My story of falling in love with a person using the intention of "rebounding a girl"

[sportygirl89]

It was up until this weekend I was beating my self up day after day. I should have looked at the red flags when I was with him. I hope this post helps other people to not get hurt and a year of your life wasted by going through every single emotion towards this person. They are not worth your time.

 

We met on NYE in 2012, originally I was flirting with his best friend at the time who obviously only wanted to hook up with me. I'm not the hook up type of girl. So after NYE I went out on a date to prove if he was just interested in sex or not. My gut feeling was right on. I stopped really talking to him, but became friends with his other best friend in the area. The recently divorced in December 2012. He was a cute southern boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. I couldn't believe why his ex would cheat on him overseas fighting for our country (more than 4 years ago).

 

I added him on facebook since I remembered him from the other night and thought he was cute. I saw on his facebook he was divorced in December 2012 and he announced on facebook, "I don't know if this is the best place to announce, but ladies I'm single, haha." I should have viewed that as red flag.

 

We talked about a month or so. He came up a couple of times in Feb of 2013 and we had a good time. I asked him what we were (as it was going to be a while before we saw each other again during spring break --he goes to school after being a National Guard Veteran). He asked me to be his girlfriend. This was my first boyfriend in a while. I was elated! There was so much passion. He would brag to people that I was a little like him. His family wanted to meet me ASAP. They loved me, everyone loved me.

 

June of 2013 he moved here to be with me, or so I thought. I encouraged him to hang out with his guy friend in the area. Then it got to be more guy time, less us time.

 

He would always refer to his ex wife as his "wife." I was getting annoyed all the time with him talking about her in that way. I knew it must have been hard on him, but there was no chance in us if he was going to continue on talking about her as his "wife." I figured he would get over it. So we went to a family gathering on my side. Three days after we got back he broke up with me. This was a month after he moved here to be with me (we hung out nearly everyday).

 

Before he broke up with me I thought I was pregnant. Then got tested for stage 2 Lyme Disease with two co-infections. Went on 6 rounds of antibiotics, still not 100% cured to this day. Any guy friend I talk to says it was messed up he left me when I was sick. Even if I was in fact pregnant he would not have been around (just with how he shut me out of his life).

 

Background: Sent to Iraq, had two explosives go off very close to him causing him Traumatic brain injuries, and later a seizure that made him brain dead at the time. While dating he would not take his seizure meds regularly and would drink pints of alcohol weekly.

 

As much as a nice guy he was he had issues. Issues he wasn't going to get taken care of such as PTSD. PTSD never goes away. It was exhausting being with him. I didn't want to give up on him.

 

He was single up until about a 5 days ago after he told me a week ago he enjoyed being single. Then he got into a relationship and told me she was not the type of person to have just sex with. I asked him what was I then (go figure no response). I tried to be friends with him since he lived so close with him. I realized after the "she's not the type for sex girl" that he was never a friend. No friend would treat me that way. He was the one who actually wanted to try to be friends. I wasn't letting him have his cake and eat it to. After months of trying to be just friends with him, I pulled the plug. I deserve a much better guy and a guy who will be willing to get help in the event he does need it. There was a lack of miscommunication between us. He said I did things after the break up, but never told me during the relationship. (I run in EMS and work in a psych ward so know much about PTSD).

 

I am free from heart ache and heart break, don't get me wrong it still hurts (but not as much). Anyone who has been in the rebound position, you are not alone. There have been others like you. It is not easy dating the next person that much I can assure you. But it will be worth it to be treated better by available people. Who knows if my ex is still even unavailable or available after his 5 year marriage (being divorced), as I've heard it takes at least 2 years to be able to move on, it's only been a year for him).

 

I wish him best of luck, but he won't be using me anymore.

Edited May 26, 2014 by sportygirl89