Bishop556 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 (edited) Many people are contemplating how their ex could hurt them in the way that they did, how they never expected it, how someone who loved them could be so cruel. My father told me due to this own life experiences that "most people do not truly understand the things in which they do, and many do not want to be perceived as a bad person so they will alter their perception." He then reiterated that it truly takes a loving, compassionate person to understand their actions, and think of another's perspective and well being before their own. My father had an abusive mother who degraded him daily. His brothers were always competitive and cruel to him. My father decided to disown his family. He told them he did not want to have any form of a relationship with them due to their actions towards him. He knew they did not understand what they did to him, so he walked away and developed his own life without them. The only moments of interaction he had with them was so I could have a relationship with my grandmother and my uncles despite his feelings towards them. I learned that it is sometimes better to just walk away instead of fighting within yourself to understand how your ex could hurt you in the way they did because a lot of the time they do not truly understand themselves, or are in denial about the situation. It is not a sign of weakness to feel guilt for your actions, it is actually a sign of compassion to care about how you affected another. However, don't expect your ex to understand how they hurt you. Maybe they will, maybe they won't, but it will have to be due to their own introspection. And from my perspective, introspection is difficult for most people, including myself, as it promotes honesty and not everyone wants to acknowledge their darker side. Edited May 26, 2014 by Bishop556 6
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