Coolhndluke Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 [font=times new roman][/font][color=blue][/color] Ladies, any advice you can give would be much appreciated. A young woman I work with really seemed to be interested in me. She would come to my desk several times a day bringing me my print outs and some times cups of tea. We started going to lunch and dinner and started becoming close. A lot of the male co-workers started getting pretty jealous. Then we went to dinner at a sushi restaurant and had a great time. Everything seemed to be going great. One night when we were working late together we were talking and then we were about to kiss but I pulled back because their were other coworkers nearby. We had planned to go to the movies the Wednesday night before last but then she canceled at the last minute and said that she had a doctor's appointment. Then last Saturday we were also supposed to go out to a club. She had emailed me that she was really looking forward to going out with me. Well, Saturday came and she stood me up. I tried calling her to see if our plans had changed but got her voice mail. She never called me back all week end. On Monday she acted as nothing had happened and was smiling at me and seemed to still be in to me. I was a little upset and really blew her off. Finally on Tuesday I emailed her to find out what had happened and that I thought it was a little inconsiderate to stand me up and not call. It turns out she had a good reason as her car ws broken into and all of her personal stuff including her driver's license was stolen. Now she isn't talking to me hardly at all. She isn't sending me emails to ask how I am doing anymore. I really miss her friendship and our talks. I did send her an email saying that I would be there if she needs me. What should I do?
EIN Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Just drama at work. She's playing her fields. You stating you'll be there for her means she can come to you anytime she wants, in the meantime, you're not that important. You kinda revealed yourself you're attainable. Majority of women go after guys that are unattainable.
EIN Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 my take, start flirting with another co-worker in front of her but don't do it intentionally. It has to look like she walked in on you both. That will set her jealous mood off and she'll start talking to you again. If you don't take it serious, they'll fall head over heels for you.
emopunk Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Think EIN is right... She's surveying the field. Scouting the territory. You've revealed your position and she realizedthat you are too easy of a target... really not worth her attention at the moment. Thus she will overlook subtle moves on your part. So, at least for the moment, you have an element of surprise. You can try EIN's tactic, and you may find that it works. But feel free to develop your own tactics. Sorry for all the military references, but love is a battlefield. So glad my war ended.
Author Coolhndluke Posted February 11, 2005 Author Posted February 11, 2005 Thanks you guys. I think you are right because about when all of this started another young woman that just started working there came up to my desk and we went out to lunch for sushi as well. I figured that might be why she was acting this way. And yesterday she spotted me talking to another young lady who stopped by my desk that I am just friends with, but I wanted to make sure that she saw me talking to her as well. I definitely don't want to make it seem like I am too attainable or too easy of a target. I really appreciate your advice because there really aren't too many people I can trust at work.
EIN Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 There arent too many people you can trust at work? Advice: Don't trust anyone at work. The things you tell them will come back to you when you get on their bad terms. Keep gossips and personal life to yourself.
Hund1976 Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 I agree she's just messing with you, do you really believe the car breaking into thing? If you talked to her all the time don't you think she would have said that right away to you? Instead of waiting for you to ask her what was going on and then she says "oh yeah, my car got robbed" Flirt with some more girls at work, become the Mack Daddy of the office.
Author Coolhndluke Posted February 12, 2005 Author Posted February 12, 2005 You guys are right once again. I can not trust anyone at work. I work in sales and of the 50 co-workers there, the majority of them are guys. It is more like high school or a frat party than work sometimes. I will learn to keep my mouth shut. I actually do believe her car was broken into as she has been in contact with the police all week since her license and passport were stolen. I will become the new Mac Daddy instead of worrying over what she wants. I have to start focusing on what I want.
Feeling Lonely Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 What goes on behind closed doors though? Could she possibly be hiding something?
Hund1976 Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 Could she possibly be hiding something? Like a penis?!?!?
Author Coolhndluke Posted February 13, 2005 Author Posted February 13, 2005 Ha, a penis. Hopefuly not. Now that I look back the girl does have a lot going on. I recently found out that she just came out of a bad divorce that her husband was fighting her on. Also, with her passport stolen it is causing her major problems because she has only been in the country a few years and her paperwork to stay in this country ws stolen as well. She was also planning a trip to her home country to visit her mom and can't do that now either. On top of that - add in a bunch of jealous guys hitting on her at work and you got a pretty volital mix. i am jus going to take your guys advice and lay backand persue other young women. I could tell she was definitely interested so i she feels that way again she will no where to find me - 1 desk over.
Author Coolhndluke Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 Let me ask you guys something. There were at least 2 seperate occasions that I didn't kiss her when I could have - I froze up. Do you think maybe she thinks that I am not interested?
Hund1976 Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Its possible, but I wouldn't bet the farm on it. But if you do get to hang out with her again you should put the moves on her. Some girls might take it as a form of rejection if a guy hangs out with them and doesn't try to initiate any physical stuff.
Author Coolhndluke Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 O.K. Thanks Hundy, Yeah, I don't know what happenend. It is so unlike me. Normally I don't freeze up like this especially if a woman is acting like she wants me. It was kinda funny now that look back at it. We were talking for about an hour and our faces got really close - close enough that I could feel the warmth coming off of her smooth skin. Then she said that I smelled really good and asked me what cologne I was wearing. We were looking directly into each other's eyes and she moved forward towards me. Then I just froze. I tried to answer what type of cologne I was wearing and just kept saying that I didn't know over and over again. Man - I was acting like an amateur. Life happens, I guess.
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