dragonwalker Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) Hi, New to the forums and will probably post about other issues but for now I'm looking for some feedback and advice about an approach I'm planning to use to ask a girl out on a date.She works at a bank where I go monthly to make my rent deposit. I don't have any accounts at this bank fyi. I've seen this girl who works as a teller and front door greeter/customer service rep on and off for the past 6 months. Last time I went in and she happened to help me and we chit chatted. It was casual and nice. What I liked was the good vibes I was getting and the fact that she was asking me questions which is always a sign at least of some general interest. Anyway I left and I made up my mind that I would take a chance to ask her out to something casual like coffee. Although I'm 26 I'm very inexperienced at this and normally would never approach but some changes in my life recently have emboldened me and I'd like this to go off as smoothly as possibly even if I am rejected. What I'm thinking of doing is going this month in a few days to make my regular deposit and either waiting for her to help me or go to her. I'll do everything as usual and see if the good vibes are still there. I'm thinking of either asking casually if she is going to be working the whole day. Then I'll call the branch later to ask to speak to her. I plan to ask her over the phone if she would like to go out. It just so happens that I work at another bank and I use to work as a teller and some of the girls got hit on at the teller window. It always seemed to turn into a joke when they did it at the window because they were always rejected. I mean it makes sense because I feel it's a bit to public for her and perhaps to surprising and I think the safe thing for the girl to do is say no. For these reasons I prefer not to do it in person while I make my deposit but perhaps ask if she will be there the rest of the day to drop a hint of what I might do. It appears like she isn't married and I have no idea if she has a boyfriend but I figure if she is not interested she will throw out that line or say she really does. I'm thinking of asking her out to coffee. Do you think this is the optimal way to go about it? Or do any of you have a better idea? Thanks a lot. Edited May 27, 2014 by dragonwalker Text editing
d0nnivain Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 As long as you understand that there is more likelihood that you will get turned down. You really don't know if she has a BF or is even into guys. She gets paid to be nice to you.
jbelle6 Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I don't know about calling her, I hate making personal calls to people at their place of work. Just feels intrusive. Do you have a business card that you could give her while you ask her out face to face quickly? If it's a joke and they laugh, who cares? 1
Assasda Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 You should absolutely do it man. I wouldnt bother with the calling thing though, it seems sketchy and a little cowaardly. Just ask her if she'd like to hang out when she gets off. Or tell her that you see her here all the time, and ask her what she does on her off time. -- Then ask for her number. *Get a pen and a piece of paper and put it through the window, and tell her to put her number down
Author dragonwalker Posted May 28, 2014 Author Posted May 28, 2014 Alright, thanks for the replies. It sounds like the consensus is that I should just man up and ask her out in person when I see her. I can do that. What I'm thinking of doing is just start by doing my transaction and then I'll make some small chit chat. Toward the end of the transaction I'll just casually mention that it was nice to talk to her and that I'd like to continue our conversation outside of her work. I'll wait to see how she reacts and then if it is positive, I'll give her my card and I'll go from there. 2
halfcrazed_i Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I like the idea of you giving her your card. That way, if she has a bf indeed, then at least she can tell you privately (or if you don't hear back from her, well, you can take the hint). I just hope you won't mind still doing your monthly deposits there in case the situation goes south... But hey, happy thoughts! I hope it works out for you Keep us posted! 2
Xenon2 Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I'm have an aggressive dominant personality in dating, in situations like this, it's NEVER failed. I used this line numerous times, and it has worked literally EVERY time in a number of different settlings. This has successfully worked for me on bartenders that get hit on ALL DAY (imo getting a smoking hot bartender to on a date with you is prob the hardest because they basically get sexually harassed all day long). Whenever there's a hot woman behind a counter in a commercial/business setting, I chat her up, smile, look at her eyes and mouth while i talk and make her laugh 3-5x. if you can get her to look @ you for 5 min and laugh a few times...say this....: "Hey, I like talking to you here, but we should get better without this counter/window/bar/desk in between us, let me take you out to dinner this saturday I want to get to know you better." Make eye contact. Like 75% eye contact, 15% looking here mouth and the other 10% dancing in between. Seriously though, imo the eye contact this is important. I have had so many women tell me they LOVE it. Seriously, if this doesn't work for you, i will be shocked. also never shared this tech with anymore before. but seriously bro, I'm battling 1.000 with it. Don't try it unless you can get her to like you a little first though. If you just walk up to her teller booth and drop that line, you will not be pleased with the results. 1
jonsnuh Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 I don't know about calling her, I hate making personal calls to people at their place of work. Just feels intrusive. Do you have a business card that you could give her while you ask her out face to face quickly? If it's a joke and they laugh, who cares? This works when I'm interested with someone I meet around work, who's not a client. Does double duty in expanding your professional network if it turns out she's not looking. 1
jbelle6 Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 This works when I'm interested with someone I meet around work, who's not a client. Does double duty in expanding your professional network if it turns out she's not looking. Agree, and I know if a guy just was pleasant and chatted with me and handed me his card and said if I was interested in getting a coffee or a drink to let him know, I would be more open to it than if he called me at work.
Author dragonwalker Posted May 30, 2014 Author Posted May 30, 2014 Ok, so I went in today and looked for the girl I like. She wasn't there so I ended up asking 2 people if she would be in later today or tomorrow. Turns out she would be in later that day. I came in later that day and she was at the front desk this time. I asked her some random question about my check deposit and then I said something to the effect of it was nice to have talked to her last time and I was wondering if we could go out for some coffee sometime. Although I think I was a little bit more nervous than I liked and I wanted to be a bit more confident about it... Anyway she replied "I am kind of seeing someone now." I took it in stride and offered my business card regardless since it is useful in our line of work to have a contact at another bank and I wrote my number on the back. I did my transaction at the teller window and I said bye to her on my way out. Felt bummed after I left and feeling I was more rejected by her since she qualified her statement by saying she kind of is seeing someone. To me it sounded like she was just making an excuse to say no, I wish she just said no. Oh well.
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Good for you for trying. It sounds like you handled it well. Women don't always just give a straight no. Explaining -- through I have a BF -- seems kinder somehow.
DArtagnan2 Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 While she may or may not be kind dating someone, you made the effort and now she knows you are interested. So if he really is kind of dating someone, if it was to end, she may have a 2nd thought. So make sure to not change how you and she interact and don't avoid her or think , she just shot me an excuse. You don't know for sure and you don't want her to see you as any different then she has in the past. Keep it light, be nice and you never know.
Strength in Healing Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Good God, do NOT do it over the phone. Here is how it breaks down. Women care about their reputation. Open by asking her a bank related question with an elevated tone of voice. Then when she answers your question, more quietly tell her you didn't want to embarrass her by asking this out loud at work, but you think she's cute and would like to get together, then ask for her number. Always worked for me. A lot.
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