JBird2001 Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 After living with my girlfriend for 5 years, I’m moving out. She cheated on me last November while I was out of town on business. She couldn’t end her little affair when I got back home, either. A couple of weeks after I got back, I caught her getting into his car at her gym parking lot, undoubtedly on their way to whatever rendezvous they had planned. But I stopped them. It was quite dramatic, but she was caught. Her story about them being just friends and they were just going to Starbucks (a block away) and other excuses were simply unbelievable. I know for a fact that she cheated on me but to this day she would continue to fiercely deny it. After that incident I had moved out for a week, and then came back home, not because I forgave her but because I couldn’t stand staying at my sister’s house any longer! I guess my return implied, in her mind, that all was forgiven and forgotten. But no. I let the issue continue to fester and she gradually reverted back to her insecure, irrational controlling behavior every time I got a phone call or text or anything I did or didn’t do that could be considered remotely suspicious. For the record, I’ve never been unfaithful to her. Finally, the breaking point occurred in February when I told her I didn’t care about this relationship and didn’t want to be in it anymore. She cried and it broke my heart. As unhappy as she’d made me all these years, I never wanted HER to be unhappy. But I was tired of being angry and depressed all the time, and living in a house that never really felt like a home. I stayed at my sister’s house again after that. I went back and forth to my house some nights, but stayed downstairs in the guest room. We never slept in the same bed again since Feb. Eventually, since last month, I’ve been staying at our house every night but sleeping downstairs. I told her a few weeks ago that I found a new place and was moving out. She acted like she understood and seemed OK with it, and that she would live somewhere else. But I don’t think it really hit home. Now that reality is setting in and the moving date is looming, it’s hard for both us. Confounding the issue is the fact that her 18-year daughter, who is a freshman attending a good college, got pregnant and is now moving back. Her mother knows how immature and irresponsible her daughter is but my biggest concern is that my girlfriend is going to end up taking care of the baby while the daughter is likely to go out and get pregnant again. I expressed my extreme disappointment, but is it really my place to express an opinion? She is technically an adult, but in no way ready to be a mother. Now my girlfriend is expecting to move in with me, with her daughter, until her boyfriend moves down here and gets an apartment place for them to raise their baby. Somehow I can’t help feeling that the baby’s father is not 100% committed. I can’t help but feel responsible, even though she’s not my daughter and we were not that close. But, the process of me moving on was already set in motion before this development. The timing couldn’t be worse. I can’t help feeling like a monster, and being responsible. Heartbroken and not ready to be on my own. Second-guessing myself, wondering if keeping my original plan on moving on is the best thing to do, or am I being selfish and vindictive?
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