Started dating someone whom I'm not sure about yet, slept with my ex, need advic

[Cam116]

Hey guys! background: I got out of a 5 year relationship a year and a half ago. Just got back on the dating scene last year for the first time in a long time, as I had never really dated much prior to meeting that boyfriend. I found myself in a relationship with a new guy last August. That "ended" earlier this year, and we wound up becoming FWB for a while. I decided to start dating again a few months ago. Went on dates with a handful of guys, but none really sparked my interest.

 

So now, I just met someone about 2-3 weeks ago who I was very interested in after the first few dates. However, as we've gone on a few more dates, I started getting the feeling that he may have a drinking problem. I am in position where I am somewhat interested, but his drinking has turned me off in terms of "do I really want to have a future with a guy that drinks the way he does". I'm hesitant to throw in the towel just yet, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but something in my gut is telling me to cut him loose before our dating progresses anymore.

 

Here's where it gets messy. I have not slept with this new guy, but we have fooled around once when we were BOTH a bit drunk (I wish we hadn't, but I can't go back in time). So after that experience last week was when I really started having some doubts. I hadn't spoken to the ex I dated from August in about a month because I was trying to leave him behind and move on. But now that doubts have set in with new guy, I caved and started talking to the ex. Well I ended up sleeping with him last night. I've had people tell me that it's not a big deal, since me and "new guy" are not exclusive/may never become exclusive. But I feel guilty about it! I don't know where to draw the lines of dating, but need some advice. Since me and the new guy are not exclusive, is it really bad of me to have slept with the ex? I honestly don't know if I want to progress things with new guy, and will most likely make a decision before the end of the week whether to continue. But I feel like I cheated...even though we hadn't talked of exclusivity. I appreciate advice and insight (please be gentle)

[giblesp]

You don't like your ex (that's why he's your ex) and you don't like the new guy (which is why you slept with your ex).

 

Hope that clears it up for you.

[Assasda]

Deep down you dont want to be with the new guy. I know this for sure.

So... Try to let him go easy

[Mrin]

Don't feel like you cheated because you didn't. May have made a poor decision hitting the reset button with your ex. But ya, you didn't cheat IMHO. Also sounds like NewGuy doesn't do it for you either. Just cut him loose, decide what you want to do with ex and move on.