Davybones Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Hi, Long story short my wife was invited to have a dinner at a restaurant with her brother (who was in town for the week). I wasn't invited, which was perfectly fine with me until my wife told me that her brothers girlfriend was also at the dinner. If had it just been between the two of them there would have been no problem, but since his girlfriend was invited I might have been expected to invited to come along to? He didn't even ask if I wanted to come, which I thought was extremely rude (he is a little selfish but 5 years younger than me and my wife tells me growing up he was a selfish...person anyway). So this happened 3 months ago and I let it drop from my mind (you shouldn't hold grudges in life) However we are moving in the summer and my wife wants him to help us move (he will be in the city this summer for work). Frankly I don't know what to do (I didn't tell my wife I felt he insulted me about the dinner). Should I just put on a smile and deal with the guy or tell my wife that we don't need him to help us move? Thank you for reading and any advice would be most appreciated.
GoreSP Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Did you ever think that maybe your wife's brother invited her assuming you would naturally tag along but your wife didn't get the implied part? Like did he specifically say 'you are invited but your husband isn't'? 3
Author Davybones Posted May 24, 2014 Author Posted May 24, 2014 that is a very valid point, but her brother has a history of being extremely selfish (he really took advantage of his sisters kindness in the past until I put a end to it when I married her). No he didn't say im not invited (if he had I wouldn't have minded at all, since I would have respected him for telling me man to man). But from speaking to my wife it seems clear he just assumed I wouldn't be joining us and it was just him, his girlfriend and my wife. Maybe its just because of the way I was raised, but that to me was a major insult.
d0nnivain Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Free help moving is hard to come by. If the BIL is willing to show up & lend muscle to your effort, take it. 2
TXGuy Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Maybe your wife didn't want you to go along. Or maybe the BIL didn't want you along because it is so clear that you resent him. How selfish can this guy be if he is willing to help you and your wife move? That is one of the bigger favors to provide someone.
bubbaganoosh Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 If he's that selfish then don't expect him to help you move. He'll come up with some lame excuse anyhow.
almond Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 You didn't communicate to your wife that you felt insulted at the time, so now, months later, it would be pretty unfair to not allow her brother to help you move. To refuse his offer of help is quite a step, and to do so suddenly and over something that you didn't take the time to clarify months ago would be pretty unreasonable. He is your wife's brother, and this would likely cause some significant drama. You didn't speak to either of them about what happened - it may have simply been a misunderstanding. You didn't take the time to talk it out or try to clear it up, so to now cause him serious offence by refusing to allow him in your home is not a bright idea. You don't want to cause issues amongst family members. Deal with this maturely and openly, or let it go. 1
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