online date potential consider me a backup

[unagedtiger]

Please correct me if I'm wrong in seeing her treating me as a backup.

 

Met a lady online, talked on the phone. I asked about meeting up this weekend.

But told me she'll let me know soon if she can make it.

 

However, she is a student teacher and going to get busy as end-of-year at school approaches and planning a trip to Canada (to depart within a few weeks), says there's a lot to prepare..

 

The way I see it, no matter how busy the lady is, if she is really interested in a guy, she'll make time to see him.

 

Not making plans with me that far ahead, yet not completely rejecting, am I right?

 

I'm just planning on being completely silent and if I don't hear within a day, I'm just going to become unavailable all weekend.

 

Sounds good? Or am I being too difficult? but am I?

Edited May 28, 2014 by unagedtiger

[Mrin]

She might just be really busy or not a good planner. I'm kinda like that.

[firmness]

I have felt this way before. Your excitement gets riled up. Hormones pumping and blood boiling. All of that.

 

And s/he seems so casual about it.

 

That is almost always a bad sign. I can only think of a few things:

 

1. There is a real imbalance in your feelings vs his/hers.

2. S/he is establishing power/boundaries.

3. S/he has a really strong control over his/her emotions and does not relate the way you do.

4. There is something wrong with you.

 

That was not meant as an insult. People get crazy over this sort of stuff.

[jonsnuh]

Please correct me if I'm wrong in seeing her treating me as a backup.

 

Met a lady online, talked on the phone. I asked about meeting up this weekend.

But told me she'll let me know soon if she can make it.

 

However, she is a student teacher and going to get busy as end-of-year at school approaches and planning a trip to Canada (to depart within a few weeks), says there's a lot to prepare..

 

The way I see it, no matter how busy the lady is, if she is really interested in a guy, she'll make time to see him.

 

Not making plans with me that far ahead, yet not completely rejecting, am I right?

 

I'm just planning on being completely silent and if I don't hear within a day, I'm just going to become unavailable all weekend.

 

Sounds good? Or am I being too difficult? but am I?

 

You make it sound like there's nothing to do in Canada. Quite the contrary, so I can understand that she'd have to plan. Our beavers are very critical of how we're seen by our neighbours down south...

[DArtagnan2]

I would tend to agree that when someone really wants to see another, they will find a way, but my thoughts on this? She is busy and knows she is about to get real busy and dating is not on the front burner for her right at the moment, regardless.

 

For some, the intensity of a first date takes more energy to do, then for others. Sure, she signed up for the website, but maybe she was not ready to meet that quickly. Or she had been on the website for awhile and hasn't had much action from it.

 

If you are interested to see if it will go somewhere, just keep being who you are and time will weed out the facts if it will work or not. Tailor your expectations of one should be doing and accept what they are doing. It isn't or doesn't always mean its a negative thing.