curiousnycgirl Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 What to do, oh what to do??? Been dating my b/f for 8 months now things have been up and down throughout, but thankfully we've been able to work through most of it. So here's the dilemma - I have pretty much opened my life to this guy - he's come to my family for holidays, joined me at my charity functions, etc. But its not reciprocated. Now granted he does not have as many opportunities to reciprocate - he only moved here a year ago and his nuclear family is sadly departed. However he spent two weeks at Christmas time with his best friends, and I was not invited. This issue was discussed - in fact he originally planned to be there Thanksgiving and Christmas - but due to my displeasure spent Thanksgiving with me/my family. Actually the discussion was more about the fact that he makes plans without discussing - which leads us to our current issue. I was invited to a party for a friend of mine scheduled for the last weekend of the month, so of course I checked with the b/f to see if he/we were going. His response was that he will be in Baltimore at his cousin's wedding that weekend. I guess if I had more guts I would flat out ask him what's going on - but I am simply not that confrontational. What would you folks do?
CurvyGurl Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 At 8 months my DBF and I would be joined at the hip. He doesn't seem ready to share his life with you. Were it me I'd back off, take a break. He seems to be there for convience sake.
cyberbabie30 Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 Hi, I was in a similar situation. Of course i ended the relationship with mine for several reasons. Back off a little start doing things on your own and with your friends. If an event comes up tell him you were invited and if he wants to go he is welcome. Leave the decision up to him. Dont put any pressure on him to go. Be less available to him. If he cares he may start to wonder why your not around as often as before and may become scared of losing you. He may even bring up the subject which is the best way for you to get your point across to him as to what is bothering you. As far as his cousins wedding ask your self why he didnt ask you to go along. And when did he receive his invitation was it during the time you two are dating. Keep your eyes and ears open and watch for red flags. My ex would cancel at last min to a party or bbq with me I never met any of his friends and family. He didnt spend christmas with me or thanksgiving and when valentine came last year i didnt even get a card we did spend the night together. And he tried to control how often we would see each other. Well it turns out that he just wasnt that into me. I also found out that while we were dating he was meeting women from dating sites and spending time with an ex. lying to me, And this is a man who asked me to be exclusive with him. And even though i still hear from him from time to time through email why i have no clue because i know he dosent want to get back together with me. I can see that he hasnt changed. He is still doing the dating sites while he is hanging with his ex. If you bring the subject up you will most likely push him away. Also show him you have a life of your own. Im just sorry it stayed with mine as long as i did, almost a year.
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