Hurting someone else?

[Strength in Healing]

Tell me your perspectives on this.

 

Say you dated a girl for over a year, and when she broke up with you, it hurt more than any other breakup before or since. Say years later, you still love her and think of her from time to time.

 

Say you reach out to her.

 

And she says she is "talking" to another guy.

 

Let's say you are between a rock and a hard place. You admit you still love her and never stopped.

 

Let's say it is hurting the guy she is talking to, but your feelings are sincere. But really he is being hurt emotionally.

 

 

 

Would YOU proceed?

[somedude81]

Don't reach out to her.

 

If she's with another guy, it's an even bigger reason not to talk to her. Your feelings be dammed.

[ayala]

If you truly love them, let them go. If they return, its meant to be. If not, hit them with a brick.

 

Just kidding. (No I'm not *wink*)

 

Seriously. She's with someone else. Your feelings are irrelevant. Let her go. Don't contact her. Give yourself time and space to move on.

[Strength in Healing]

Thank you both.

 

I see exactly what you're saying.

 

There are two factors, however.

 

1). They aren't official, just talking.

 

2). I GAVE her a chance to make me go away. I told her "tell me to f off blatantly if you really want me to disappear, and I will."

 

No reply. Hours later she said she was drunk.

 

 

 

 

 

If you still love someone after that many years, you have to try. She, we will call her C, blames me for what went wrong in that relationship. And it was my fault. I was selfish, vain, egotistical. I had a shield up because I was hurt by the girl before her. I was the jerk girls complain about. But I've been explaining to her the past few days everything has changed. I grew up. Which I did.

 

The guy she is talking to started messaging me yesterday quite pissed and I empathized with him and explained it kills me to cause him pain because I know what it feels like, but one day he will understand why I did it.