Shygirl3591 Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I got a devorice about a year and a half ago, and recently went back to court over custody of my son. I think I'm attracted to my lawyer. He seems very nice and honest and I don't think he's married. Should I ask him out or am I just heartbroken and latching onto an available man?
Keenly Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Couldn't hurt. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Phoe Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I wouldn't recommend it. That is the kind of relationship that should remain strictly business. What if it goes sour, are you gonna be able to find another lawyer?
Mrin Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Three thoughts: 1. Is the case still ongoing? Is he still actively representing you? If so, NO. He's under an ethical obligation here in terms of his representation of you and in some cases, could face disciplinary by the state bar unless he handles it correctly. 2. If not, you need to recognize that there is a damsel in distress factor at work here. You needed help. He helped you. It is natural you could develop some feelings in this manner. It happens in many trusted positions - doctor/patient, attorney/client, counselor/patient. There was need, trust, reliance and support - but you have to realize that that was all bought and paid for as part of the professional relationship. That's not a substitute for a relationship or behavior in a relationship. Not saying it can't work - you just need to recognize that these factors are at play here especially because it sounds like you are new (brand new) to the dating scene. 3. Is this really how you want to start a relationship? There is a massive amount of unidirectional sharing and trust here. Due to his representation of you he probably knows a metric crapton about your finances, personal life, your ex, why you got divorced, your dirty laundry, your debts, your prior married life, parental life, everything. What do you know about him? You also have entrusted this man with a lot. But not only has he not shared anything about himself to this degree but has not relied or trusted you because that wasn't the nature of your business arrangement. Still not saying that it won't work but you have to recognize the disparity in trust and knowledge here. So I have seen this a few times. Not so much in family law/divorce proceedings but rather when a professional/client relationship turns romantic. Sometimes it can work. Sometimes not. The most common complaint i hear is "when he/she was my attorney/therapist/doctor he/she was so much different!". That's because they had their professional persona on and you weren't seeing the real person under it. Best of luck! Mrin
slizl Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I wouldn't recommend it. That is the kind of relationship that should remain strictly business. What if it goes sour, are you gonna be able to find another lawyer? But what if it goes really well? I see pro bono in your future
d0nnivain Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Most states have laws in place that strictly prohibit lawyers from dating their family law / divorce clients. It's a bad idea for any lawyer to date any client but vulnerable people fresh off a break up is particularly messy Do not ask your lawyer out if you value his legal services. If he has any eithics whatsoever, he will fire you as a client the minute you ask.
Mrin Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Most states have laws in place that strictly prohibit lawyers from dating their family law / divorce clients. It's a bad idea for any lawyer to date any client but vulnerable people fresh off a break up is particularly messy Do not ask your lawyer out if you value his legal services. If he has any eithics whatsoever, he will fire you as a client the minute you ask. quoted for truth
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