Is it weird for a 14 year old guy to date a 21 year old girl?

[Jake_Manna]

So basically there's this girl I've known for a few weeks and we've gotten really close. I met her at her job and we've been talking since then and we both really like each other. We've thought of going out but the problem is that she's 7 years older than me and we think people might think it's bizarre.

 

I talked to my parents about this and they're completely fine with it. She's shorter than me and I'm a lot taller than her, and she doesn't really look that old. So there doesn't seem to be a big problem.

 

Do you think there would be a problem with us going out?

[Million.to.1]

Ummm, not really a problem... But you both are in pretty different life stages.

You must be still at school yes?

 

7 years isn't a big gap if you are older... But you are both so young, so the gap will seem a lot more.

[2sunny]

It's illegal where I am.

[Million.to.1]

It's illegal where I am.

 

Illegal? To date? ... or have sex? There is a difference.

[halfcrazed_i]

Well, clearly, you guys are free to do whatever you want... which includes dating.

 

However, it's possibly a bad idea for multiple reasons:

 

1) 14 and 21 is almost like being a century apart -- compared to say, 24 and 31. You guys are in different places in your lives. You have literally just begun high school. And she would be almost done with college (is she?). In terms of life experiences and wisdom, the scales are heavily tipped on her favor. And you may grow to resent that later on.

 

2) Being so young compared to her, wouldn't you feel a little 'disadvantaged' knowing that you would have much less contributions to the relationship?

 

3) And yes, having sex is different from dating. But dating is usually a precursor to that. You don't want to invite that kind of temptation, trust me.

 

Really? Your parents are totally okay with this?

[somedude81]

Uh, why would a 21 year old woman be interested at all in a 14 year old boy?

[MuffMan6969]

She is even old enough to buy you alcohol. That would only add several more charges to her sex crime charges though.

Your parents sound pretty "cool".

[mrs rubble]

I think it's a little bit creepy....I said the same to my son when he was 13 and bought home an 18yo.

[soccerrprp]

Yes.......

 

OMG, people and their poor judgment. Holy crap!

 

1. 12-yr old girl thinks it's okay to date a 14-yr old?????? Jeez.

2. Your parents don't see anything wrong?????? Jeez.

[bubbaganoosh]

If she goes out with a 14 year old boy, just remember when you see her handcuffed and thrown in the back of a police car then you'll have your answer.

 

If your parents are cool with this then they also need to be cuffed an thrown in the back of a police car too because they shouldn't be allowed to raise a child (you) with that kind of mentality.

 

Sorry to be so blunt but you asked and I answered.

[soccerrprp]

Yes.......

 

OMG, people and their poor judgment. Holy crap!

 

1. 12-yr old girl thinks it's okay to date a 14-yr old?????? Jeez.

2. Your parents don't see anything wrong?????? Jeez.

 

Sorry, meant 21-yr old WOMAN.

[biister]

Even if you don't have sex, even kissing and fondling above the clothes is considered a lewd act with a minor, and she will go to jail and be a registered sex offender for the rest of her life. There's nothing "cool" about your parents allowing something like that.

[Woggle]

I have no issue with age difference relationships but this is just sick.

[IndianBabu]

Uh, why would a 21 year old woman be interested at all in a 14 year old boy?

 

Perhaps for the same reason a 20 year old girl would be interested in a 30 year old guy.

[Strength in Healing]

21 with a 14 year old?

 

Is she familiar with something called a Felony 1?

 

Do me a favor and PM me her name real fast.

[somedude81]

Perhaps for the same reason a 20 year old girl would be interested in a 30 year old guy.

 

So you're saying that a 20 year old girl is as mature as a 14 year old?

[David87]

Yes it's weird and illegal to have sex where I live .

[ayala]

My parents are 12 years apart. What matters is not the age. It's the maturity level, priorities, and self control.

 

Just be careful with the law lol and wait until you're of legal age if you want to be physically intimate with her (kissing, fondling, making out, sex, all that stuff)

 

The other option is for her to wait until you're 18 to start dating if she's willing to wait. My dad met my mom when she was 14 and he waited for her to turn 18 and he helped her mature and gave her a life she's happy with. Some places, the age of consent is 16.

[TigerLilly78]

Its not so much the age difference there was 10 years between my mother and father. Its the stage at witch these two have met its kind of bad timing. My advice is stay friends for now until your of legal age if things are meant to be then they will. To be honest im kind of surprised the parents would encourage it "right now" cause lets face it give these two even 5 more years and its not that big of a deal..

[ExpatInItaly]

It would be very strange for a 21-year-old adult to date a 14-year old child.

[ASG]

It would be very strange for a 21-year-old adult to date a 14-year old child.

 

Only a 14 yo is not exactly a child... Might not be an adult, but also not a child, really.

 

On to the topic... yes, it's a bit weird. And possibly illegal, depending on where you live (it's not illegal where I'm from, where the age of consent is indeed 14 - see? Some countries acknowledge that 14 year olds are not children!)

 

Right now, where I am in life, I cannot possibly imagine what a 21 yo could possibly see in a 14yo, but then again, at 15 I was dating people in their 20s all the time. so what do I know?

 

I guess the real question is... what is the age of consent where you live? If it's 18, it might be a bad idea. But then again, doesn't statutory rape have to be reported as a crime? Or is it a public offense? If it's not, someone would need to press charges, and since your parents are fine with it....

[Dallers]

The age gap is not a problem at all as in the UK if you were 16 it would be fine. The problem is simply that if she is fully aware of your age and as she intends to get involved with you 99% of the time sex will follow.

 

That means she feels it is ok to have sex with a minor. I would be questioning why and be very wary of her intentions. It does not matter if it is a man or a women there is normally more to it than meets the eye. Be careful.

[Conners]

WOW.

I regretted an incident a few years ago when I was 19 and hooked up with a 16 year old. (Before you all say I should be in jail, 16 is the age of consent where I live) and he told me he was 17 nearly 18

 

But 21 with a 14 year old is just odd and wrong. I am 22 and I could not think of one reason I would want to hang out with a 14 year old boy, let alone date one.

[iiiii]

In most countries this would be regarded as a sexual relationship between a child and an adult.

 

Sorry, yes, that's weird.

 

The law protects kids from sexual relationships with adults because kids are regarded as too young to make appropriate sexual choices, too likely to be coerced into things they don't want to do, and definitely too young to be parents.

 

If this girl likes you, she'll wait until you're 16 or 18.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I'm the first one to wave my "Age is just a number!" flag all over town especially since I'm 13 years older than my boyfriend but THIS is just wrong.

 

First, the fact that your parents are OK with it doesn't sit well with me at all. My son is 15 and very popular with the girls and if he brought home a 21-22 year old woman, apart from it being ILLEGAL where I live, I would NOT be okay with any of it.

 

Second, there is a HUGE difference between dating someone younger/older when you're barely in your teens or early twenties and when you're solidly in your late twenties and older. In fact, there is a world of difference in terms of maturity alone. Apart from looking like you're around the same age, what on earth could you have in common?

 

The whole thing wreaks of perversion if you ask me and that's coming from a someone who prides herself on being very open-minded and liberal.