OnwardandUpward Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Please bare with me and help me to know me. Husband ended our marraige and unfortunatly i had been all about him and the kids for so long, that i do not know me. I understand and regularly warn people to take a blank sheet of paper and divide it into 9 boxes. Now fill each of those boxes with something of you. If you keep all nine filled and one of those boxes leaves your life - you still have 8 boxes holding you up. Unfortunatly i ended up very sick and forgot to have any boxes filled. They were all my husband. My good things. I have a lovely flat. I have a brand new car. I have enough art supplies to last me a year. I am a fantastic artist and i paint daily. I have a load of dream catchers arriving - 1600 actually and i intend to do the markets with art and dream catchers in a bid to create a small income. I am 49 - I am slim, some say attractive. I am kind. I am intelligent. I am good on computers. I live in quite a big city area where everything is at my beck and call. I have my 15 year old son that i see once a fortnight. I have a 20 year old step daughter that i see when she gets to pop in after uni. My bad bits. I broke my back really badly and because i did not know i was gluten intolerant - i have arthritis in my spine and knee, i also have osteoporosis in my hip. I can not lift or bend. I have a very big broken heart and i feel incredibly angry and jaded in life. I feel very very old and sort of like wtf who cares. I am a hermit. I struggle at the moment to go anywhere except from point a to point b and back again. I know no one. Can you help me from the above information to fill my 9 boxes. Clearly one box is art. Clearly one box is a new business which should start in one month. Clearly one box is the time i get to spend with my son. That leaves this poor hermit with 6 boxes left to go. I need to go out and meet people but i am so sick to death of meeting people, forming friendships, all to find out they are not what they appear. Basically two faced b****ches. I am pretty jaded. Any ideas would be really appreciated.
Author OnwardandUpward Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 Today I took a huge step and joined meetup .. I joined a group called over 40's and will be having lunch with a whole new pile of people on sunday. 2
d0nnivain Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 It's going to take time. The fact that you are interested in redicovering yourself & rebuilding a life is a good positive thing. Art will definitely play a huge part. Depending on where you live, think about volunteering at an art museum. You need to establish a new social circle & a shared loved of art will help. Remember you are looking for new female friends as well as someone new to date. While you see your physical issues as negatives, without obsessing about them, do you think joining a support group for people with similiar issues might help? At least you will get new coping strategies
Author OnwardandUpward Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 Thankyou for answering me. I really need some social circles ..my family is so far away and I have a broken heart. I stay in the area I am in because my son is here, otherwise I would move. I am meeting new people on sunday as I said. I also just joined a group for face painters. I kind of envision myself at markets selling art and dream catchers and painting faces on a sunday. That would be fun. Something you said about not obsessing over my back made me realise I do. Every conversation I have ends up about my back, often this is because I drop things and pick up with my toes or kick it to someone to pick up for me and they ask why. So instead of going into a long story of how it was done, even though people ask, I could just say broke my back no big deal. My self confidence and esteem has been hammered as most people on this board experience. My heart aches. I had a business earning average 4 grand a week and now im on government handouts of 450 a week. Massive changes in my life. I am determined not to surrender to this but instead to just feel the fear and do it anywat
learning_slowly Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I know it's tough changing your income levels. And I don't know what's possible with your skills, are there other things you can . But try and get a goal where the business can sustain you and you enjoy it. Then the daily journey to that goal will be a reward in itself.
cenz Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Hello, i'm a struggling artist myself. My ex supported my passion all through 4 years despite of my family not agreeing with my choice. But after break up i don't feel like painting or anything anymore. Currently unemployed too. You have to hang on to your art passion, don't let it dimnish. What we are good at will improve our self confidence. Sorry for not able to offer a better advice, im currently still dealing with my break up. I hope everything goes well for you, sending hug and kisses to you. Let's be strong and find happiness in our life without the dumper.
Erlaad Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Box 1 - Art Box 2 - Your New Business Box 3 - Time with your Son Box 4 - You Self-Awareness Box 5 - Physical Fitness & Attractiveness Box 6 - Your Relation with your Step - Daughter Box 7 - Your Self-Sufficiency Box 8 - Your Computer Skills Box 9 - Your Long Experience in Life I purposely listed only the positives for your nine boxes. I hope this helps you to see your life with a more objective and serene viewpoint. Peace be with your heart, Erl
littleplanet Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Please bare with me and help me to know me. Husband ended our marraige and unfortunatly i had been all about him and the kids for so long, that i do not know me. I understand and regularly warn people to take a blank sheet of paper and divide it into 9 boxes. Now fill each of those boxes with something of you. If you keep all nine filled and one of those boxes leaves your life - you still have 8 boxes holding you up. Unfortunatly i ended up very sick and forgot to have any boxes filled. They were all my husband. My good things. I have a lovely flat. I have a brand new car. I have enough art supplies to last me a year. I am a fantastic artist and i paint daily. I have a load of dream catchers arriving - 1600 actually and i intend to do the markets with art and dream catchers in a bid to create a small income. I am 49 - I am slim, some say attractive. I am kind. I am intelligent. I am good on computers. I live in quite a big city area where everything is at my beck and call. I have my 15 year old son that i see once a fortnight. I have a 20 year old step daughter that i see when she gets to pop in after uni. My bad bits. I broke my back really badly and because i did not know i was gluten intolerant - i have arthritis in my spine and knee, i also have osteoporosis in my hip. I can not lift or bend. I have a very big broken heart and i feel incredibly angry and jaded in life. I feel very very old and sort of like wtf who cares. I am a hermit. I struggle at the moment to go anywhere except from point a to point b and back again. I know no one. Can you help me from the above information to fill my 9 boxes. Clearly one box is art. Clearly one box is a new business which should start in one month. Clearly one box is the time i get to spend with my son. That leaves this poor hermit with 6 boxes left to go. I need to go out and meet people but i am so sick to death of meeting people, forming friendships, all to find out they are not what they appear. Basically two faced b****ches. I am pretty jaded. Any ideas would be really appreciated. Okay, here goes: (6 boxes) BOX#1 / A brand-new creative thing that you've never done before, that possibly you always wanted to do Box #2 / A volunteer postion doing something/anything that gets you out of the house at least once a week. Preferrably helping people in some way....who are worse off than you. (idea) or......instead of that - volunteering the teach art to children. Box #3 / Starting a journal of your life. Box #4 Finding one other creative thing (not necessarily something you will do yourself) such as music? dance? but that you can admire, and has therapeutic qualities. Box #5 (tough one) Make up your mind that you're going to find that elusive friend. Box # 6 This one is all about you. The good things. The accomplishments and acheivements. The good person. The self respect. The pride. The things that other like-minded people would appreciate, even admire. The three boxes you're starting out with are excellent, I'd say. 1
littleplanet Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Thankyou for answering me. I really need some social circles ..my family is so far away and I have a broken heart. I stay in the area I am in because my son is here, otherwise I would move. I am meeting new people on sunday as I said. I also just joined a group for face painters. I kind of envision myself at markets selling art and dream catchers and painting faces on a sunday. That would be fun. Something you said about not obsessing over my back made me realise I do. Every conversation I have ends up about my back, often this is because I drop things and pick up with my toes or kick it to someone to pick up for me and they ask why. So instead of going into a long story of how it was done, even though people ask, I could just say broke my back no big deal. My self confidence and esteem has been hammered as most people on this board experience. My heart aches. I had a business earning average 4 grand a week and now im on government handouts of 450 a week. Massive changes in my life. I am determined not to surrender to this but instead to just feel the fear and do it anywat Yes, face painting would be fun. The kind of events that feature such activities can be wonderful. Creativity can be wonderful therapy for a broken heart. I've used it the few times in my life when I really needed it. (I'm a musician.) Not what I do for a living...... but what I do for love. The therapeutic value of it grows ever larger the older I get. And the social part of it is wonderful. Gets better all the time (sometimes....much to my astonishment.) My condolences on your misfortune. Sometimes that long ladder climb back upwards to where you were - works better with the ladder turned horizontal, like a bridge.......... to cross over to something new. All the best. 1
Author OnwardandUpward Posted June 27, 2014 Author Posted June 27, 2014 I have to be honest and ended up in a really bad place after posting this question - i went down into a deep black hole of texting back and forward to the ex and it led me to thoughts i never thought i would go to. I found myself thru this time. I forgot i had even posted this thread. I thank each and everyone of you kind hearts fro replying and i am sorry i never came back. My black hole ended up so deep i spent 4 days on the bed in deep thoughts of suicide. I pulled myself out. I have stopped all communication with my ex and i started looking into me. Me was there all along. I quit smoking. I have now been told i will never work again as my spine is too fragile. That is perfectly ok It is as it is and so i began wheeling and dealing. I borrowed $1000 AUD - I put $2000 Aud on my credit card and i made some purchases - on top of the dream catchers i already have on their way - for a $4500 investment - at a minimum at wholesale it will return me $22 000. I am a great wheeler and dealer and i am tickled pink to start my new business. I even sold a piece of art to switzerland. I am going to be ok. Infact i am better then ok - i am personally happy. There will be no more contact with the ex as i realise this is no good for me. It keeps me somewhere that i do not need to be and that is self doubt. So i have a business now. I have my son. My step daughter. My art. My family who i am off to see next week for a week. I have me. I have portraiture group. Only a couple of boxes left to fill and they will be filled as life unfolds for me. No one can take what is mine away from me - that is the knowing that regardless of what befalls me in life - i always land on my feet Meow
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