avoforastig Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I met an interesting woman from an OLD site. I live near the center a huge metro area and she lives about 45 minutes away in the deep suburbs. I have never met anyone who lived that far away before. I am trying to figure out a good first date idea. However, I'm not familiar with the area where she lives or anything really in between, as I've only been in the area for about a year. I like first dates to be short and sweet, but it looks like it'll have to be on Friday night as its the only time our schedules mesh. I'm usually just do coffee or a drink. It could be a long drive if drinking is involved and coffee seems a bit boring for a Friday night. Dinner can be expensive, boring, and long if things go poorly. Would it be better to invite her to the city, offer to meet her halfway, or offer to make a longer commute closer to where she lives? Any suggestions?
mrs rubble Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I dated a guy approx 45mins away too for awhile, first meeting was at a Denny's halfway between us. The next dates, were all over the city, went to the hot pools, bushwalking and to the markets with him. The distance meant we always went somewhere cool together. Have fun.
Author avoforastig Posted May 28, 2014 Author Posted May 28, 2014 I dated a guy approx 45mins away too for awhile, first meeting was at a Denny's halfway between us. The next dates, were all over the city, went to the hot pools, bushwalking and to the markets with him. The distance meant we always went somewhere cool together. Have fun. There is a crime ridden residential area halfway between the two areas, followed by a suburban area with nowhere to meet really, so it looks like I either venture out or she venture in to the city. Do you think its better to invite her somewhere I am familiar with or head out her way?
halfcrazed_i Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 If you really like her, I would suggest that you go over where she is -- and then ask her to pick out a place that she likes. I always appreciate it when a guy allows me to pick somewhere I'm comfortable going (especially on a first date). At least she won't be out of her comfort zone, and she is more likely to be herself that night. On date 2 onwards, you can invite her to the city (for a longer daytime date, so the travel is worth it)... and then you can show her YOUR world. If she goes to the city the first time, it might be a bit overwhelming for her and may add to her 'nervousness.' Anyway, if the date doesn't work out, you can always use the excuse of "well, I have a long drive back so I should make a move..." right? 2
d0nnivain Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 45 minutes isn't even close to semi long distance. You have to travel a whopping 22.5 minutes. The internet is your friend. Determine the mid point. Find a restaurant or eatery in that town. Meet there
DArtagnan2 Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 being new to the area, isn't there anywhere you want to go? Or that is a "must see" on your list? Seeing as you feel that the distance is a bit far, why not plan a day date. Brunch, walking around her area or whatnot. I agree, use the internet to find something in her area to do. But yes, I would go to her area first so she feels comfortable. 2
Author avoforastig Posted May 28, 2014 Author Posted May 28, 2014 If you really like her, I would suggest that you go over where she is -- and then ask her to pick out a place that she likes. I always appreciate it when a guy allows me to pick somewhere I'm comfortable going (especially on a first date). At least she won't be out of her comfort zone, and she is more likely to be herself that night. On date 2 onwards, you can invite her to the city (for a longer daytime date, so the travel is worth it)... and then you can show her YOUR world. If she goes to the city the first time, it might be a bit overwhelming for her and may add to her 'nervousness.' Anyway, if the date doesn't work out, you can always use the excuse of "well, I have a long drive back so I should make a move..." right? I feel like women often want men to take the lead in terms of selecting locations for a date. Do you think she would be put off by asking her advice on the area?
Els Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I feel like women often want men to take the lead in terms of selecting locations for a date. Do you think she would be put off by asking her advice on the area? Can't tell you anything for certain about the woman you're dating, but I'd be fine with it. The guy driving to my area would be effort enough for me, I wouldn't expect him to know where to go in a place he doesn't live in.
Mrin Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 That's not long distance. Ok date idea: coffee/tea and then go to an art museum. If it goes well, grab a bite to eat afterwards.
d0nnivain Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I feel like women often want men to take the lead in terms of selecting locations for a date. Do you think she would be put off by asking her advice on the area? Not at all. Especially if you are new to the area, she will be happy you asked. Do some internet research so you have some idea what she's talking about. If your idea is to meet for coffee & she picks the most expensive restaurant, that could be a problem.
Author avoforastig Posted May 28, 2014 Author Posted May 28, 2014 Thanks for the tips. After speaking with her, it turns out she lives more like an hour away in an ideal traffic scenario, which never happens in this area. I found a restaurant/brewery halfway in between. It looks like a chain of sorts but venues usually aren't too much of an issue unless there is something extreme going on.
d0nnivain Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 The place sounds fine. Just nail down the details & meet her. I too live in an area where the time of day / traffic impacts everything too. Don't worry about it. Even if you are both traveling 45 minutes that still doesn't make it long distance in my book. After you get to know her a bit you can better determine if the geography is worth it.
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