johan Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Just by virtue of being a human, what are you entitled to in life, as far as relationships go that is? Is there some kind of injustice at work if you make it far into adulthood without having a marriage? A serious long term relationship? Sex? A date? A kiss? At what point, in case you aren't living the life you thought you would, should shake your fist at the world and declare that you should have been granted more than you have gotten? 3
sillyanswer Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Just by virtue of being a human, what are you entitled to in life, as far as relationships go that is? In the sense I think you mean, entitlement exists if you believe in it. Unfortunately for many believers it fails to deliver.
Natsume21 Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Just by virtue of being a human, what are you entitled to in life, as far as relationships go that is? Is there some kind of injustice at work if you make it far into adulthood without having a marriage? A serious long term relationship? Sex? A date? A kiss? At what point, in case you aren't living the life you thought you would, should shake your fist at the world and declare that you should have been granted more than you have gotten? We are not entitled a relationship, and those in a relationship are not entitled to fringe benefits, especially to women who want a man to spend money on them(that's a society based thing, not truth) or a man must demand sex out of a woman. They are only entitled to love and caring. If your needs aren't being met in one relationship, however, get out of it. Circumstances are the reason why indie bands are still doing small gigs, and artists like Taylor Swift are at the top. It's about being in the right sitch in the right place at the right time. The sooner people realize that life's just as big of a chance game than hard work and perspiration, the more understanding people will be of their strengths and weaknesses. 2
Taramere Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 I think if somebody has made you a promise that you will get X if you do Y, then you are entitled to expect to get what you were promised on completion of your part of the deal. However, sometimes people make promises that they're not in a position to fulfil. "Be a good person and your prince/princess/ideal job will come along." Remember Fight Club? We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. It's such a good summation of angry entitlement. I'm not sure what the writer's intention was with that. I don't know if he was expressing empathy with people who have that angry sense of entitlement, or if he was criticising them. Mainstream Western society has more or less rejected religion now, but we haven't really replaced it with anything that helps people to hold firm against some of life's more destructive temptations. The concept of sin is an old fashioned one now, that makes sophisticated people smile. I'm not a believer in the supernatural, but I do believe there are many wise lessons and warnings about human nature in religious texts. That as those moral guides and codes have lost force, people have steadily become less inclined to take responsibility for going down the wrong pathways in life. But then we see countries where religion has a very strong grip, and we see the other types of harm that can emerge from that. At what point, in case you aren't living the life you thought you would, should shake your fist at the world and declare that you should have been granted more than you have gotten? As soon as the thought strikes you. Then, if you know what's good for you, you pull yourself together and focus on taking responsibility for enjoying and improving on what you have. 6
todreaminblue Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 entitlement.....not fond of the word...... we are given gifts the first one being life........ when we come into this world i believe that its all a design a plan the life we lead and everything has purpose......we given the agency to choose what we want to do with the life we lead......everyone is given that.....if i was going to say i was entitled to anything i would hope that it is an entitlement to make it past a general anesthetic....because i haven't finished living yet, people need me and i want to be there for them......so breath.......i hope i am entitled to just breathe for longer......but i wont know if i am entitled to that gift till after........and thats the way i think its meant to be....expectations and what you think you deserve to have leads to unhappiness......when you dont reach that expectation.......and seeing as i am asking for the biggest gift......of life....i dont think i can ask for much more...seeing i have taken it forgranted.....many times....deb 2
Weezy1973 Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Beyond life, and perhaps freedom (but even that one gets tricky), people are not entitled to anything. Even in the US declaration of independence it says "the pursuit of happiness". In other words people can try to be happy, but are not entitled to happiness itself. 4
carhill Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 From an article on the topic: The Modern Cult of the Ego The Age of Entitlement has turned inflated ego into a cult. (A book on "getting your needs met" or one that validates its readers as "victims" for not getting their needs met, will be an instant best seller.) People perceive themselves to have more rights and "emotional needs" now than ever before in human history. This makes them prone to resentment and anger when the world inevitably frustrates their entitlement demands. The more rights and needs you think you have, the more violated - and entitled to validation/compensation you will feel. What I've noted, aging, is that this topic has less and less significance. I think that's an outgrowth of a lot of time at the 'life isn't fair' trough. Overall though, I personally feel that I'm no more or less entitled to a relationship with anyone else than they are with me, and that includes being married, which I was. Marriage taught a lot about these kinds of behaviors, ego, expectations and realities, even in the face of expressed mutual promises. If anything it reinforced what I already had experienced at the 'life isn't fair' trough. Is there some kind of injustice at work if you make it far into adulthood without having a marriage? Nope. A serious long term relationship? Sex? A date? A kiss? No injustice that I can discern. Human interaction is completely voluntary. At what point, in case you aren't living the life you thought you would, should shake your fist at the world and declare that you should have been granted more than you have gotten? I would suggest before arthritis sets in. 4
littleplanet Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Well OP - I can shake my fist all I like...... But I better be shaking it at myself. As long as the fingers are strong enough to be pulling on the bootstraps, I believe that's how it's supposed to work. All those little tricks we learn along the way - that teach us how to count blessings.....that it could be worse, and for many it definitely is! You can spend a lot of time having arguments with Fate (and she can so easily get distracted and not listen at all.) Which is why we learn how to get ideas, have ambitions, set goals, yearn for a million things if we have the creative imagination for it..... and somewhere along the way - life happens. I'm amazed when I think back - the times when I was so willing to settle for so simple a set of accomplishments......such little things - and wound up astonishing myself too many times to count. I never planned that. It just happened. Did that leave me content and fulfilled? Sometimes. Some things last a lifetime. Some things last 5 minutes. It depends on the things............................................... 2
joystickd Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Remember Fight Club? It's such a good summation of angry entitlement. I'm not sure what the writer's intention was with that. I don't know if he was expressing empathy with people who have that angry sense of entitlement, or if he was criticising them. I don't think it was entitlement but more of dissatisfaction with masculinity and anticonsumerism than entitlement. Really check out what they are saying.
d0nnivain Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 You still have to make an effort. I used to cajole a dear friend into coming out with me by reminding her that she was never going to meet a nice guy sitting in her parent's living room. She finally put herself out there & joined a ski club. She went on trips with that group, then started going to their social events. There she met the man who is now her husband.
Art_Critic Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 In relationships there are no entitlements unless narcissism plays a role and then it is only perceived entitlement. I think we all have boundaries on how we perceive that we are being treated but that isn't an entitlement. In politics it depends on which side of the aisle your are on to which entitlement they feel that people are to supposed to be given. In human entitlement I think we are all entitled to be treated in a dignified or humane manner and hopefully society keeps that entitlement in check. 1
BlueIris Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 I don’t think we’re entitled to anything from others at an interpersonal level. Unless you feel that you’re required to date, kiss, have sex with, have an LTR or marry someone just because he or she wants that from you, there’s no reason to believe anyone is obligated to provide it to you. It wouldn’t make sense that someone owes us something we don’t think we’re obligated to give. Imagine, you get an email notification saying, “XYZ has decided that you have to provide him or her with ____. Do so now.” Silly, but pretty much the crux of it. Most entitled thinking is one way- the entitled believe that other people owe them something that they don’t think they owe to anyone. No, I see no injustice in not getting what you want. We just have to adjust what we thought life was like and what would be handed to us. 1
Recommended Posts