WiselyNaive Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 i dated a guy & when the relationship ended & his true colours came out he treated me horribly i found out he was cheating the entire time and he did unforgivable humiliating things borderline abusive. I immediately went NC...when someone hurts you that deep & there is no sign of a reconnect I find its much easier to go NC...though the pain was intense there was no false hope so although i had bad days i never had urges to contact him or days i had to be talked off the ledge. my heart wanted this guy back cause we had bonded but my pride, ego & brain would never let that happen even when i missed him my mind had an automatic response kick in reminding me how horrible he was & i was immediately disgusted (gotta love my brains aversion treatment) I am now on day 45 of NC...yesterday was a really bad one...one of the worsts..which is why im here...i thought about him all day...& all night & listened to sad songs...but on a greater scale i have progressed alot..i stopped counting after 30 days (i counted today so i'd know what to write) I told him never to contact me again & he never has. i think im thinking about him a lot again because a few days ago I had a job interview & there was a document i needed that i'm pretty sure I lost at his house...a large part of me always thought it was there but after the break up i never wanted to speak to him again so i cut loses i left a few things there he also owed me 40 bucks but i just let it go but in the wake of the interview i remembered how important the document was..i couldnt stomach contacting him...& him even slightly thinking it was for reconciliation reasons but it was important so i had a family member send a message to him online...i told them make it short & sweet & don't attack him & make sure you dont accuse him so that if he did find the document he may actually WANT to return it (to how he treated me in the end i wouldnt have been surprised if he actually stole the document because it was an ID & two credit cards that went missing) but it was worth a try...of course she didnt listen and she sent a LONG message to him & she added in stuff about how horrible he treated me & karma & & flat out accused him of stealing it & then went to talk about the document.. he responded short & simply by saying he cant believe we think he's a scammer & that he didnt take it and "please tell Sarah(lets pretend my name is sarah) im sorry for how things played out" but then he added "we have different ideas about karma btw" she answered but ignored the message he aimed at me then quickly blocked him. if that isnt the breadcrumb of all breadcrumbs idk what is....& I wish she never told me he said that...not only is it not a breadcrumb he sent directly its an offshoot of a message that came from my camp whether or not it was directly from me...he would never message me because i told him if he did i would tell the girl he cheated on me with because she and I spoke before...& i know the sorry means nothing but i cant help but wonder if he actually regrets what he did to me...maybe he's scared to contact me because i told him not to...& then i tell my self how silly I sound because if a guy wants something he goes after it & even if he did want me back i could never return to a guy that treated me like that...but i've been having those circular thoughts ever since. i guess he said it because he felt guilty...she did lay it on him pretty thick...but it wasn't genuine & that just made it even worst...then she told me she blocked him right after so he couldn't say anything else to "stop my recovery" which i suppose was the right way... i guess i just need some words of encouragement & some reasons why i shouldn't dwell on his half assed sorry message
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