Boyfriend(ex boyfriend) toying with my emotions

[Lp1]

Hi, I am new to this forum & I'm deeply depressed about my 3 year relationship coming to an end. I just don't know how to cope. I gave it my all& my exboyfriend seems to think that he's God's gift to me& treating my feelings like a joke. Long story short...we are in our late 30's. We began seeing each other approx. 3 years ago then approx. 10 months into our longdistant relationship(we would see each other every weekend/lived 80 miles apart) my mother passed away, he was VERY supportive & so was his family. They convinced me to relocate to their town because the cost of living was much cheaper(rent is half of the price my mother& I paid together) & I am a single parent so I couldn't afford to stay where we were living @ that time.He& His family said that they were my family now& that they would help anyway they could. They always included me& my kids in activities & we seemed to be clicking very well. It was like we belonged together. They even threw birthday parties for us etc. a few months after our relocation my exboyfriend started to pull away. He stopped coming around & his mother started giving hints that he NEVER wants to move away from her. I only live 10 miles away & he hardly ever comes around. Then he broke it to me that he had no intentions of ever marrying me& wasn't relationship material. This was after 2 years together!!! I was crushed but went NC, he continued to try to initiate contact & I eventually gave in. He said he loves me & didn't want to lose me. He explained that I would have to tolerate seeing him a couple of times a week & that he will never marry me or anyone for that matter. He started doing more "family like" activities with us all the while sending me mixed messages because I heard him loud & clear about never wanting to be married...but just figured that actions speak louder than words& his actions were those of an interested man. I think that this is worth mentioning...during the time that we were "off " I started attending college & it turns out that I have a bright future as a nurse. I have maintained a high GPA & I seriously don't feel like this is a self esteem issue on my part.

Now with all of that being said, he has broken up with me EVERY SINGLE TIME I MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT SLEEPOVERS( when my children aren't home). It has escalated to him getting very nasty saying things like b!&c* I'm sick of your .... & I told you that I'm not doing sleepovers etc. We are done!!!! then he will start texting me or calling nonstop . I'm very hurt & it's like he gets a thrill out of hurting me. Emotionally I am drained & this has happened a lot in the past few months. It's like he withdrew affection & has become a monster. Then he & his mother discuss our problems...I feel like the 3rd wheel . His mother even said she had hoped that he would "learn" from this relationship. Learn what???Am I guinea pig? I feel like a joke ,like a relationship experiment. We are in our late 30's for heaven's sake. I don't know why I can't get past the break up & heal. Everytime I try I just miss him& sure enough he calls me & I get weak. Any advice? I have no one here in this town & no funds to move on.I feel very much alone.

 

 

* also, he would tell me daily how much he loved me, I was his"Momabear",he was inlove with me....he always remembered special dates & tried to make it special. He breaks it off with me it's when I ask about specifically about anything that pertains to acting like an adult couple....sleepovers, planning a future etc

Edited May 26, 2014 by Lp1
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[jbelle6]

Thing is, his actions DO match his words. He won't marry you and he won't have sleepovers, just like he said.

 

If marriage is important to you then don't waste anymore time, you aren't going to change him or get him away from his Mama so you have to decide if you're willing to live with it or leave. I know I'd leave, they sound creepy to be honest, Mama's boys are a huge HUGE turn off for me though.

[Lp1]

Thank you for your reply . I'm trying to gather the strength to ignore him& it helps to gain some outside perspective on the situation. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I've tolerated this for so long.

[jbelle6]

Don't be embarrassed, I think all of us on here have put up with a lot of questionable behavior as well! I think that's why the answers sometimes are a bit harsh, because we've been there too and desperately don't want to see anyone else make mistakes.

 

It sounds like you are going to school and will have a successful amazing career so why waste it on a loser, I KNOW you will find better!