Gaeta Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 I am from a family of 4 siblings. We are a close knitted family and spend lots of time together. I have been dating someone for 3 months, we have not introduced each other to our family and friends yet but this weekend when family asked me what's new in my love life I told them I had been seeing someone for 3 months. They asked the usual, his name, what he does for living, children, and how old he is. I had a couple of pictures on my phone so I showed them. The entire group had the same reaction: ohhhhhhh !! pretty boy, 12 years younger! nice rebound Gaeta! have fun! We went back and forth on he's a rebound - no he's not - yes he is. So it left me wondering. Have you had rebound relationships? Did you know you were on the rebound? Is there a couple of clues that we're on a rebound? Thanks
Omei Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Any rebounds I had I knew were rebounds because I didnt feel emotionally connected or invested in the relationship. If you're emotionally connected and invested I wouldn't say its a rebound. 1
stateofgrace Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 This was pretty much the exact situation that happened to me! Like word for word, haha. I experienced my first heartbreak (I'm 23) in September 2013, with a guy I had been with for 3 years, first love and all that. It didn't end on bad terms, it ended on very civil terms actually. It still took me a solid two months of sadness to start to feel better about things, but I felt better and started working on myself, got myself to a good place in my life. About 6 months after the break up, I met my current boyfriend. Didn't expect to meet someone that had everything on my "new mate checklist", but I did. So I didn't want to throw it away, so I went for it. 4 months later, here we are. Some people said it was a rebound (such as my ex..lol) but I truly don't think that's what it was. I was over my ex at that point. I think as long as you're over your ex, your thoughts aren't consumed by the break up or the ex, and your full concentration (relationship wise) is on your new partner, then it's not a rebound. If you've given yourself a sufficient amount of time to get over what you need to get over, then that's what matters. Only you know when you're ready. That's just my take on it. 1
Author Gaeta Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 Any rebounds I had I knew were rebounds because I didnt feel emotionally connected or invested in the relationship. If you're emotionally connected and invested I wouldn't say its a rebound. Interesting because I thought it was the opposite that people on the rebound were infatuated to the point of blindness. Like those stories you hear of people falling deep in love 3 days after their break up. As for me I am not emotionally invested as I wish I would be. I have been asking myself why I don't have this 'in love' feeling yet.
Omei Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Interesting because I thought it was the opposite that people on the rebound were infatuated to the point of blindness. Like those stories you hear of people falling deep in love 3 days after their break up. As for me I am not emotionally invested as I wish I would be. I have been asking myself why I don't have this 'in love' feeling yet. I guess that's another form of rebound im too realistic to fall in love in three days that word holds too much meaning to be tossed about for me. Anyway I wouldn't expect someone to have a "inlove" feeling so soon but.... Sometimes when you're together do you at least get butterflies? When he says something or does something?
Author Gaeta Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 Anyway I wouldn't expect someone to have a "inlove" feeling so soon but.... Sometimes when you're together do you at least get butterflies? When he says something or does something? Yes I do, when we meet and our eyes lock I get a rush, same when we're intimate. On the other hand, even though he is first-page-magazine attractive, I still look at other men when I am alone. That is not my usual behavior, usually when I am with a man no other men exist.
sportygirl89 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 If he still talks about his ex girlfriend as his girlfriend or ex wife as still his wife, it is a rebound. If he doesn't open up to you and flakes out on you when you question him about relationship issues, it is a rebound. My rebound got divorced in December of 2012, we started dating in early 2013, and he moved here in June of 2013. A month later he broke up with me with no explanation, now that was a rebound. He told me for the past year that he was enjoying being single, but 5 days ago he got into a relationship after saying no more relationships after me, now that is a rebound. He may last the summer into the school year a bit, but he didn't know what he wanted half the time even with me. Much less what is so different about this girl (I'm considered a good girl and fairly innocent by my friends and family, and even have gotten straight laced term). I pity this new girl I really do. She'll fall in love with him (military relationship) the way I did with his charm and get her heart broken. Hopefully he will at least quit referring to his ex wife as his wife! May that idiot rot in h** where he deserves, for playing with me like that.
MissBee Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 I had a rebound FWB where the guy was on the rebound and I've also had another situation where I was on the rebound. In both cases I was aware. In his case he was very much still heartbroken over her and we talked about her and the demise of their relationship quite often, so that was obvious. However, I tolerated it because we weren't actually dating. In the case where I was on the rebound I knew it...I basically fell into dating this guy who had liked me for a while and whom I'd sort of liked but not really, after I had broken up with someone else. But deep down he kind of annoyed me, I knew we didn't have that much in common, I still thought about my ex and compared him to him etc. and knew I was mostly in it as a way to feel better but I hadn't fully processed the last relationship and would have never entertained him seriously if I was in a different emotional space. I don't think all rebounds have to be that obvious but certainly clues that you or they are rebounding include: - do you still think/pine after your ex and if they returned would you possibly give them a chance? - did you give yourself space and time to process the end of your last relationship or just dove head first into the new one? -do you have that much in common or are you compatible in any real way or are there huge ways that you're not compatible but are ignoring simply because it feels good to be with them for now? - if you are confused about if you're rebounding, that is also a sign that you may be But this site had an interesting list of 15 ways to know if you're rebounding: 15 Rebound Relationship Signs To Watch Out For - Lovepanky
Author Gaeta Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 But this site had an interesting list of 15 ways to know if you're rebounding: 15 Rebound Relationship Signs To Watch Out For - Lovepanky Thank you that was helpful. I got 4 yes our of 15. They say if we have 'more than a few' yes out of 15 we may be experiencing a rebound. I would consider 4 a few, but not more than a few.
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