unagedtiger Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 On online dating. So, how many emails is usually enough to switch from exchanging emails to phone numbers? Does it depend on person/situation? You don't want to never not move to phone, but nor ask for numbers too fast, right? You can never go too slow with ladies? Thanks.
normal person Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 If she messaged you, I've found you can ask for her number in your first message if you're savvy enough. I don't really message girls but if I did, and assuming she was responsive, I'd probably ask in the third or fourth message. Eventually girls get bored. A lot of times they'll just give you their number if you take too long to act. But don't be that guy, she might already start to assume things about you're not direct enough to ask for her number.
MissBee Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 Huh? Yes there is a thing as too slow. For me, online dating is just a means to meet someone, that means I want to move relatively quickly (once I establish some interest and basic compatibility) into phone and then meeting up. I am not into online dating where it is you are actually dating over the internet and spending most of your time having not met but exchanging messages....it can promote so much fantasy and disappointment! That said, for me, I give my number out relatively quickly if we've built up good rapport over the course of our messages. Usually that means the same day/within a few hours if we've been messaging consistently. I like to take that to the phone and hear your voice and see how it translates and after that if it is still all good, then I like to meet soon after, no more than 2 weeks max. 3
soccerrprp Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 On online dating. So, how many emails is usually enough to switch from exchanging emails to phone numbers? Sooner the better. A week of getting to know one another via email or until the next weekend (opp to have a date approaches). Does it depend on person/situation? Of course! You don't want to never not move to phone, but nor ask for numbers too fast, right? When I online dated, I emailed for a few days and when it was clear that there was genuine interest, I'd ask if the lady was interested in meeting. If yes, get the number and talk. Or talk first then ask over the phone. You can never go too slow with ladies? I personally don't believe in spending more than 1-2 weeks of regular communication via email. And that's 2-3 emails on any given day...no marathons. Thanks. My answers in bold.
d0nnivain Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 It depends on the person. I wanted at least 1-2 e-mails before phone but after a while I was done with having the computer between us & wanted to hear a voice. Similarly after 1-2 phone calls I wanted a face to face meeting. The approach I liked best was when the guy said he wanted to change formats & asked for my number but said he'd be OK still e-mailing if I was more comfortable. There's an old adage about sales: the buyer gets to set the pace.
FitChick Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 Ask for her number but if she seems hesitant, offer her your number as well.
ChooseTruth Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 If you want the digits just ask. I think women appreciate initiative. People give all sorts of advice on when to do what...just do what works for you and the girl you are talking to now. My experience is phone numbers usually come pretty easy if you are already messaging. Usually that's because women would rather meet in person quickly to avoid disappointment after talking via phone or internet a long time. These women will often say in their profile, "I don't want to be your penpal" or "I prefer to meet quickly to determine chemistry". So yes, you can *definitely* go too slow. Not all are like that, the girl I'm seeing now stated she'd rather get to know someone better before meeting and we ended up talking on the phone like crazy after two days of IMing. The first date was amazing because we had already established connection, it was really just a matter of whether we had represented ourselves accurately in our pictures. Personally I think I prefer long chats before the date, it makes me feel more sure the date won't suck. You can hit surprises in person that way...but it's not the end of the world. 1
Potz4prez Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 On online dating. So, how many emails is usually enough to switch from exchanging emails to phone numbers? Does it depend on person/situation? You don't want to never not move to phone, but nor ask for numbers too fast, right? You can never go too slow with ladies? Thanks. You're both on a DATING site. It's assumed that the reason you're messaging is to exchange numbers and set up a date. The longer you wait, the more bored the other party will get.
normal person Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 You're not really going to know anything until you meet the person face to face. Chatting online is just to build a base level of comfort. If they like who you are online, they'll probably give you your number sooner rather than later. If they've been doing it for a while, they'll want to give it to you sooner rather than later because they'll know that anything you say online is irrelevant unless you have some sort of in person attraction. 1
Shaun-Dro Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 On online dating. So, how many emails is usually enough to switch from exchanging emails to phone numbers? Does it depend on person/situation? You don't want to never not move to phone, but nor ask for numbers too fast, right? You can never go too slow with ladies? Thanks. Here's a tip: my younger cousin uses a website called Experience Project. There he's connected with several different young women and exchanged numbers with more than a dozen, and has already met 3 and counting, so check it out. The site is more about people sharing experiences and with that it can lead to other things.
carhill Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 IME, I moved to phone whenever I got the sense that the conversation flowed. The only real way to know if there's any potential is to press flesh so all the other stuff just gets one there. Your posting caused me to compare the results where I live now versus where I'm moving to. For same age range and search radius, the results jumped from 4 to 59. I'm fairly enthused! Oh, one caveat on the e-mail to phone thing. One, if you're young and e-mail/text is normal, then that is normal and how to progress to in-person. Two, if phone is impractical, as it was for myself when dating internationally. I did use phone but it was very expensive at the time, less so now, and alternatives like Skype are available. Hence, phone was used to get a firm 'feel' for any sense of mutual interest and to verbally make plans to meet. Worked out fine. Today, having been married, I process women quickly and one or two e-mails/chats will tell me what I need to know. YMMV!
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