Clueless21 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 So here's the deal. My girlfriend is awesome. I love her and would do anything for her. I'm 21 and she's 22. We've been together since high school. She has every positive attribute that anyone could want in a girl (unless you're looking for a "bad bitch"). She is VERY smart, sweet, beautiful, caring, loves me unconditionally as do I love her. I would do anything for her. The problem is that although I'm very happy with her, I don't know if I could be happier. I've had other girlfriends but none as serious as this. I'm a one girl kind of guy and have no interest in changing that. So, because of that, I haven't really "been around" or seen what else is out there. Not necessarily physically, but all around. A few points in relation to this: I've never lived with a girl, never been in a relationship that involved sex regularly (she is saving it for marriage, so we don't have sex), I felt a little rushed by our mutual friends to ask her out back in high school so I don't feel like it was completely my decision at first even though I am happy now, I don't feel like her and I can just "hang out", we both share the very same core values however differ in the little things like our music taste and what we like to do together on our spare time (neither of us are party people though, which many people are in our age group that we know). Now, I'm a thinker and I've thought about this for the years that I've been with her, but I've hit this point where I can't figure out just where this discontent is coming from. The sex thing, I am actually ok with. I respect it and if I realize that it's just my hormones messing with me (since I am a young guy in college) I can deal with it. I understand that it would be worth the wait as are so many other things in this world. I'll get a crush on a girl here and there, but I know it's just that, a crush. The only other issue that I think all this discontent could really be coming from is the interests part, the hanging out part, and how I felt rushed. Other than that almost no complaints. She is ideal wife material. My family loves her and I love her family (and mine of course). I mean it really is just a fantastic relationship. But I heard a quote from I can't remember who that says something like "there are different loves but none the same". I know this is love, but is this the right love for me to be investing this time in while the true right love might be right in front of me and I not see it because I am occupied in this? What do you think? What should I do? Or even just where do you think this feeling of discontent that has been here for pretty much the entire relationship is coming from? p.s. I know we're both young, but I want to make sure that if I'm building a relationship like this, it's with the right person.
jbelle6 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 You're at the exact same age that I broke off with my high school sweet heart so I can actually relate to you a lot. Some people might call what you're going through "grass is greener" but I call it normal. I think at your age you should be experiencing everything you can, not looking for wife material just yet. If you have this feeling and had it all along it sounds like, maybe you just don't have that "spark". Nothing wrong with that, maybe the relationship just ran it's course. On one hand I think it's commendable to wait for sex until marriage, but on the other hand I find it really risky. Me and my husband split and at least 90% of the reason was sexual incompatibility. Just really think about it, go with your gut, if it's telling you that you should be experiencing more in the world then maybe you should. If it's right with you both your gut should tell you that. Good luck!
Author Clueless21 Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 Thank you jbelle6! The only thing is I'm sure that if and when I do break up with her, I would just get into another relationship. I'm worried that the next one or any one after would be nearly as good as this one and I might really regret it one day :/
bubbaganoosh Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 You'll never realize how much you had until you see how much you have lose so you have to ask yourself, do I let it go and hope that someone comes along that's better. In this world your only sure thing you can bet the house on is your going to die and pay taxes. Any other thing is a crap shoot. Then after you let go, you get the coulda, woulda, shoulda thoughts and by then it's too late.
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