ldnstar Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 So heres the background to my story. I met this girl through work, we dont work together but we did some work for her. This is about 2 - 3 months ago. We started chatting via email a bit then she found me on Facebook and made a point of it so i added her. She messaged me first and we started to chat on that for a day or so and then swapped numbers. We were talking everyday, all day via txt and sometimes video Skype of a night. We met up a couple of months ago just as friends during the day, we got on really well and both had a nice time. A day or so after i asked where she wanted to go from here and she said we should just be friends, she moves away in just over a month (to a different country) and she said she didnt want to get to close to avoid any hurt. I was cool with that and we still carried on as normal. Anyway a few weeks later she wants to go out again, so i went. This time shes all over me, kissing me, she made all the moves. Again a day or so laters shes telling me the same thing as before. She then invites me over to hers one night, so i went and stayed, this happened a couple of times. We didnt sleep together (she wanted to then she didnt) but did everything else. After the last time she went all weird again so now ive just backed off completely. We still talk but no where near as much and only via txt, ive not seen her for a couple of weeks now. I've told her from day one that i know shes moving away, i was happy to just carry on seeing her now and again and just let what happens happens. She kept saying that she dont want me to get hurt and get attached but i think it was the other way around. I'm not stupid and can see when someone is interested or not and she most def was despite what she says. Over the pat week shes started txting alot more again and started with the whole, i miss you, love heart stuff. Ive shrugged it off and not played up to it atall. I really miss hanging out with her and having a laugh because we got on so well. I do really like her alot but i'm not going to ask to see her again as ive done that enough and dont know if shes just playing games now or not. Is it the right move to leave it to her or not? i dont want her thinking im not interested anymore when i still am. We dont have long until she leaves. Thoughts.
Assasda Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 The big mistake is that you made, that is still setting you back is asking "where do we go from here?" Putting pressure on her. She really likes you, but she has to be congruent to what she told you before. My advice is to avoid all those needy questions, and to just hang out with her and let it flow until she moves or whatever
Author ldnstar Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 The big mistake is that you made, that is still setting you back is asking "where do we go from here?" Putting pressure on her. She really likes you, but she has to be congruent to what she told you before. My advice is to avoid all those needy questions, and to just hang out with her and let it flow until she moves or whatever Yeah i know i put to much pressure on her, ive not done that since i last saw her and have just gone along with the chat, but i have been holding back a bit. i really like this girl alot and i'll be gutted if i dont get the chance to see her again before she goes.
Gaeta Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 i really like this girl alot and i'll be gutted if i dont get the chance to see her again before she goes. Then stop playing games and tell her you want to see her before she goes away. It doesn't matter if you've put pressure on her or not, she is leaving, there is no next chapter to this story.
Author ldnstar Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 Then stop playing games and tell her you want to see her before she goes away. It doesn't matter if you've put pressure on her or not, she is leaving, there is no next chapter to this story. im not the one playing games.... she gets jealous that i added someone she knows on facebook (this is completely innocent as the woman lives miles away), txt txt txt saying it then a day or so later she tells me how she went out (again) with somebloke at her work and went to her after...... just as friends tho. I do really like her but i feel like shes playing me and just wants the attention, she knows that i want to see her again, i cant keep asking.
Gaeta Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 im not the one playing games.... she gets jealous that i added someone she knows on facebook (this is completely innocent as the woman lives miles away), txt txt txt saying it then a day or so later she tells me how she went out (again) with somebloke at her work and went to her after...... just as friends tho. I do really like her but i feel like shes playing me and just wants the attention, she knows that i want to see her again, i cant keep asking. Yes she is playing games...so you think you should be playing games too? Where do you think that's going to take you? If you want to see her before she leaves tell her. Why does it matter that she's the one coming forward? Like I said there is no next chapter to this story, she is moving away. Who does what first does not matter.
Author ldnstar Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 Yes she is playing games...so you think you should be playing games too? Where do you think that's going to take you? If you want to see her before she leaves tell her. Why does it matter that she's the one coming forward? Like I said there is no next chapter to this story, she is moving away. Who does what first does not matter. your right so ive sent her a message saying i want to see her again, i'll see what i get back but if she says no then thats that and i'll have to just stop talking to her as its a waste of time.
Gaeta Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 your right so ive sent her a message saying i want to see her again, i'll see what i get back but if she says no then thats that and i'll have to just stop talking to her as its a waste of time. That was the best thing to do for yourself, this way no 'what if' are left hanging in the air. If she says no at least you know and there is no more waiting around.
Author ldnstar Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 That was the best thing to do for yourself, this way no 'what if' are left hanging in the air. If she says no at least you know and there is no more waiting around. she said no we are friends, so i said ok, your one the whos talking about being jealous so stop playing games, she just said shes not going to act on it but still proceeded to send 3 messages after, ive not replied to those as i dont talk to any of my mates that much. she is clearly stringing me along so if shes bored one day im there to call on, well it aint happening!
DArtagnan2 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 she said no we are friends, so i said ok, your one the whos talking about being jealous so stop playing games, she just said shes not going to act on it but still proceeded to send 3 messages after, ive not replied to those as i dont talk to any of my mates that much. she is clearly stringing me along so if shes bored one day im there to call on, well it aint happening! exactly right, dude. I am glad you can see it. Dont fall in to the trap of replying to the nastiness.you haven't responded so dont. Ive been dragged in to craziness like this before and the back and forth went on for hours. its exhausting and in the end not worth it.
Author ldnstar Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 exactly right, dude. I am glad you can see it. Dont fall in to the trap of replying to the nastiness.you haven't responded so dont. Ive been dragged in to craziness like this before and the back and forth went on for hours. its exhausting and in the end not worth it. thanks mate, your right it is exhausting, she constantly wants to know what im doing and where i am making it sound like general chat but as soon as theres noise of another female innocent or not she comes on again. lol. now shes making hints at how little time she has left before she moves, it's not even worth my response. Its a shame because we got on really well and it didnt have to be like this, we could have just enjoyed our time together before she leaves and we could have parted happy. i cant see that happening now.....
Author ldnstar Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 I've not had any more messages so maybe she will stop now. I really, really like her and i was sure she liked me back as none of this was my idea. I guess she never did? Oh well i'm going to have to get over it and move on.
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