WHOLESALEPACK Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 It truly sucks that as man, you're practically told to be telemarketer. I've been single for a while now since a break-up. I've always been told ''Go out there, sell yourself''. It gets tired after a while. I don't even want to form new friends, already have my selected group of friends I've known for the longest. Right now I'm tired of asking the same questions to new random women. It has gotten to the point that it feels like a script. I just wish things just came out natural with someone known. I truly don't care about forming new friends (I don't even add nor accept everyone on my facebook). I just want to be in a relationship already. I don't feel like talking to everyone. Not sure if other men feel this way too.
carhill Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 In general, relationships grow out of 'talking to everyone', so feeling reticent about socializing, in general, is inhibitive of forming new relationships and particularly intimate ones. Sometimes being alone, in the intimate sense, can be a healthy choice. If/when that energy to 'get out there' returns, it's like dancing; one doesn't forget the steps. IMO, I wouldn't force it. I went through similar feelings after dating a bit during my divorce after my exW and I split up and grew tired of 'the script' so quit and haven't looked back. If life blesses me with that energy again, I'll see the gift for what it is and enjoy it. If not, plenty of life left to live. Good luck!
Potz4prez Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 It truly sucks that as man, you're practically told to be telemarketer. I've been single for a while now since a break-up. I've always been told ''Go out there, sell yourself''. It gets tired after a while. I don't even want to form new friends, already have my selected group of friends I've known for the longest. Right now I'm tired of asking the same questions to new random women. It has gotten to the point that it feels like a script. I just wish things just came out natural with someone known. I truly don't care about forming new friends (I don't even add nor accept everyone on my facebook). I just want to be in a relationship already. I don't feel like talking to everyone. Not sure if other men feel this way too. Take a break from dating. Spend your time doing group activities/sports that interest you. Volunteer. Meeting people isn't tedious if you're all enjoying the same thing. Eventually you may meet someone. And I feel like most men go through this... getting burnt out on the dating scene. I'm right there with you. Just have to keep your head up so you don't miss that one girl that will make it all worth it.
Frank2thepoint Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 I've heard the line "put yourself out there" if you want to meet someone. I've realized that the line is used to mean for me to go to clubs and bars. Not my thing. Sometimes I felt I really wanted to be in a relationship already, just to have some companionship, but luckily that never materialized because I wouldn't want to waste my time with someone that isn't right for me. I realized what I really want is to be in a meaningful relationship with just one woman for a very long time. You can stay single, focus on yourself for the time being. Eventually you will feel a desire again to connect with someone, whether as friendship or romantic interest. Regardless how it comes out about, you still need to at least converse and make a connection with someone in order to have it mature into a romantic relationship.
d0nnivain Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Effective sales people employ a technique called target marketing. Selling to everyone is exhuasting because most people don't want or need what you ar selling. You have to whittle it down to those who are in the market who can afford what you are selling. In the wonderful world of dating, being open by smiling & being friendly to many people does help but you don't have to chat up the whole world. Instead, pick something you are passionate about & do that: sports, volunteering, politics etc. While you are engaged in that activity you will interact with like minded people. This will increase the chances you will find a compatible mate. 1
potsticker Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Now the guy has to go out of his comfort zone to do something for the sole purpose of potentially crossing paths with a woman. marketplace, parking lot, waiting for the dentist, etc. Everyday stuff involves crossing paths with the opposite gender. Ofc most encounters result in less than a "hello", but sometimes things happen or have a chance of happening, and the point is to keep your wits about you in case of such possibilities.
Author WHOLESALEPACK Posted May 25, 2014 Author Posted May 25, 2014 Take a break from dating. Spend your time doing group activities/sports that interest you. Volunteer.I go to the gym sometimes but with my headphones on. I don't stay there for too long though. I'm a college student in my sophomore year. Meeting people isn't tedious if you're all enjoying the same thing. Eventually you may meet someone.Eventually but it's like for now I'm very tired of that. I don't feel like talking to a bunch of strangers. And I feel like most men go through this... getting burnt out on the dating scene. I'm right there with you. Just have to keep your head up so you don't miss that one girl that will make it all worth it.I'm taking a break for the meantime. I guess I'll wait till I get that energy back. It's like now even if there was a cute girl in my class, I wouldn't even notice.
d0nnivain Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 What if the mans hobbies are types that dont have women around? Then what? . Some hobbies will of course have morewomen around then others. But I know women who enjoy lots of"masculine" things: hunting, fishing, auto repair, car racing etc.Personally I love football. Do not fundamentally change yourself. Even engaging with a group that is predominantlypeople of the same gender will open a person's social circle. Those folks willhave siblings or friends. They are people to hang out with & go new placeswith. In those new places you can meet a potential date. For example, I joined a women's businessgroup to expand my entrepreneurial skills. A few women in that group introducedme to their sons & brothers. Another group took me to a different networking meeting whereI met my husband. You never know who knows somebody who might know somebody youmay need to meet.
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