GF doesn't climax during sex, starting to affect the relationship

[DonDraper123]

My girlfriend and I have been together for over 2 months. In that time, we've had sex multiple times, but never once as she reached an orgasm. I'm her fourth total partner. She didn't never had her first orgasm until she discovered a specific type of friction with her second partner. She has to find that friction every time or nothing will happen. It's easier for her with clothes on than off.

 

She doesn't enjoy finger play or oral. She said she has tried different things, but cannot find that friction level with me. I know that she is committed to me and we have known each other for years. I'm afraid that we won't be able to fix this and what that will lead to.

 

What can I or we do to fix this?

[pteromom]

Keep trying different things.

 

It is unreasonable for her to expect to find the exact thing that worked with her ex, because people fit together differently. She needs to be open to trying NEW things to find what works with you.

 

Try adding a toy, your fingers, stimulation of other parts of her body, different positions, and keep going until you find things that work.

[DonDraper123]

She has never seen to respond to finger or oral play. And I've been with other women before and know where that spot is and how it works, but even she says that spot is either tough to find or non-existent.

 

I've tried many times and I think there might be a certain insecurity within her with guys down there. She said she's never even masterbated.

[CarrieT]

Ask her to masturbate in front of you and watch what she does and how she obtains that certain friction and learn her technique.

 

Some women find it far more difficult than others to reach orgasm but it shouldn't affect a relationship if you are both open and honest about it.

[DonDraper123]

She says she's never done that before and doesn't feel comfortable with it. I could ask her.

[mammasita]

She says she's never done that before and doesn't feel comfortable with it. I could ask her.

 

Then there's the problem. If she doesn't know how to get herself off, then it's usually going to be a bit more difficult....especially in situations like this....to figure things out.

[DonDraper123]

She does know, during sex with her previous two boyfriends. Just never by herself and so far not with me. She found that it worked through a specific friction with the one bf and then found that friction with the next one.

 

She just can't seem to find it with me and I'm afraid of a physical incompatibly.

[mammasita]

She does know, during sex with her previous two boyfriends. Just never by herself and so far not with me. She found that it worked through a specific friction with the one bf and then found that friction with the next one.

 

She just can't seem to find it with me and I'm afraid of a physical incompatibly.

 

I mean by pleasuring herself. When we know how to get ourselves off it's much easier to climax with a partner.

 

From what you say she's not comfortable masturbating and/or never has.

[FitChick]

Buy her an assortment of vibrators - different sizes and types and styles. Then have fun!

[readynow]

All through my 20years of having sex - including 9 of those years being married, I never orgasmed with a partner - until this year. My current partner never made it a thing or an issue so I was able to relax and enjoy it. My former partners always tried to 'fix' it so I kept having to fake it or they'd feel the relationship was in trouble or I didn't enjoy sex with them.

 

One thing you must not do is try to 'fix' it. She's not broken - she just needs to get to know her body. Don't make it an issue or ask her all the time about it. Just advise her to touch herself more. The first time by herself could take close to an hour sometimes.

 

Stop worrying about it and leave her to it.

[DonDraper123]

I'm not trying to say that it's something that's my responsibility to fix nor do I think it's hers. It's just something that I think is in the back of her mind and I don't want it to fester. When I asked her how much it was bother her on a scale of 1-10, she said it was a 5.

 

I think there is certain comfort level that she has issue within her own body that doesn't help. I'm just trying to help her with that because I think she is absolutely beautiful and it's important to me that she realizes how I see her.

 

Call me sappy, but I just want to make her as happy as she makes me

[acrosstheuniverse]

I think you're both already putting way too much pressure on her. I have NEVER orgasmed from intercourse with anybody, and I've slept with considerably more people than your gf has. I can't remember the figures but apparently only one in three women DO orgasm regularly from intercourse. Or one in three can't. Either way it's not far off half of all women.

 

It can take me months of being with a new guy to even be able to orgasm from other stuff with him. But it only ever happens when we've stopped caring, enjoyed the moment, stopped putting pressure on him figuring out what's gonna get me there. And even if I do show him what it's like when I masturbate, it's not always possible to replicate that for a guy. Perhaps she feels shy or inhibited around you, that may go away with time.

 

It's great that you care so much about her pleasure but you've only been sticking your dick in her for eight weeks, relax a little and as long as she's enjoying lovemaking and foreplay, just keep doing what you're doing, explore new things, but never make it about trying to get her there. Definitely encourage her to masturbate, though, if she isn't already!

[HeavenOrHell]

I think this should be in the sex forum

75% of women can't/don't orgasm via penetration.

I only cum via oral or finger play, it's a shame she doesn't enjoy those

 

Is it bothering her, or only bothers you?

Don't see it as a reflection on you, I sometimes can't orgasm, or I take ages, but it's nothing to do with my partner's skill, he couldn't do it any better for me.

 

I can enjoy sex without an orgasm, it's pleasurable enough without, sometimes I do want one though, it's just not essential for every woman like it is for every (or most) men.

 

Would a tiny clit vibe help, which she could use while you're inside her?

 

 

My girlfriend and I have been together for over 2 months. In that time, we've had sex multiple times, but never once as she reached an orgasm. I'm her fourth total partner. She didn't never had her first orgasm until she discovered a specific type of friction with her second partner. She has to find that friction every time or nothing will happen. It's easier for her with clothes on than off.

 

She doesn't enjoy finger play or oral. She said she has tried different things, but cannot find that friction level with me. I know that she is committed to me and we have known each other for years. I'm afraid that we won't be able to fix this and what that will lead to.

 

What can I or we do to fix this?

[HeavenOrHell]

I agree she needs to masturbate and learn how to cum via fingers.