xxJuliexx Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Hey, I posted about weather or not I should go to my guy friend's softball game considering his response and that I blew him off. It's the "How should I take this?" post. Anyways later on in the week we both were texting and he asked if I would go to his game, and he invited me again! I agreed to it and I went to his game. It went well, he was kinda mad though that his team lost, but he was cool with me. He came back to my house to do yard work for my mom, lol. He is still kinda different. He is not as flirty, huggy, or complimentary as he was with me before. He is just normal with me. I am starting to kinda flirt with him and compliment him and he doesn't reciprocate. He would usually hug me and say "I love you" a lot to me when he leaves, and now he just says "Bye" but yet he invited me again to his softball game? I just don't understand why he changed with me, and he is just normal with me. I just don't understand, everything went well, but he is still not acting flirty with me. He is still acting distant in a way, I don't know how to take that? What do you think?
David87 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Maybe he likes your mom ? lol . If he acts distant then do the same.
d0nnivain Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 If he was more into you then you were into him, he's backed off to mirror your expressed level of interest. Somebody told him that the fastest way to catch a girl is to make her chase you. When he backed off, you stepped up. If you back off now, he will consider that proof that you don't like him & he will disappear. That said, it was wayyyyyy too early for him to be saying I love you. Keep going to his softball games & be his biggest cheerleader. He'll come around. If he's doing yard work for your mom, he likes you. By sticking by him you are showing him that it's safe to like you back, that you aren't going to hurt him.
DArtagnan2 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 If he was more into you then you were into him, he's backed off to mirror your expressed level of interest. Somebody told him that the fastest way to catch a girl is to make her chase you. When he backed off, you stepped up. If you back off now, he will consider that proof that you don't like him & he will disappear. That said, it was wayyyyyy too early for him to be saying I love you. Keep going to his softball games & be his biggest cheerleader. He'll come around. If he's doing yard work for your mom, he likes you. By sticking by him you are showing him that it's safe to like you back, that you aren't going to hurt him. I'd have to agree. He is tailoring his feelings, expectations and whatnot for now.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 He is likely backing off a bit because you blew him off in the past. I'd be doing the same. You need to understand that your prior choices have consequences. You may have been nervous and shy in the past, but remember that he probably interpreted that as a lack of interest on your part. Give him some time and don't flake on him again. By the way, why is he telling you he loves you?
Author xxJuliexx Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 If he was more into you then you were into him, he's backed off to mirror your expressed level of interest. Somebody told him that the fastest way to catch a girl is to make her chase you. When he backed off, you stepped up. If you back off now, he will consider that proof that you don't like him & he will disappear. That said, it was wayyyyyy too early for him to be saying I love you. Keep going to his softball games & be his biggest cheerleader. He'll come around. If he's doing yard work for your mom, he likes you. By sticking by him you are showing him that it's safe to like you back, that you aren't going to hurt him. Yeah, good points! I have stuck by him and helped him out many many times, like I have picked him up when he was stranded and helped him out emotionally. I have known him more than a year, and he has been saying "I love you" to me like a month after I knew him. But also he was getting paid to do the yard work, he wasn't doing it for free, so I still don't know. But thank you!
Author xxJuliexx Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 He is likely backing off a bit because you blew him off in the past. I'd be doing the same. You need to understand that your prior choices have consequences. You may have been nervous and shy in the past, but remember that he probably interpreted that as a lack of interest on your part. Give him some time and don't flake on him again. By the way, why is he telling you he loves you? I have known him for over a year and the first month I knew him he was saying "I love you" to me. I am not sure why he would say it all the time but he rarely does now. I only blew him off once though, and I have done so many things for him and I have been through thick and thin with him, but I understand what you're saying. Thank you!
Assasda Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Yeah this guy is doing the right thing. Why invest time in someone, that doesnt care about you? Just be tentative with them, because you dont know what they have to offer
Author xxJuliexx Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 Yeah this guy is doing the right thing. Why invest time in someone, that doesnt care about you? Just be tentative with them, because you dont know what they have to offer Yeah, I don't know though. But I see what you mean. Thanks.
DArtagnan2 Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I have known him for over a year and the first month I knew him he was saying "I love you" to me. I am not sure why he would say it all the time but he rarely does now. I only blew him off once though, and I have done so many things for him and I have been through thick and thin with him, but I understand what you're saying. Thank you! even though its been over a year, you bruised his ego a lil or at least made him unsure about how he acts towards you. Just be patient and continue to be there for him. He will come around once he begins to feel comfortable saying and doing those things again. 1
Author xxJuliexx Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 even though its been over a year, you bruised his ego a lil or at least made him unsure about how he acts towards you. Just be patient and continue to be there for him. He will come around once he begins to feel comfortable saying and doing those things again. Thanks! Yeah I didn't reciprocate at all, cause when he was acting flirty with me and trying to date me, I was going through a break up, and I was in the "All men are liars" phase, cause I just didn't want any guy. So I didn't reciprocate at all, when he was trying to date me, and the things he said etc. But now that I am healed from the breakup, I am willing to date him, but I am unsure now what he feels towards me cause like I said he's not the same as he was with me, so I just don't know if he lost interest? But then if he lost interest why would he invite me again to his softball game? He didn't have to invite me again considering I blew him off the last time. But I see what you mean! Thank you!
DArtagnan2 Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 Thanks! Yeah I didn't reciprocate at all, cause when he was acting flirty with me and trying to date me, I was going through a break up, and I was in the "All men are liars" phase, cause I just didn't want any guy. So I didn't reciprocate at all, when he was trying to date me, and the things he said etc. But now that I am healed from the breakup, I am willing to date him, but I am unsure now what he feels towards me cause like I said he's not the same as he was with me, so I just don't know if he lost interest? But then if he lost interest why would he invite me again to his softball game? He didn't have to invite me again considering I blew him off the last time. But I see what you mean! Thank you! Did he know why you weren't reciprocating? That you were going through the breakup and the "I hate men" phase? He may think you are still going through it, if so. (?) I also think regardless, people knowing that someone is going through that phase, men or women, that they ego's get bruised or feelings could get hurt or taken personally like you just aren't interested. I believe that many will still think that whatever superpower they possess will be able to win you over regardless of what you may be going through. So when it isn't given back, they don't understand it isn't about them really. I guess you can be thankful that he is still around, in some capacity and communicating on more then a "Hey whats up" kind of level. You have a 2nd chance to see if things could work out as long as he isn't taken. The chance to let him know of your interest and see if it can go somewhere. If its shared on both sides, the opportunity will present itself. If not, then you'll know that too. Go with the flow, what comes as it comes and it will work itself out from there.
Author xxJuliexx Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 Did he know why you weren't reciprocating? That you were going through the breakup and the "I hate men" phase? He may think you are still going through it, if so. (?) I also think regardless, people knowing that someone is going through that phase, men or women, that they ego's get bruised or feelings could get hurt or taken personally like you just aren't interested. I believe that many will still think that whatever superpower they possess will be able to win you over regardless of what you may be going through. So when it isn't given back, they don't understand it isn't about them really. I guess you can be thankful that he is still around, in some capacity and communicating on more then a "Hey whats up" kind of level. You have a 2nd chance to see if things could work out as long as he isn't taken. The chance to let him know of your interest and see if it can go somewhere. If its shared on both sides, the opportunity will present itself. If not, then you'll know that too. Go with the flow, what comes as it comes and it will work itself out from there. No he didn't know that I was going through a breakup. I didn't tell him about it, I was trying to forget about as much as I can so I was going out with friends and I was going out with him too, but just not in dating type of way, I went out with him never alone, it was always with someone, but yeah I just kept myself busy and tried to forget about it, I only spoke to a few friends about it, cause honestly I just didn't want to ramble and ramble about my breakup so I was going out every night and taking extra shifts at work etc. But yeah he didn't know, and I never really said I just needed a friend right now or anything! I just let him kept doing what he was doing, cause I thought "Why stop him if he is just trying to get into my pants?" or "He's not serious" so that is why I didn't stop him in his tracks when he was trying to go out with me, and he was saying things etc. Which was wrong cause I should've just said from the getgo "I just need a friend I went through a breakup, and I am not ready to date, but we can be friends" I should've at least clarified that, but I didn't. I guess cause like I said, I thought he wasn't serious. Who knows he probably wasn't. But I appreciate the advice, and I think I am going to take things slow with him and figure out the situation, thank you so much!
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