She gets upset when

[MrGuy]

So my girlfriend gets upset at me when i ask her a few questions, such as when she went to bed or if she was messing with her phone. She only gets upset though if i follow up with more questions usually not the first. Does this mean anything? Or am i just being an annoyance? How many questions is too much? Thank you for any replies

[Conners]

Depends if you are accusing her of something?

[MrGuy]

In the past i have accused her of doing things behind my back (which i never had proof of her doing) so before i thought she kept secrets from me which she hasn't as far as I know. So she said this to me "I get upset because you think I'm hiding things or not telling you something"

[Assasda]

Work on your own thing, and being a moe secure guy.

 

Try not to be her dad

[MrGuy]

Good Advice thank you Assasda, anyone else got suggestions?

[Mrin]

Learn how to soften the questions so it doesn't doesn't sound like an interrogation. Eg: instead of: when did you go to bed?

 

Try: "how did you sleep last night?" Or "*yawn* OMG I so needed more sleep last night. How are you feeling?"

 

You might not get the concise quantitative answer immediately but it will be good enough.

 

Also, what's going on? You're not one of those "you shall have no secrets from me" guys are you?

[DArtagnan2]

if she hasn't done anything, why continue asking. You are only going to push her to do something.

 

I would agree to work on your on strength, confidence and being secure.

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes, you're being annoying. Nobody wants to be grilled, particularly when you've never had a reason to. You need to improve your own self-worth, because it's quite obvious you're asking her to find out if she's being shady behind your back.

[d0nnivain]

What time I go to bed, and whether I was on the phone or my computer is nobody's business but mine. I can understand why your GF is upset. You're her BF not her dad. If you can't trust her, break up with her because without trust there is no foundation for a relationship. If you do trust her, why are you acting like you don't?

[MrGuy]

I've been improving i like to think. I'm asking less and less, yet my thoughts are still there in the back of my head but i drop it when I think she's not telling me the truth. I keep telling myself there's no point stressing about it just enjoy your time with her and w/e happens, happens.

[MrGuy]

Gut feeling? I honestly don't know, I think my mind just likes to screw with me and make me believe I'm going to be cheated on. At this moment though I'm just trying to forget about it.

[d0nnivain]

Are your gut feelings generally right or do you think you are possibly being paranoid? If your gut doesn't serve you well, and there is no other evidence, stop listening to your gut.

[MrGuy]

hard to say if they server me well. All i know for sure is there is no evidence and I've been wrong in every turn... i guess that answers my gut feeling doesn't it? lol...

[d0nnivain]

Yes it does. Stop trusting your gut -- it's wrong.

[MrGuy]

Like I said I've been improving i think and i just ignore it and eventually it does go away. I go day by day.

[David87]

Stop asking so many questions .

[DArtagnan2]

No one likes to be grilled, but most don't think they are being grilled unless they have a reason to think they are being grilled.

 

There are better ways to ask about your partners day without making it look like she is being held at Guantanamo bay.

 

I have also never heard anyone say, don't trust your gut. Now your mind or heart, that's a different story because we can manipulate our mind in to believing whatever we want it to believe. Our heart, well that's the part of us that has no sense, just feelings. Acting on only our hearts in a relationship have proven to get many walked on, cheated on, or hurt in general.

 

There's a fine balance we need to find.

 

I never ignore signs or what my gut is telling me. I may tell it to shut up, take any signs I see and make myself believe that my head is making up stories, but in the end, more times than not, you will hear most people saying, "I should have trusted my gut. I knew better." instead of "why did I trust my gut, it was so wrong."

Edited May 28, 2014 by DArtagnan2

[Emilia]

I've always found possessive guys annoying, it's needy.