Beebar Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I met a fantastic guy recently while on a business trip. We hit it off really well and have either talked, texted, or Skyped every day for the last two weeks. He was already thinking about moving to my city before we met and bought plane tickets to come visit a few days ago (he will be staying with a friend but has made it clear he wants to see me pretty frequently when he's in town). I have to go back to his city on a business trip later this year, and he is already making plans for things for us to do when I come back. We didn't sleep together or even kiss but he already seems to be really attached. Here are the three weird things: 1. He is 7 years older than me 2. He just got out of a 6 year relationship about 5 months ago 3. He is Eastern European (not born or raised in the United States), so I don't really know how to read in to his behavior Is this as weird as I think it is?
FitChick Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 The only red flag for me would be his getting out of a 6-year relationship so recently. Why weren't they married? Was she American? Any kids? Is he in the US legally? If he is highly educated and in a highly skilled profession he might be working here on a visa and would be leaving when his job ends.
Author Beebar Posted May 28, 2014 Author Posted May 28, 2014 No kids, and he is here legally through work. He told me the relationship should have ended sooner than it did, which I can understand because that was true of my last relationship too (lasted for 3 years). I think he is looking for someone to settle down and start a family with and she wasn't ready for that. All I know is that they broke up when she moved to a new city and started dating someone new almost immediately.
halfcrazed_i Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Not at all. Get to know him well... and enjoy dating him. See what kind of pace he's comfortable with (if his previous relationship unsettles you) and work with that. Don't do anything that you feel is too drastic or too fast. Eventually, when you get to know him a little bit more, maybe you can ask him about his background and former relationship. But be ready to answer the same questions too.
Author Beebar Posted May 28, 2014 Author Posted May 28, 2014 I guess I'm just not used to dealing with a guy who doesn't play games and can be honest about his feelings...which is sad but a reality for most of the guys my age. It's a little overwhelming to get this much attention, but I will just try to enjoy it for now and speak up when it is too much. Which I guess leads me to another question...what is a polite way to let someone know if they are laying their charm on a little too thick while still assuring that I am interested in him?
halfcrazed_i Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Hi Beebar -- I know what you mean. Sometimes we just go on auto-pilot sometimes and assume that guys are just out there to mess with our heads It's not a bad thing to be cautionary, but it's also important to give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, they're all different from each other. Tell him that you're uncomfortable with his excessive flattery or whatnot. And that you like him just the way he is -- then flash him the biggest smile that you could ever muster
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