought of one, damn!) lol
crazybestie101 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Haha I like your style. BUT... one becomes shameless when they are truly in love and are convinced they belong with someone. At some point, I'm sure everyone goes through a stage where their pride is no matter to them, just the hope in lying next to the "love of their life" again. I was willing to swallow my pride and disregard all consequences. How much one is willing to disregard, who knows. Everyone is different. Some would never make a fool of themselves. Some do. Big deal. I didn't keep doing it over and over and over lol. I pleaded a few times then got tired of being rejected and learned from it & now I've moved on. So trueee, been through done that! 1
crazybestie101 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Tell you what.. I had an ex "fighting for me".. He would not let me breath.. He showed up at work, he showed up at my house, messaged me, etc.. Horrible.. Now if you mean getting in great shape and let's say get a better job, etc.. I'd agree. If you mean bugging the crap out of them till they cave in, bad, bad idea. Oh your ex also showed up at your work ? lol Btw did you guys ever speak afterwords?
jbelle6 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Just seeing this now!!! I had a stalker ex driving by my house, calling, the whole bit. I'm a hairstylist and the bugger came in and asked for me for a haircut!!!!!!!!!!! I had to sit with him for a half hour lol. 1
crazybestie101 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Just seeing this now!!! I had a stalker ex driving by my house, calling, the whole bit. I'm a hairstylist and the bugger came in and asked for me for a haircut!!!!!!!!!!! I had to sit with him for a half hour lol. Must be awkward lol ..honestly , i don't know why i even did that like i don't know which world i was living in.. 1
jbelle6 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Must be awkward lol ..honestly , i don't know why i even did that like i don't know which world i was living in.. No way could you be anywhere close to this guy!!! lol. Whenever I get even a tiny thought of contacting ex I think of Rose on 2 1/2 men and I stop immediately! 2
me85 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Just seeing this now!!! I had a stalker ex driving by my house, calling, the whole bit. I'm a hairstylist and the bugger came in and asked for me for a haircut!!!!!!!!!!! I had to sit with him for a half hour lol. Oh man lol 1
stillfiguringitallou Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 If you really love her - the best way to show her is to just let her go If she really loves you - she'll miss you enough to make the effort to make it work that she didn't in the past. 3
H245 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I only wish my ex would've said he didn't love me anymore. All he's ever said was that we fought a lot. He's been so confusing. Says he never fell out of love... Still to this day will say he loves and misses me but where is he?? In someone else's arms. Actions speak louder. He doesn't have to say he doesn't love me anymore. His breaking up with me and getting into a new RS proves it. This is something that I have been struggling with since my ex left me two weeks ago. I asked her if it was a matter of no longer being IN love with me or if she lost of romantic feelings. She said that it was not the case. She told me that she could no longer live worrying about my insecurities about her, our relationship, and myself. That she could not give me the attention/validation I needed because she's not the type that can handle that type of relationship. The sad part is that those insecurities came from the things she did to me in our on/off relationship over the past year. I was willing to and did fight to the very end to make us work since we worked perfectly when there wasn't any drama going in her life. Sadly, she was not willing to do the same. Instead of fighting for me, for us, she instead chose to walk away every time we hit a crossroad. Makes me wonder if she really did love me or not considering the week prior to the BU she said she couldn't see her life without me and then she dumps me. 2
jphcbpa Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 i'm not fighting for someone that threw me away and thought they'd be better off without me in their life. I will move on, get fitter and healthier and find someone who adores me and can't imagine their life without me. omg i love this!!!!!!!!!!!!
jphcbpa Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 This is something that I have been struggling with since my ex left me two weeks ago. I asked her if it was a matter of no longer being IN love with me or if she lost of romantic feelings. She said that it was not the case. She told me that she could no longer live worrying about my insecurities about her, our relationship, and myself. That she could not give me the attention/validation I needed because she's not the type that can handle that type of relationship. The sad part is that those insecurities came from the things she did to me in our on/off relationship over the past year. I was willing to and did fight to the very end to make us work since we worked perfectly when there wasn't any drama going in her life. Sadly, she was not willing to do the same. Instead of fighting for me, for us, she instead chose to walk away every time we hit a crossroad. Makes me wonder if she really did love me or not considering the week prior to the BU she said she couldn't see her life without me and then she dumps me. I can relate to this. Have you read "He's Scared, She's Scared"?
me85 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 This is something that I have been struggling with since my ex left me two weeks ago. I asked her if it was a matter of no longer being IN love with me or if she lost of romantic feelings. She said that it was not the case. She told me that she could no longer live worrying about my insecurities about her, our relationship, and myself. That she could not give me the attention/validation I needed because she's not the type that can handle that type of relationship. The sad part is that those insecurities came from the things she did to me in our on/off relationship over the past year. I was willing to and did fight to the very end to make us work since we worked perfectly when there wasn't any drama going in her life. Sadly, she was not willing to do the same. Instead of fighting for me, for us, she instead chose to walk away every time we hit a crossroad. Makes me wonder if she really did love me or not considering the week prior to the BU she said she couldn't see her life without me and then she dumps me. I'm sorry you're going through this. I never was really given a reason and it was never a clean break. He just wanted to have his cake & eat it too. He always leaves it hanging. I am always the one "ending" it by saying "we don't need to communicate anymore" but HE ALWAYS CONTACTS ME. It is absolutely frustrating!!!!!! When I ask him if he wants me to move on he never answers. Well of course he doesn't. DIR. He doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me either. All I know for sure is he obviously isn't so happy with his new gf or he would not have been in contact with me the whole time they've been seeing each other. I finally got the nerve to tell him I needed to fully move on with my life and that he not respond. & he hasn't but only because he is on vacation and distracted right now but when he gets back home I'm certain he will contact me again. Oh & he always throws the ring in my face. "I still have your ring" UGH! The nerve!!!! Why???? You moved on!!! Shove that ring right up your @$$. Jerk.
H245 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I can relate to this. Have you read "He's Scared, She's Scared"? I haven't. Currently I have "Getting Past Your Breakup" which I haven't had the motivation to sit down and read yet as it might be too soon. But I will gladly pick this up as well. I read in another thread somewhere about the books "The Journey From Abandonment To Healing" and it's followup "The Journey From Heartbreak to Connection". I might get those as well
H245 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 He just wanted to have his cake & eat it too. Similar situation when I got back together with my ex back in February. She had told me she randomly slept with a guy 2 weeks after we broke up in January and was hanging out with her ex bf from years ago. When we decided to try again, she didn't want to tell her ex bf we were trying again until a month later and she wouldn't delete the other guy from FB either. When she finally did it was a sigh of relief. Sadly I am sure she is back to reaching out to the one ex she was hanging out with when we were apart. It's sad to think about it.
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