simplybrill Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 I came out of a relationship 6 months ago, where I was the "sticky" one and the guy wasn't at all. I was lucky if I we went out on a date once a month, and I hardly ever saw the guy and it just about killed me because I loved him so much, and I couldnt figure out for the life of me, why he didnt want to spend time with me. So finally I called it off. So 6 months go by, I do my own thing, live a little, and boom...now Im in this relationship with a super sweet guy, and Im not a "sticky" person anymore. Scarred from the old relationship? Maybe, but honestly, I started a new job and I dont have a lot of free time anymore. We see each other like 2 sometimes 3 times a week. He texts me more than once a day. We're really quiet when we're together. And we're both fine with being quiet, I think. But he's not okay with not seeing me a lot, he really misses me and its really hard for him to be apart. For me, its not so bad for some reason. I really really like him, and we've done the "I love you" thing, hell we do it every time we get to see each other. He spent a lot of time with his ex gf and her family...and that's different with me, I dont have a lot of free time, and we sure as heck dont spend a lot of time with my family. Sometimes its just 2 hours at a time. And he jokes about it like "so do I get to see ya for a whole 15 mins next time??" and I know he's kidding...but it hurts me, because he thinks I dont care, or miss him, but I can't control how much free time I have and that makes me mad-because I wish I had more time! I dont mind seeing him twice a week and its taking a lot of convincing...but there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think a lot of people have the idea that, if you're with someone you have to spend tons of time with them...when in reality...most people who have jobs and are going to school and have lives...dont have great big gobs of free time nowadays. Im all for getting rid of the notion that being with someone 24/7 makes a healthy relationship. Its all about the quality of time spent, not quality.
Barby Posted February 10, 2005 Posted February 10, 2005 But keep in mind how you felt in your past relationship, that is why you ended it...now the shoe is on the other foot so maybe you should try seeing it from his POV (which used to be your POV as well). Obviously he needs to respect the fact that you're busy but maybe all this is happening so you understand more of why what happen, happened in your last relationship?!?!
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