EasyHeart Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I like women who show interest, but not women who pursue. If I'm interested in a woman, I'll pursue her. If I don't pursue her, it means I'm not interested. It's that simple. Women who pursue screw up the dynamic and make things complicated. I don't like complicated. 2
Keenly Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 apocalypse now redux marlon brando..." the horror"..:bunny: classic movie.......... i shouldnt have to chase a man if i do i doubt he is a man or just a boy who gets his mum to do things for him because he is too lazy to chase or get what he wants shows no assetriveness..which i need ina guy to have....authority......deb Don't you realize how hypocritical and lazy that is though? If women like a guy. Say something. You would so surprised how far a rock will roll downhill if you just give it that one small push of displaying interest.
Bruce Leigh Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 The most brazen approach i have experienced was in the high street of my nations capital. It was busy, many people brushing past each other and at the the time i thought we had innocently bumped into each other, walking in different directions. I said " sorry about that" and continued on my way. A couple of minutes later, i felt a tap on my shoulder and it was the girl i " bumped into". We chatted, she gave me her number and i called her the day after. She later told me that she seen me walking towards to her, bumped into me on purpose to see what would happen. I was 17. I don't like to cold approach women, i like to see if there are "signs" of interest. Most of the women who have approached me over the years have been the ones who have cold approached. Go figure
todreaminblue Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 Don't you realize how hypocritical and lazy that is though? If women like a guy. Say something. You would so surprised how far a rock will roll downhill if you just give it that one small push of displaying interest. saying something isnt pursuing.....its simply asking..and i am tired of guys whop think asking is chasing........so no i dont believe i was being a hypocrite or lazy fro if i like a guy i move quickly.....i say something....if i want to chase someone i chase my teen girls around on face book and the guys that chase them ...yeah im on it to intercept.....a guy to go out with me...if he isnt interested in me when i ask i am not asking a second time...its done...i did my bit any more and i feel like the man.......deb 1
normal person Posted June 30, 2014 Posted June 30, 2014 I think the men chase/women get chased dynamic is fine. In my book the best thing a girl can do is stick to the subtle hints and hints and make herself available. If she's too aggressive I think: 1). What might be wrong with her and why isn't she satisfied with the other guys who I'm sure are pursuing her relentlessly 2). If she makes it this easy it can actually be kind of uninteresting and boring. No "thrill of the chase." Having something handed to you isn't quite as satisfying as putting in the work and earning it through diligence, y'know? 1
iiiii Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 If she's too aggressive I think: 1). What might be wrong with her and why isn't she satisfied with the other guys who I'm sure are pursuing her relentlessly I've heard this type of sentiment from other guys. Some guys will think there's something wrong with a girl if she "has to" chase a guy to get one. That type of attitude is part of what puts women off pursuing guys. We worry that if we pursue a guy, he will think there's something wrong with us, or he won't value us as much. Unfortunate, really. 1
FitnessRN Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I've heard this type of sentiment from other guys. Some guys will think there's something wrong with a girl if she "has to" chase a guy to get one. That type of attitude is part of what puts women off pursuing guys. We worry that if we pursue a guy, he will think there's something wrong with us, or he won't value us as much. Unfortunate, really. I prefer a girl who is decisive, high self-esteem, and direct..no games, keeps it real, and doesn't mind pursuing somewhat keeping it 50/50 and also planning. 1
salparadise Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 That type of attitude is part of what puts women off pursuing guys. We worry that if we pursue a guy, he will think there's something wrong with us, or he won't value us as much. Unfortunate, really. I think it depends on how skillful she is. I like it to be a dance where both do their share of the pursuing. I do not like it when a woman feigns disinterest while at the same time tries to get me to pursue her. If she creates the impression that she's not desperate but is particularly interested in me (as opposed to just any guy) then it's great. But if it seems like she might be pursuing others at the same time or that just any reasonably decent guy will do, then it won't feel right. And of course, if I am not interested and she is relentless it wears thin pretty fast. But either way, she needs to make it clear that she's interested, and that interest should be for me in particular. Most self-assured women know how to do this without coming off as desperate. 3
FitnessRN Posted July 1, 2014 Posted July 1, 2014 I've noticed a few times girl gets real close in your personal space while you are talking and in the intimate zone. That's a little too much for me when you just met in person (example of mine is a classmate) have a conversation and they are in the intimate zone. I have to turn my head and talk I'm in pure guarded mode....that's too aggressive (she ended up being crazy)
marcjb Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Do any relationships turn out great, successful in which the woman was the initiator, approached the guy first? This is something I'm interested in as well. I don't think it's necessarily related to women initiating men, or vice versa, but do I think that it's a double edged sword. It feels like the person that is the initiator has less power because they are at the mercy of the other person's reaction. They are able to say to themselves "well, the initiator is the one that came to me". Yet, it also seems like further in the relationship after that person falls for the initiator, the initiator actually has the power once the other person falls for them. 1
Charlie Harper Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Yes ...... especially if it's Halle Berry. Halle Berry is a certified NUT case… Yes, I like it when a woman is clear about her interest in me. I'm not into anyone playing games with me because I don't play games with anyone. Yep women who like to lead and then be chased are a bummer..no games here.. I have been chased all my life, in fact (I have posted this before) I have never kissed a woman for the first time, they always initiate, afterwards its different but I am very passive because quite frankly I have never needed to pursue or make a first move. I like strong women and very open, so you can guess a woman who chases men is exactly this kind, so for me its great, in fact some of my female friends tell me I am the kind of guy who comes as non threatening, and knows how to listen, so I guess you need certain kind of women to be approached and you need to give a good vibe to be approached. One thing I hate is when they are too intense, and began telling you BS compliments, and you take your time and then they don't call back, because they wanted a quickie or ONS. LOL I feel like one of those women who says all men are sex starved cavemen LOL… YEP I like to be pursued and flirted... 1
normal person Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 I've heard this type of sentiment from other guys. Some guys will think there's something wrong with a girl if she "has to" chase a guy to get one. That type of attitude is part of what puts women off pursuing guys. We worry that if we pursue a guy, he will think there's something wrong with us, or he won't value us as much. Unfortunate, really. I'm well aware. I feel like the whole process is just like an elaborate mating dance and I hate to say it, but it's not much "fun" if a girl wants to just bypass it all so easily. However if she does it in a more nuanced way it can be really affective. Is it really that unique to just one gender? Think about this: Maybe I'm crazy here, but I think there is a varying degree of attractiveness, regardless of gender, in the following people: 1). People you find attractive who aren't (yet) concerned with you 2). People you find attractive who merely do something to get you to notice them 3). People you find attractive who make it very easy for you 4). People you find attractive who throw themselves at you I really think there's a psychological component at play when you consider people like this. Hypothetically if #1 and #4 are the same person, #1 is more attractive from a mental perspective. You think that person is well adjusted and perfectly desirable in their own right; they're completely content with all the attention they're getting already (social proof) so what do they need to try and get more for? #4 is so desperate (you can't help but wonder why) he/she has to practically beg you. That's not attractive at all. #2 is fine for me. She can make me notice her and then we can do the little mating dance. It's fun and sexy. But if she thinks she can forego it she'd better have a lot of charm, humor, etc. In my book, at least.
gaius Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 It's a double edged sword. It's always flattering on some level that someone likes you enough to give you that kind of attention, but then you're stuck trying to figure out how to rebuff someone who's been nothing but nice to you. Which can be difficult and make you feel guilty. At the end of the day if a guy really wants you he'll chase you. =/ 1
Smilecharmer Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 It's a double edged sword. It's always flattering on some level that someone likes you enough to give you that kind of attention, but then you're stuck trying to figure out how to rebuff someone who's been nothing but nice to you. Which can be difficult and make you feel guilty. At the end of the day if a guy really wants you he'll chase you. =/ Then the guy is in the awkward spot of friend zoning if he doesn't like her.
Harradin Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I like being pursued, its nice to not make the effort sometimes! Even if I'm not interested in her, its nice to know that someone wants me out there.
Sunfire73 Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I didn't pursue, but made the first move. He's my boyfriend now, so it worked.
somedude81 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 A woman doesn't have to pursue, but they should be dropping heavy hints that they are interested. As long as a girl is cute and fun, I have no problem going on a date with her. So ladies if you like a guy, try to find some way to let him know.
Haydn Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I have been pursued countless times. Successfully on some occasions. Its wonderful. Not unless she's a 10 and I'm talking like 10 going into 11! I learned the hard way. DO. NOT. PURSUE. MEN!! Men are natural hunters. If they're really into a girl, they will go for her first (do the initiating) immediately or they will come around on their own time. I chased a guy a few years ago and it bit me in the butt! : (
Lipitor11 Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I don't think guys do. I use to pursue guys when I was 14-16, and the majority of the time, friends from school, family members would tell me that it looks ugly and desperate for a girl to chase after a guy, it just isn't appealing. Since, then I don't really look at guys anymore, if they want to make the first move, that's their job, I just have to sit back. But I'm not going to chase after him asking for a date.
somedude81 Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 IMO, the main problem with women pursuing guys, is that these women are most likely pursuing guys that lots of other girls also like. So in essence it's not really pursing a guy, but competing with a bunch of other women. Find a guy that isn't getting swamped with feminine attention and he just might say yes.
Keenly Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Not unless she's a 10 and I'm talking like 10 going into 11! I learned the hard way. DO. NOT. PURSUE. MEN!! Men are natural hunters. If they're really into a girl, they will go for her first (do the initiating) immediately or they will come around on their own time. I chased a guy a few years ago and it bit me in the butt! : ( You are painting with far too broad of a brush. I am not anything like you describe, and I find women hitting on me to be flattering.
Keenly Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I don't think guys do. I use to pursue guys when I was 14-16, and the majority of the time, friends from school, family members would tell me that it looks ugly and desperate for a girl to chase after a guy, it just isn't appealing. Since, then I don't really look at guys anymore, if they want to make the first move, that's their job, I just have to sit back. But I'm not going to chase after him asking for a date. Alright well, whatever justifies you being lazy/afriad and not going after what you want.
Trane Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 If a woman is interested in me, there's nothing wrong with showing interest in the form of polite pursuance. I usually make the first move on a lady that I find attractive with the hope that she accepts my advances. If a woman is true to herself and true to form, it's ok for her to pursue any man as long as she's not invasive or disrespectful. Doesn't make her a slut either.
anemptycup Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 YES. for sure... we love it - well, i love it... shows confidence... and a lot of guys are VERY shy and afraid of being rejected - even if they like someone... I frikkin love it when girls are confident enough to at least be friendly and show some signs... like.. smile at someone they like.... what's the worst than can happen?!?!
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