axle_boy Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 Just broke up again. She broke up with me around Christmas and we got back together but this time I think it might be it for the two of us. Hi everyone I am hoping to get a little advice her or be told that I am doing the right thing. This post might be a little long so sorry also, I am going to be very personal. Sorry. Well, she broke up with me last night. This is not the first time, the first time was on Dec30th and now about 6 weeks later she has done it again. Now first off, I just want to say that I don't hate or resent her. Of course I am upset and it hurt BUT I don't hate he because I have broken up with people before and know how it feels when you MIGHT not want to see someone anymore or just simply want something else. So for that, I don't hate her. Also, she was really good to me in the 2 1/2 years that we went out and she really made me into a better person JUST because I knew her. We were friends for 2 years before. She never really tried to hurt me and for that I have the respect for her. She also told me that she is scared of breaking up because she is afraid of losing me and is a little confused. Also, she mentioned that doesn't if she loves me for "who" I am. Ok, what happened was I called her up last night and noticed she was very upset. She said that she didn't want to talk about it but I pressed and eventually it came out. She told me that she hasn't been happy for a while. She told me that when we had some arguments in the passed she wished I broke up with her so she would not feel guilty. This March I was supposed to go on a trip to the Dominican Republic with her and her sister and brother in law. Last year I let her down by not going but this year I was interested and wanted to go and finalized the plans with her borther in law. She told me last night that it was fair for me to go on this trip and feel this way about "us" and then break up with me. She also told me that she is afraid to get married with me because she thinks we will fight a lot and she says deep down in her heart that she knows that we might not be meant to be together. She also said that she kind of faked being happy sometimes . Okay, so she told me that she still wanted me to be a part of her life and I honestly said that "no" I can't. Not because I don't want to know her but because it would take me a good long time to move on and I don't want to be set back. I then told her that maybe in year or so but not right now. She then told me that she wanted to me take this sentimental blanket that I gave her back and I told her either, put it away somewhere I get it later or mail it to me because I don't want to see her. Finally, I said I have to go and she said ok but she said "you" have to hang up so I did. Now, we broke up in Dec and got back together a few days later because she just "wanted" to be with me. At that time, she missed her period which she did and was all freaked out. She got a pregnacy test and told me everything was ok and such. We had a long chat about some of the things that she didn't like that I was doing (like never being there when she really needed me) which I changed. I was there but sometimes I gave a hastle about it. After we got back together I did change some of the things that she didn't like so it wouldn't make her unhappy. For me, I really think things were okay the last month but obviously for her they werent. Before last night (Tuesday) she called me a told me that she was unhappy. I asked about what and she told me life in general. she told me that she felt helpless and hated school, wasn't sure if it was the right program, wasn't sure if she wanted to work instead. I simply listened and then told her that whatever decision about life she wants to make I would support her with it. I know she is very busy with work AND school as went to work yesterday from 9-4 and then to university from 5-930. She did gain a little weight and told me that she is unhappy about her body. Then she broke up with me when she got home. Also, she is late again this month. This time I really think there could be something because we had sex about half way through her cylce. But anyhow, she is about 10 days late like last time. Finally, I am 5 years older than year, I am 26 just finished university looking for a job ect. She is in her first year. Now. I am not looking for anyone to tell me to hate her or be told how to feel. I REALLY love this girl from the bottom of my heart because of who she is. I found this out in the summer when I was going to leave her and then realized that I love her for who she is. Ther is NOTHING that makes me more happy than for he to be happy and whatever I can do to make her happy I would love to. Please, nobody tell to hate her because I don't. I am her first boyfriend and I have felt what she has felt before with my first girlfriend. Also, I have always held the position that she needs to know what other guys are like so she can compare me. I know what other girls a like and I am very happy with her because the good outweighs the bad.. However, I am not saying she is perfect or doesn't have flaws beacuse she does. Just being with her in the same room makes me happy. Now, I told that I wasn't so sure that I would take her back. I plan of having ABSOLUTELY no contact with her unless she contacts me which I will not necassarly talk to her right away. I also, realize that this might be it for the both of us however I have no doubt that after a while she WILL realize the mistake she has made and will see me for who I am..... I also understand that she needs to go through this stage in her life of how she feels about guys or life in gereral and for me to not let her feel this way would be unfair to her and me. The NC is the right choice. I do want to try to move on but I also know that I love her very much. what does everyone think. Please no hate posts about her and no specualation of what other reasons in could be. She has NEVER given me a reason ever to doubt her honesty and for that I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. One thing I want to add is that I fully understand that life will go on with her or without her and I am prepared to do that. It will be tough but I know I can move on. Thank you.
acidrein_08 Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 Wow dude, everything we can tell you on this forum you have already mentioned in your post. No girl out there is perfect, but what would be the fun if they were ? Without some arguements I don't believe anyone would grow in a relationship. She is young and just want to get out and try some things on her own. It is a good thing that you let her go becuase there is no sense waiting around for her. There are plenty of people out there and you never know that maybe after she grows up some more she will understand how you feel and want to be with you again. Just keep your head up, good luck with your job search, I know that can be frustrating .
Recommended Posts