moimeme Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 well the religous person IS an idiot. i mean how can they believe in something that is: - not proven Prove love exists.
crisp Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 Otter, you're right. He does risk being told off by his family IF he pursues this relationship. Why even date a guy who does not have the balls to tell his folks he dates someone from another religion? Her dating him is a pure waiste of time, because so far, he puts his family first. Not himself or his believes. Loe doean/can concurr all. One condition: to have the courrage to fight the dificulties. So far he's got 0 backbone.
moimeme Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 It's not about backbone. It's about priorities. This man's priorities are family and faith. There's nothing wrong with that, but it won't make for a good relationship. religion and the minor differences between the religions cause more problems than they solve when look at from a global perspective It's humans that cause problems. They take something benign like religion and turn it into a weapon. There's nothing to blame for it but humans themselves. There's no end to reasons they find to dislike one another. If it's not religion, it's race, or gender, or whether or not the neighbour mows the lawn. So to blame religion is bogus. What's important in a relationship is that both people share the same values. If he values family and faith more than you do, you're hooped. If you both value family and faith, but have very different families and faiths, also hooped. And that's the issue.
alphamale Posted February 12, 2005 Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme It's humans that cause problems. They take something benign like religion and turn it into a weapon. There's nothing to blame for it but humans themselves. Human emotions and human nature cause the problems specifically, MOIMEME. This is the same argument that the NRA uses to keep american citizens armed to the teeth. <<"Guns don't kill people, people kill people" >> That's total BS cause the guns are a TOOL that make it a helluva lot EASIER to kill people. And in the same vein religion is another TOOL that makes it EASIER to cause problems between imperfect humans. There are already so many damn differences between peoples that the religous thing just makes it worse.
moimeme Posted February 13, 2005 Posted February 13, 2005 There are already so many damn differences between peoples that the religous thing just makes it worse That 'religious thing' has been responsible for the creation of many hospitals and schools and tons and tons of good works It's imperfect but everything involving humans is. Face it, Alpha, if there wasn't religion, people would find other excuses to hate each other. In fact, they don't hate each other usually because of religion. They hate each other anyway and blame it on religion. I don't see an answer to bluetuesday's excellent post, btw.
crisp Posted February 13, 2005 Posted February 13, 2005 Not religion, but what people make out of religion. Since she's in America and her bf and her bf's family are also in America, I presume they have access to information, to other pov. It's not like they were living under a dictator who would shut them out from the rest of the world and indoctrinate them. Especially since they have more than one choice, they fear losing their identity. I think that's the root of this problem. This could be why his family wants a girl from the same religion. I said before he had 0 backbone. I stand to my affirmation, because being born in a family does not allow that family to make such important choices for him. It is him doing that. It's him, his choice. Oh, I do understand the meaning of respect, obeidance, gratefullness. But they should come for free. Not with a tag price. The tag price of his family is his future's wife religion. He obviously does not feel the same since he is engaged in a relationship with a white, Christian woman. Alph, no offence, you're missing the point of this thread. Just my humble opinion.
BLaZeStaR Posted February 13, 2005 Posted February 13, 2005 If there is anyone on here who really knows what muslim guys are like...it would have to be me...i never post on these things....but i will help you out with this one...i have dated 5 muslim guys...all my guy friends are muslim..and believe it or not...i have never even once met their family....i cant call their house....my ex bfs mom hated me even though she didnt know me...she didnt like me cuz i was Sikh...it depends on the parents..so do ur self a favor and ask him because sometimes the guy will want to date a non-muslim girl...and dont hold back because you feel he will never tell his parents about you...usually thats how it is...they arent open about such things. One thing though ask him this..do your parents expect you to marry someone with the same religious background as you?..that way u are curious as a friend...and you will get your answer and then if its a yes..then forget about it...if no...then you can go ahead and tell him how u feel...and also if u do pursue a relationship with him...and his parents dont accept you...they NEVER will..no matter if u convert or whatever...if u convert they will be ok with u..but u still wont be from a muslim family...and they have problems with that..im dating a muslim guy right now..and his parents said he could marry whoever he wants...so i say ask him..cuz there is hope...
moimeme Posted February 13, 2005 Posted February 13, 2005 However, I knew a couple in my class where he was muslim and she was originally not. She converted and they were both real happy. They weren't adhering strictly to whichever of the sects they belonged to's practices, though.
alphamale Posted February 13, 2005 Posted February 13, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme However, I knew a couple in my class where he was muslim and she was originally not. She converted and they were both real happy. They weren't adhering strictly to whichever of the sects they belonged to's practices, though. i know a few couples of interfaith and they are not religious. they seem to be happy but one never knows what goes on behind closed doors. a couple that looks happy on the outside can be totally miserable and vice versa.
CurlyIam Posted February 13, 2005 Posted February 13, 2005 A couple that looks happy on the outside can be totally miserable and vice versa The same goes for atheist couples.
kanga Posted February 13, 2005 Posted February 13, 2005 My closest experience with this is in between a former roommmate and her ex-bf. They dated for several years. She's Catholic; he's Hindu. They, themselves, had no issues with the religious difference. They even had mapped out a way to raise their children, if they got to that point. His parents, however, were not OK with them. Had they married, his parents would have cut him out of their lives. She eventually ended it because he wasn't willing to take the risk of losing his relationship with his parents. There are a lot of things that can prevent two people from capatibility -- social class, education level, race, religion. The abiliity to overcome any difference depends on the importance that aspect or value plays in the person's life, the willingness to work through the difference (or find a way to live with it) and the amount of risk the couple is willing to endure to make it work.
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