Foolish Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 My boyfriend, of two years, and I broke up a little over a week ago. I have moved interstate to be with my family because I'm only 18 and couldnt handle being alone. I'm so completely still in love with him but I have this feeling, deep down, that the break was for the best because he had fallen out of love with me because we were in a rut and I was completely emotional dependant on him. I'm in the is first stages of no contact at the moment and it's so hard. I miss him so much We are still best friends. Straight after the break up we still talked everyday, because we are best friends but it was too hard so I have told him to stop calling and stuff. He told me when we broke up that he still loved me and will always love me and wasn't in love with me anymore and that it felt different. When I asked him to give it another try, he said he couldnt see it being any different in a month's time. I know he still loves me and cares about me because he was still contacting me afterwards and after I moved interstate. I just don't know whether to move on or to have no contact for a while, and then pursue him again. please help...
Guest Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 I think what you and In my case the same...need to realize that even if they say they don't see getting back together again...people have the right to change their minds...and that may happen...I've been on 20 days No contact from my ex...and It has gotten like a cm easier...but let me tell you its still a struggle but atleast you know...that you were love and it wasn't just lust....good luck
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 11, 2005 Posted February 11, 2005 I think you know in your heart what "love, but not 'in love'" means: it means that he likes you as a person, he cares for you, and likes talking to you - but he no longer wants to be in a relationship with you. Once a person falls 'out of love' it generally is not a reverse-able process. So, how to deal with that: First - put your heart back together: no contact. Make it for 30 days. A month. Let your guy know that you need time to think and get your heart together. Let him know - no contact, no phone, no writing, no email, no texts... nada. Don't go into it with any expectations at all about what's going to happen as a result of it. No contact isn't a trick or a method for anything. Its just a time for you to have some unbiased, uninterrupted time to get your head and heart straight. After a period of 'no contact', you'll know in your heart what best to do next. Just do it, and if you have to - keep a journal. For every day of 'no contact', write a page about what's going through your mind. Write EVERYTHING you feel about it - the good, the bad, the sad - stuff that makes you cry, stuff that pisses you off. I think you'll find that what you are writing at day one will be markedly different than what you are writing at day thirty. On day thirty, re-read your journal and decide then what it is you need to do.
Author Foolish Posted February 12, 2005 Author Posted February 12, 2005 yes, I am currently on day 3 of no contact. I'm finding actually easier than I thought. I've been keeping myself real busy. I just hope, more than anything, that I will be able to salvage my friendship with him out of this. Because we are best friends and I'd hate to lose him altogether. I love him and we were going through a stressful time when we broke up and we were in a major rut and we were like an old marriage couple and YES, the spark was totally gone... so i'm hoping one day down the track maybe we can try again when we are older, maturer and have our lives sorted. But, for now, I think I am going to be ok.
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