loulopi Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 i know lashing out against is your ex but when you get hurt why is one of the first things you want to do is lash out at your ex an hurt them? why? does it somehoe make yourself think your better?
jbelle6 Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 No, I don't lash out at my exes or be mean because they want to break up with me. But I'm a grown up. One irritated me to get a response before but I just block them and ignore if they do it to me. Life really isn't that hard if you are logical. 1
Ordinaryday Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 i know lashing out against is your ex but when you get hurt why is one of the first things you want to do is lash out at your ex an hurt them? why? does it somehoe make yourself think your better? because they hurt you so some people may want to hurt them back, to 'even' the score as it were. I am not saying this is right or justified, but I thought it was fairly obvious why people did it. and some people may like to wipe that smug look off the dumpers face, when they say condescending things like "I hope one day we can still be friends! I have no doubt that one day you will find the right girl in the world and she will love you and you will be so happy and I will be right there cheering you along... as a friend!"
David87 Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 anyone???? If you do that you embarrass yourself, it's a bad idea in general, I never did it because i don't feel the need to spit where I used to kiss
jt27 Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I sometimes get the urge to lash out at my ex when I think about how cold and apathetic she was during and after the BU. When someone you love so much and did so much for to try and make them happy, drops you with any emotion and shows no remorse...well, damn right I get angry. Will it do any good if I actually did lash out at her? Probably not. I know I am a better person than her. 1
Sugarkane Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 anyone???? Tell us what you think after you get betrayed by someone without any remorse. I thought this was self explanatory? 1
lauri Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I don't understand this whole concept in general. You "love" the person but you want to lash out and try to hurt them? I think that's just pure immaturity. How can you expect to be treated with respect if you are stooping to a really low level like that? It doesn't matter how horrible they were, there is zero excuse to try to get back at them like this. Pull yourself together. If you want to get back at your ex, completely cut them out of your life and live an even better life then what you had with them in it. That is what will kill them, not you losing control of your emotions and lashing out at them. If you appear that way it'll do a few things: 1) turn them off of you 2) make you think you are weak 3) think all you do is care about them and think about them (ego boost).
Author loulopi Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 i try not to but when you get cheated on...i dont know..you just dont care
lauri Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 i try not to but when you get cheated on...i dont know..you just dont care I'm telling you, as per my post above, acting like YOU don't care by ignoring them and going straight NC. By getting into better shape and living life to the fullest - that'll drive them insane. Lashing out will only make you appear weak and like you care about getting validation from them. 1
hoping2heal Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 It's an emotional response and anger is a stage of grief. It's never a good idea to do it, but just bc the urge arises does not mean you have to give into it. I think it feels worse actually to allow yourself to lose self control. 2
stillfiguringitallou Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I agree that it is an emotional response. For me - I didn't lash out really - until the most recent break up. It followed a loss of a child - by FOUR days. And I was hurt AND angry. Moreso because when I simply asked : "Are you sure this is a good idea, are you sure this is what you want?" He lashed out at ME ... though - in his mind since he was "being honest" it wasn't lashing out. And I reacted - and it was immature, but I honestly wasn't in the frame of mind to be mature about anything, and have since apologized for my actions and the fact that I hurt him. Even though - much as he felt he was being honest about my flaws - I was doing the same. I apologized because two wrongs don't make a right. Doesn't seem to matter one way or the other though for what thats worth.
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