Human Weakness

[foreverbroken]

I will never understand why humans put themselves in harms way by entering a relationship that can potentially prove to be catastrophic. And then they do it again and again and again knowing fully well that if it doesn't work out, they will be in great emotional and sometimes physical pain. What do we get from this? Maybe confidence. Maybe we get stronger after each break up. That still doesn't make the next one any easier. Each relationship leaves you with at least one lesson each time. How many lessons do I need to learn before I find that one human being who loves me as much as I love them? Who loves me endlessly, to the moon and back?

Break ups are hard. They're very hard. First comes the initial shock of the situation, depending on your break up. If you're the one being dumped, then that's even worse. Next you start to ask yourself what have you done or didn't do and why this is happening all the while crying into your pillow for the next week. Then comes the anger. If no reason was given (or it was utterly ridiculous), you get angry. You may send a couple texts to your ex that you'll regret in a couple of days. They make you sound insane maybe, or desperate to try to hold on to something that is long gone. If you stay angry, the anger will consume you. You may get over them faster since it's easier to move on if you hate the person and deem them not worth your time or emotions, but in the long run you are destroying yourself and your outlook on relationships in general like I did. Then you start building walls. Walls so high that if you stood on the Empire State Building, you wouldn't even be halfway up. You tell yourself that this is the only way to protect yourself, and that you will try your hardest to keep your fragile broken heart protected by your towering thick walls. You start shutting people out and not letting anyone new in. They can't even begin to climb your wall, they slip instantly. Your trust has dwindled down into nothing so you are very suspicious of anyone speaking to you. You refuse to be hurt again. All this time, you keep thinking about the what ifs. What if I was more positive? What would have happened if we waited a couple more days before making a decision? What if seeing me would change everything? What if, what if, what if. The what ifs will ruin your life. You think about how you won't be able to touch them anymore, to feel their skin and lips on yours. Maybe no one will ever fill this void. The denial lasts for a while. The "I can't believe it's over" feeling. Later on you come crawling back to sadness instead of anger because you know that people drift apart and these things happen. You see couples on the street kissing and wish they'd all go to hell, even though that was you a week ago. When you do things alone that you used to do together, you can't stop imagining the other person being there. Or what it used to be like. The way he'd laugh and call you by your nickname that he chose. Or the way he shook his head when you were acting silly but in the cutest way possible. The look on his face when you get intimate with him and the way he touches you. He knows all the right ways. He knows how you feel just by glancing at you. He's always there to support you and hold you when you need it most.

But people are not machines. Feelings die, they fall out of love. They cheat and they lie. They get confused, they get scared. One day you're happy, the next you’re single again. Relationships are so unpredictable. Which makes them dangerous. Love is volatile. It's a ticking time bomb set to be obliterated at any given moment.

A lot of your decisions are lead by your heart. Unless you are insanely strong willed in which case congratulations. You move cities for the one you love, you switch jobs, schools, schedules. Every day you're altering your life little by little by being with someone. And what if that someone doesn't work out? Did you really just alter your life that much for it to just end that way? If you hadn't altered your life, would you be in a better place right now? There are some people who cross the entire world to live with the one they love and end up single and no place or money to travel home or wherever they need to go.

What's worse than anger? Hope. Hope will drive you mad. You hope that he will regret it. You hope he will take one long look at you and sweep you back up off your feet and carry you off into the sunset. Unfortunately, that **** is not happening. Hoping is the most self-destructive thing someone can do after a break up.

What if that person was all you had? The only person you can talk to and spend time with? What do you do now? You'll probably reach out to some old friends of yours that you barely talk to and quickly become closer with them while telling them your story and having them tell you "oh honey, it's all his fault. He's a big fat *******" even though deep down you know he is the greatest person you have ever met in your entire life. The generic response is "Don't worry, you'll find someone better. Lots of fish in the sea!". Like I care. I only want that fish. **** everyone else. But that fish didn't want me. Maybe it wanted another one, or maybe it just wanted to be alone for the rest of its life.

What really sucks is, knowing the other person is almost over it and you're still sitting on your bed blubbering like a baby. You get angry because you're confused as to how they're not as hurt as you are, or how they can casually just let it go. It's best not to ask, you definitely won't get the answer you so desperately want. Thinking about all the good times may make you realize that the relationship was quite good and may teach you a valuable lesson, but it will also make you even more upset because you'd want those happy moments to continue happening only with them.

The horror of "we can still be friends, right?" is unfathomable. Who the hell wants to be friends with the person who just tore their heart to little pieces and scattered them absolutely everywhere? Are you crazy? Depending on the relationship, it might take you months, even years to be able to look at them and treat them as a friend without breaking down hysterically or wishing tremendous heartbreak upon their new lover (if you're one of those people). Seeing someone you loved or still love with someone else is a giant punch in the gut, face, and everywhere else you can think of. It's unbearable to witness. It makes you want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Why weren't you enough for him? What does that girl have that you don't? Why did your relationship last less than his did with his psycho ex? Questions upon questions upon questions, with no answers. No solutions, just a bunch of assumptions and what ifs. How many more sleepless nights do you have to endure? How many more nights do you have to spend crying until you can safely go to bed without shedding one tear? I have yet to find out.

The worst way to break up with someone at this stage in our society is over the Internet. That is the most screwed up thing you can do, unless your entire relationship was long distance and you guys really do live on the opposite sides of the world. (And if you do, what the hell are you trying to accomplish?) Breaking up over Skype doesn’t count as ‘in person’. Its over the god damn Internet. Doing it over Skype, Facebook or whatever other social media site there is makes you a coward, no doubt about it. You don’t have the audacity to stand up in front of the person and tell them how it is and leave them? To watch them break down and cry in front of you, or are you scared that they will potentially slap the absolute crap out of you? Then maybe you are too immature to be in a relationship and I’d wait a few years if I were you.

Well hey, at least you can sleep easier by crying yourself to sleep. That’s great.

[FredJones80]

I will never understand why humans put themselves in harms way by entering a relationship that can potentially prove to be catastrophic. And then they do it again and again and again knowing fully well that if it doesn't work out, they will be in great emotional and sometimes physical pain.

 

What do we get from this? Maybe confidence. Maybe we get stronger after each break up. That still doesn't make the next one any easier. Each relationship leaves you with at least one lesson each time. How many lessons do I need to learn before I find that one human being who loves me as much as I love them? Who loves me endlessly, to the moon and back?

 

Break ups are hard. They're very hard. First comes the initial shock of the situation, depending on your break up. If you're the one being dumped, then that's even worse. Next you start to ask yourself what have you done or didn't do and why this is happening all the while crying into your pillow for the next week. Then comes the anger. If no reason was given (or it was utterly ridiculous), you get angry.

 

You may send a couple texts to your ex that you'll regret in a couple of days. They make you sound insane maybe, or desperate to try to hold on to something that is long gone. If you stay angry, the anger will consume you. You may get over them faster since it's easier to move on if you hate the person and deem them not worth your time or emotions, but in the long run you are destroying yourself and your outlook on relationships in general like I did.

 

Then you start building walls. Walls so high that if you stood on the Empire State Building, you wouldn't even be halfway up. You tell yourself that this is the only way to protect yourself, and that you will try your hardest to keep your fragile broken heart protected by your towering thick walls. You start shutting people out and not letting anyone new in. They can't even begin to climb your wall, they slip instantly.

 

Your trust has dwindled down into nothing so you are very suspicious of anyone speaking to you. You refuse to be hurt again. All this time, you keep thinking about the what ifs. What if I was more positive? What would have happened if we waited a couple more days before making a decision? What if seeing me would change everything? What if, what if, what if. The what ifs will ruin your life. You think about how you won't be able to touch them anymore, to feel their skin and lips on yours. Maybe no one will ever fill this void. The denial lasts for a while. The "I can't believe it's over" feeling.

 

Later on you come crawling back to sadness instead of anger because you know that people drift apart and these things happen. You see couples on the street kissing and wish they'd all go to hell, even though that was you a week ago. When you do things alone that you used to do together, you can't stop imagining the other person being there. Or what it used to be like. The way he'd laugh and call you by your nickname that he chose. Or the way he shook his head when you were acting silly but in the cutest way possible.

 

The look on his face when you get intimate with him and the way he touches you. He knows all the right ways. He knows how you feel just by glancing at you. He's always there to support you and hold you when you need it most.

But people are not machines. Feelings die, they fall out of love. They cheat and they lie. They get confused, they get scared. One day you're happy, the next you’re single again. Relationships are so unpredictable. Which makes them dangerous. Love is volatile. It's a ticking time bomb set to be obliterated at any given moment.

 

A lot of your decisions are lead by your heart. Unless you are insanely strong willed in which case congratulations. You move cities for the one you love, you switch jobs, schools, schedules. Every day you're altering your life little by little by being with someone. And what if that someone doesn't work out? Did you really just alter your life that much for it to just end that way? If you hadn't altered your life, would you be in a better place right now?

 

There are some people who cross the entire world to live with the one they love and end up single and no place or money to travel home or wherever they need to go.

 

What's worse than anger? Hope. Hope will drive you mad. You hope that he will regret it. You hope he will take one long look at you and sweep you back up off your feet and carry you off into the sunset. Unfortunately, that **** is not happening. Hoping is the most self-destructive thing someone can do after a break up.

 

What if that person was all you had? The only person you can talk to and spend time with? What do you do now? You'll probably reach out to some old friends of yours that you barely talk to and quickly become closer with them while telling them your story and having them tell you "oh honey, it's all his fault. He's a big fat *******" even though deep down you know he is the greatest person you have ever met in your entire life. The generic response is "Don't worry, you'll find someone better. Lots of fish in the sea!". Like I care. I only want that fish. **** everyone else. But that fish didn't want me. Maybe it wanted another one, or maybe it just wanted to be alone for the rest of its life.

 

What really sucks is, knowing the other person is almost over it and you're still sitting on your bed blubbering like a baby. You get angry because you're confused as to how they're not as hurt as you are, or how they can casually just let it go. It's best not to ask, you definitely won't get the answer you so desperately want. Thinking about all the good times may make you realize that the relationship was quite good and may teach you a valuable lesson, but it will also make you even more upset because you'd want those happy moments to continue happening only with them.

 

The horror of "we can still be friends, right?" is unfathomable. Who the hell wants to be friends with the person who just tore their heart to little pieces and scattered them absolutely everywhere? Are you crazy? Depending on the relationship, it might take you months, even years to be able to look at them and treat them as a friend without breaking down hysterically or wishing tremendous heartbreak upon their new lover (if you're one of those people). Seeing someone you loved or still love with someone else is a giant punch in the gut, face, and everywhere else you can think of. It's unbearable to witness. It makes you want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Why weren't you enough for him? What does that girl have that you don't? Why did your relationship last less than his did with his psycho ex?

 

Questions upon questions upon questions, with no answers. No solutions, just a bunch of assumptions and what ifs. How many more sleepless nights do you have to endure? How many more nights do you have to spend crying until you can safely go to bed without shedding one tear? I have yet to find out.

The worst way to break up with someone at this stage in our society is over the Internet. That is the most screwed up thing you can do, unless your entire relationship was long distance and you guys really do live on the opposite sides of the world. (And if you do, what the hell are you trying to accomplish?) Breaking up over Skype doesn’t count as ‘in person’. Its over the god damn Internet.

 

Doing it over Skype, Facebook or whatever other social media site there is makes you a coward, no doubt about it. You don’t have the audacity to stand up in front of the person and tell them how it is and leave them? To watch them break down and cry in front of you, or are you scared that they will potentially slap the absolute crap out of you? Then maybe you are too immature to be in a relationship and I’d wait a few years if I were you.

Well hey, at least you can sleep easier by crying yourself to sleep. That’s great.

 

Sorry wouldn't of been able to read it without breaking it up a little.

[FredJones80]

Nice post, can relate to a lot of it.

[OnwardandUpward]

Good post and let me tell you that the pain and response is the same, no matter the age

[No Limit]

I don't understand it either. When there's a crazy person involved it's pretty entertaining though.

[RDawg]

Yes it's crazy. The amazing highs and the equally amazing lows. I was so happy and now so sad. It must be quite something when it just works and it lasts and it gets better and you achieve things and raise a family and grow old together and still love each other. Can you blame us from chasing that, irrespective of the risk?

[todreaminblue]

I have moved many times to be with partners interstate moves five kids dogs cats fish...new schools........i dont regret doing that ...i gave it my best shot always.......there are no guarantees with love.......i am no longer with those partners.......i have no regrets........not now and not then....i always give the best of me th best shot that i have in me.....if it doesnt work it is normally not because i havent given enough..........deb