Hope737 Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Ok I'm not a frequent poster on here, but when I have, you guys have always been amazing. I broke up with my first and only girlfriend in January 2013, so well over a year ago now. I knew her for ten years and we were going out for 4 years. Anyway, the break up has hit me really hard as she was the genuine love of my life and it is sad to say that I'm still not over her. I managed a full year of no contact after the break up but it was broken a few months back when she confronted me at work and asked why I was in no contact. Anyway, my main problem has now become alcohol. *It's affecting my health, I've piled on loads of weight and I just simply don't care about a lot of things. I'm not who I used to be. I'm a shell of what I was. I hide my drinking well from family and I've now got a very high tolerance to alcohol so I can drink a lot and not show any signs of being drunk. I just think it's become a problem in my life. I have ZERO motivation to do anything. The only thing that's keeping me going is my job which I love, but that's the only positive in my life. I know I need to wake up and get a grip and move on from my ex, but why? I'm never going to be with her again and she was my second half, she completed me in every way. People say I will find someone else, which for most people is true. But for me, no chance. I will never find anyone as brilliant as her. Anyway, I just feel I needed to get this off my chest so thanks for reading.
FredJones80 Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Maybe try talking to your doctor about your alcohol problems? Might be able to refer you somewhere. Give my love to Manchester.
roe007 Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 wow that is one intense relationship. Well I guess your break up had some reason and it has been well over a year. Moving on is not as easy as it is said but it is not a difficult task once you realize things are over. I can understand the depth of your attachment to her but what can I say she don't bother anymore or care about you I guess. So you have to put things right. Nobody can help you unless you really want to help yourself. Alcoholism is a bad thing it adds to the pain as well so you should sit and think make a plan obviously you have a job which you love. Dedicate more to work and start working out. Exercise would helping venting out anger and it would help you regain confidence. You would have read a lot about loving yourself and stuff right? I don't have to repeat everything because the process of getting back yourself is the same. You have to find new friends socialize I mean just make friends that's all. She is the past you have to forget it I mean if you think she was perfect yes she was when she loved you but not anymore. She broke your heart whatever reason it maybe but you can't undo it. Realize try to move on hold on to your job and try making your life better. yea exercise more and regularly don't be lazy. It is tough initially but you have to find the motivation just try it and see the difference.
elseaacych Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Not a maybe. Do go talk to your doc about your alcohol dependency. It's gotten to a point where you're only hurting yourself, but has the capability to harm others as well. I don't know if where you are at has an Alcoholics Anonymous, but it's a great resource. Also look into break up support groups, or depression support groups if you find you are suffering from depression. Next: your ex is not the love of your life. You know why? Because you guys broke up, and have made no attempts to get back together. That isn't love. She may have been your "everything" when you were together, but now she isn't your "anything". A healthy relationship involves two WHOLE individuals who come together because they work better together as a team. Strong apart, but better together. You were fine ten years ago before you met her. You were more than fine. You were enough. You had lovable qualities. Someone fell in love with you. You fell in love with someone. You loved someone. Great qualities to exhibit. It's a sad, terrible thing that your relationship didn't work out, but you are still fundamentally the same person you were when you first met your ex, if a little battered because you took a massive hit to your self esteem. But it's now on you to deal with it. You are capable of loving, so put your love into someone in your life that is going to actually be there for you. YOU. Take care of yourself and rebuild some self esteem. Build confidence. Ladies love confidence. Put yourself back out there and don't let your life revolve around someone who is not going to love or be part of your life in anyway. You deserve better. You deserve a happy life, but you are only going to get it if you think yourself worthy of having it.
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