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Posted
I'm not denying that but at the same time if there's no response they might take that as a hint to stop reaching out. At the end of the day you never know for sure and that's the only point I'm trying to make.

 

Like Fred said, 99% of the time NC is the way to go but the same thing doesn't apply to every single relationship.

 

She knows how he feels. No reason to talk anymore. NC 11000000 percent.

Posted

I'll give you my perspective based on what I've been through. I had been broken up with my recent ex and we had gotten back together only to be broken up with again.

 

When she broke up with me, I took it as the end and I was preparing to move on. I told her I couldn't be there for her because it hurt too much and that it's best if we don't contact each other. So I went NC. She was angry at me for this, but I didn't care. I had to look after myself. I was hurt beyond belief. A few days afterwards, she texted me "Goodnight". I ignored it. She called a few times a few days after that and I didn't pick up. A week after, during a very emotional moment, I broke down and texted her "Goodbye" -- I broke NC. She then immediately messaged me back with "Don't go! I want you in my life, I love you so much... and my world is nothing without you in it". Something along those lines. I didn't reply. When I was in NC with her, I thought about our relationship, I thought if I really wanted to go back into that. I realised I wasn't entirely happy with some things. But despite that, I loved her and wanted to be with her. So a week after she called, I picked up and we spoke. She thought she would never see or hear from me again. I let her know the things that had made me uncomfortable in our previous relationships, she said she'll take it on board and change. So we ended up getting back together, in less than a month.

 

To her credit, she did put in a lot of effort. However, I was still really hurt from the past relationship with her. Ultimately, the changes she did make caused her to resent me because she thought I was changing her. Then a few months after we got back together, she broke up with me. Again, she wanted to keep in touch with me and be able to contact me. I stumbled a lot this time around and we contacted each other for a few weeks. It got too painful. So I went NC a few days ago and left it at that. I don't have that expectation that she'll come back, nor do I plan on talking or seeing her again. It is what it is. I don't want to know about her life, it'll just cause me more pain. Past few days have sucked but I know it'll get better. It always does.

  • Like 1
Posted
My ex texted me "How are you?".

 

I dont think I'll respond. Dont think I'm ready to talk casually tbh. Because I still have feelings for her and would like to get back together.... Now I'm thinking if I respond well be back together... God dammit.

 

Never thought she talk to me again too.

 

Any words of advice?

 

Yep. The only thing in life that is guaranteed is dying and paying taxes. Anything else is a crap shoot so there it is.

 

If you want to take the chance then be prepared for the worse because it just might happen. Or you can stay sane and not respond.

 

Some choices huh?

  • Like 1
Posted
I'm not denying that but at the same time if there's no response they might take that as a hint to stop reaching out. At the end of the day you never know for sure and that's the only point I'm trying to make.

 

Like Fred said, 99% of the time NC is the way to go but the same thing doesn't apply to every single relationship.

 

But this is a board filled with people who are going to foolishly go all in because of someone like you mentioning that 1 percent. Nothing is guaranteed in life besides death and taxes, but certain things are a heck of a lot more likely than others.

  • Like 1
Posted
I'm not denying that but at the same time if there's no response they might take that as a hint to stop reaching out. At the end of the day you never know for sure and that's the only point I'm trying to make.

 

Like Fred said, 99% of the time NC is the way to go but the same thing doesn't apply to every single relationship.

 

I guess my thinking is this......You have a LOT more to lose by contacting than not. The cons of contacting VERY MUCH outweigh the pros. That 99% to 1% is pretty insane when you think about it. By not contacting, you arent going to scare them off. If you SOMEHOW do, then they were NEVER that invested anyways. Which means it wouldnt have mattered anyways.

 

Not really arguing, just stating some opinions.

  • Like 3
Posted

I think if someone really wants to be with you and they want it that bad enough, nothing would stop them from reaching out. Not just reaching out by shooting a text. Reaching out by going all-in, laying it on the line, really putting yourself out there.

 

It's counter-intuitive. By not contacting, you're more likely to get a better chance at reconciliation. You may worry that you'll fade into obscurity, but if that were to happen, then that's just the way it's worked out. Contacting won't help.

 

If your ex wanted to reconcile, she'll make a grander effort than just a luke warm text. Imagine that there's someone you absolutely want in your life, someone you love so much that you can't see your future without them, wouldn't you fight for them? Wouldn't you do everything you can to show that you want to reconcile? It has to be a resounding display of a want, a desire to reconcile. Anything less is not good enough. Not saying she has to jump through hoops. She just has to say "I want you back, I want a relationship with you and I want to work things out with you. I'm sorry that I hurt you in the past, but I'll do everything I can to show you that I do care about you and that I want you in my life" -- something along those lines. She must understand that you'll be a bit resistant at first because you're hurt. However, if she wants you, she'll understand that and push through that, not just give up.

 

Stay strong. If she wants you back, she'll make it clear.

  • Like 3
Posted
And you'd probably get yourself embroiled into a weird friendzone situation that is ultimately unsatisfying and leaves you further distraught and pissed. That's typically the way that goes down.

 

Indeed! I have found with exes you have to be DIRECT! sarcasm and witty replies often go over their head 0 for example, I have often seen here that a funny and mildly rude way to respond to a breadcrumb is to text back "I'm sorry who is this?" the theory being it will hurt the ex.

 

I did it once and she took it at face value and did not recognise the sarcasm within, and responded back with "haha, so funny you can't remember me! :) we dated a few years ago, and I just wanted to say hi!". she COMPLETELY FAILED TO RECOGNISE THE SARCASM and took my response as a genuine enquiry as to who she was.

 

no, you have to be direct, anything else is just game playing which sinks you to their level

Posted
This "I miss you" text doesnt mean jack s*** either. There are thousands of threads on here where the ex says such things, and it means JUST as much as a "hey whats up" thing. Hell, even my ex told me that as she was out banging other people.

 

Unless they say "I want you back", it means nothing.

 

Yeah, I have had the "I miss you" from a few exes and NOT ONCE EVER did it mean "I want you back".

 

what it meant was either they just wanted to say "hi"/see if I was still hooked/relieve their guilt/satisfy their curiosity as to what I am doing post-break-up/ask for a favour.

 

Not once ever did it mean what I wanted it to mean.

  • Like 1
Posted
As soon as a small convo happens, its back to where it always has been.

 

Thats ALL she and most dumpers want when they send a breadcrumb. they DO want to chat with you, THEY WANT A CONVERSATION THAT IS something like:

 

DUMPER: Hi how have you been?

DUMPEE: Good, and yourself?

DUMPER: Really good, thanks. doing well at work, going to the gym, life is good.

DUMPEE: Yeah, me too. so what's new?

DUMPER: Not much. Hey listen, I feel kind of bad for how we left things between us... I need to know, are things okay between us?

DUMPEE: yeah, it is all good, dont worry about it! Im fine, nice to hear from you by the way!

DUMPER: Yeah, you too! All the best, stay in touch hey!

DUMPEE: yeah you too! bye!

 

That is what they want, it will ease their guilt! I have had a few conversations with dumpers (in my inexperienced days) and they went EXACTLY like that!

 

they just want to ease their guilt!

 

And by the way, when they say "stay in touch" they dont mean "keep talking to me on a regular basis" they mean "maybe say hi every two or three years, send a birthday email or something" - meaningless, absolutely meaningless!

Posted
Lol if I had a dime for every new user who tries and come on here and spout how "every situation is different" and "no one size fits all" situation, I could retire.

 

it's called 'clinging to false hope'. they convince themselves that since SOME DUMPERS HAVE COME CRAWLING BACK then their dumper will.

 

even though in 99.99% of the cases the dumper DOES NOT COME BACK they convince themselves that because one dumper in a million comes back that THEIR DUMPER will be that one in a million.

 

and the nine-hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine OTHER dumpees tell themselves the same thing as well, failing to realise that THE ODDS ARE AGAINST THEM!

 

It is the same reason why people buy lottery tickets even though they have WAY LESS than a one in a million chance of winning - they figure that since someone has to win something, it may as well be them - failing to realise THAT THE OTHER MILLION PEOPLE WHO BUY A TICKET tell themselves the same thing.

Posted

Here's what you do OP. You reply with a short sharp answer: I am fine thanks.

 

 

If she carries on texting then you ask her what she wants from you. As simple as that

 

 

 

She will either ask for you back or only wants a conversation with you. If its the latter tell "I dont have friendships with exes bye".

 

 

But from my own personal experience I wouldn't go back to her if she does want to retry. She has dumped you twice already so her state of mind isn't clear. Its too early.

Posted
Here's what you do OP. You reply with a short sharp answer: I am fine thanks.

 

people here usually advise against that because often the dumper just wants to ease their guilt and as soon as you tell them you are fine their conscience will be cleared and they wont feel a damn thing about hurting you. why give them that?

Posted (edited)
Here's what you do OP. You reply with a short sharp answer: I am fine thanks.

 

 

If she carries on texting then you ask her what she wants from you. As simple as that

 

 

 

She will either ask for you back or only wants a conversation with you. If its the latter tell "I dont have friendships with exes bye".

 

<sarcasm>

 

Oh no you can't do that, just NC all the way! They dumped you, NC NC NC NC!

 

Nothing less than them flying half way around the world and turning up at your doorstep is good enough... even then, close the door and don't speak, NC TO THEIR FACE!

 

</sarcasm>

 

Sorry, in near all real world experiences a dumper and dumpee getting back together in my experience has always been a mutual thing, either after bumping in to each other or having meaningless conversations. Yes it may be in the 0.00001% and no I'm not saying that to give anyone false hope, but yes, this is fact and I've experienced it with real life acquaintances.

 

In fact I've never known an actual situation for a dumper to rock up at someone's house serenading them at the window with a guitar... this isn't the movies. A text message saying "I WANT YOU BACKKKK" is the phone equivalent of the window serenading.

 

In nearly all cases something in the relationship needs fixing or resolving so the dumper isn't 100% sure they want them back unless that can be resolved, expecting someone to send a cast iron "I'M SORRY FOR DUMPING YOU, I WANT YOU BACK NOW" is a ridiculous notion. Why would they want you back so adamantly? They broke up with you for a reason. It would be just stupidity to want someone back. People don't break up by mistake, they break up for a reason.

 

I agree "hi, how are you" isn't more than a breadcrumb but it is more realistic to expect "we need to talk" or "can we see if we can sort something out" but the NC brigade around here accepts nothing less than :-

 

Dumper : "I'M AN IDIOT, I DUMPED YOU BY MISTAKE, I WANT YOU BACK IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, NO QUESTIONS ASKED"

 

Then it gets thrown around "what would you do if you were the dumper, wouldn't you move mountains?" yes of course, but thats because I'm not the bloody dumper, I'm the dumpee, so my view of what I would do is skewed by that view. Most people here ARE the dumpee, you can't expect someone who was dumped and has emotions running high to honestly answer what THEY would do in the dumper's position.

 

Am I going to keep posting after this to justify myself? No. I've said my piece and this will get shot down "just because"

Edited by FredJones80
  • Like 5
Posted
<sarcasm>

 

Oh no you can't do that, just NC all the way! They dumped you, NC NC NC NC!

 

Nothing less than them flying half way around the world and turning up at your doorstep is good enough... even then, close the door and don't speak, NC TO THEIR FACE!

 

</sarcasm>

 

Sorry, in near all real world experiences a dumper and dumpee getting back together in my experience has always been a mutual thing, either after bumping in to each other or having meaningless conversations. Yes it may be in the 0.00001% and no I'm not saying that to give anyone false hope, but yes, this is fact and I've experienced it with real life acquaintances.

 

In fact I've never known an actual situation for a dumper to rock up at someone's house serenading them at the window with a guitar... this isn't the movies. A text message saying "I WANT YOU BACKKKK" is the phone equivalent of the window serenading.

 

In nearly all cases something in the relationship needs fixing or resolving so the dumper isn't 100% sure they want them back unless that can be resolved, expecting someone to send a cast iron "I'M SORRY FOR DUMPING YOU, I WANT YOU BACK NOW" is a ridiculous notion. Why would they want you back so adamantly? They broke up with you for a reason. It would be just stupidity to want someone back. People don't break up by mistake, they break up for a reason.

 

I agree "hi, how are you" isn't more than a breadcrumb but it is more realistic to expect "we need to talk" or "can we see if we can sort something out" but the NC brigade around here accepts nothing less than :-

 

Dumper : "I'M AN IDIOT, I DUMPED YOU BY MISTAKE, I WANT YOU BACK IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, NO QUESTIONS ASKED"

 

Then it gets thrown around "what would you do if you were the dumper, wouldn't you move mountains?" yes of course, but thats because I'm not the bloody dumper, I'm the dumpee, so my view of what I would do is skewed by that view. Most people here ARE the dumpee, you can't expect someone who was dumped and has emotions running high to honestly answer what THEY would do in the dumper's position.

 

Am I going to keep posting after this to justify myself? No. I've said my piece and this will get shot down "just because"

 

you hit the nail on the head as to why the majority of dumpers never come back - they dumped you for a reason, there was something you were doing (smoking, drinking, gambling, whatever) or NOT doing (not enough ambition, etc) that they decided was a dealbreaker for them.

 

this very rarely changes. it is incredibly rare (I have never heard of it) that the dumper would come back, having decided "I used to have a problem with them just working a go-nowhere job, but I am fine with that now! I want them back!"

 

if it was a dealbreaker for them when they dumped you then odds are it is STILL a dealbreaker for them. so ANY contact from the dumper is just them looking to relieve their guilt, get an egoboost, or simply satisfy their curiosity.

 

FINALLY - when my ex dumped me she said there were several 'problems' with me that needed fixing - I had a different viewpoint and I dont see them as problems or needing fixing. so I havent 'worked' on them since she left because I dont see the need to.

 

so if she was to text me saying "I would be willing to give you another chance if you can demonstrate to me how much you have changed since I last spoke to you" she would be sorely disappointed.

  • Like 1
Posted

FINALLY - when my ex dumped me she said there were several 'problems' with me that needed fixing - I had a different viewpoint and I dont see them as problems or needing fixing. so I havent 'worked' on them since she left because I dont see the need to.

 

Sure, that is an area where you aren't prepared to compromise so it is a compatibility issue.

 

If on the other hand you were an alcoholic and your ex told you that was the issue and you could and did solve that as much as it could be solved then that could be worked on.

 

I do agree however that these are rare cases.

Posted
Sure, that is an area where you aren't prepared to compromise so it is a compatibility issue.

 

If on the other hand you were an alcoholic and your ex told you that was the issue and you could and did solve that as much as it could be solved then that could be worked on.

 

I do agree however that these are rare cases.

 

my ex had several problems with me including: she said I lived an unhealthy disgusting lifestyle and needed to be healthy to be with her (I dont believe I am 'unhealthy' or 'disgusting' I am very careful with what I eat, she was just OBSESSED with health foods and saw eating a mars bar once a week as being 'unhealthy') and she said I lacked ambition (I work a job which paid FAR MORE than hers did but since I wasnt making six figures I apparantly lacked ambition).

 

different view points/

  • Like 1
Posted
<sarcasm>

 

Oh no you can't do that, just NC all the way! They dumped you, NC NC NC NC!

 

Nothing less than them flying half way around the world and turning up at your doorstep is good enough... even then, close the door and don't speak, NC TO THEIR FACE!

 

</sarcasm>

 

Sorry, in near all real world experiences a dumper and dumpee getting back together in my experience has always been a mutual thing, either after bumping in to each other or having meaningless conversations. Yes it may be in the 0.00001% and no I'm not saying that to give anyone false hope, but yes, this is fact and I've experienced it with real life acquaintances.

 

In fact I've never known an actual situation for a dumper to rock up at someone's house serenading them at the window with a guitar... this isn't the movies. A text message saying "I WANT YOU BACKKKK" is the phone equivalent of the window serenading.

 

In nearly all cases something in the relationship needs fixing or resolving so the dumper isn't 100% sure they want them back unless that can be resolved, expecting someone to send a cast iron "I'M SORRY FOR DUMPING YOU, I WANT YOU BACK NOW" is a ridiculous notion. Why would they want you back so adamantly? They broke up with you for a reason. It would be just stupidity to want someone back. People don't break up by mistake, they break up for a reason.

 

I agree "hi, how are you" isn't more than a breadcrumb but it is more realistic to expect "we need to talk" or "can we see if we can sort something out" but the NC brigade around here accepts nothing less than :-

 

Dumper : "I'M AN IDIOT, I DUMPED YOU BY MISTAKE, I WANT YOU BACK IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, NO QUESTIONS ASKED"

 

Then it gets thrown around "what would you do if you were the dumper, wouldn't you move mountains?" yes of course, but thats because I'm not the bloody dumper, I'm the dumpee, so my view of what I would do is skewed by that view. Most people here ARE the dumpee, you can't expect someone who was dumped and has emotions running high to honestly answer what THEY would do in the dumper's position.

 

Am I going to keep posting after this to justify myself? No. I've said my piece and this will get shot down "just because"

 

Well, all the experience I have with real-life reconciliations completely contradict what you are saying. So while your rant is cute, it definitely isn't an across-the-board dynamic. My very own sister, who got married two months ago, got married to a guy that dumped her (she went No Contact immediately) and begged and pleaded and went out of his way to convince her that his intentions were genuine nearly a year after. She wanted to respond before, but she didn't trust him. She wanted him to prove that he was more than words, and he did, even when she wasn't giving him the time of day.

 

So no Fred, your "this is the way it is" scenario that you lazily came up with out of some sort of frustration, anger, whatever the heck is going on in your head (you actually threw out the NC brigade insult :rolleyes:) isn't necessarily the way it is. In fact, in every reconciliation situation in my life and in the life of my friends and fmaily the dumper went above and beyond the call of duty to prove their intentions to the dumpee. Yes, sometimes they started with the random "How are yous" or "I miss yous", but when not responded to, they continued and upped the ante. Yes, sometimes there's random "bump ins", but after that, it was all dumper motivated.

 

I don't know why this concept makes you so upset. Is there something wrong that you need to talk about? Are you at a struggling point with No Contact? Usually you are quite measured and rational, but you seem to be on here showing your ass and being indignant for some reason. I mean, it's one thing to disagree, but you really seem to be taking this conversation personally. If there's something you want to discuss, feel free, but this peacocking, in-your-face approach doesn't seem to be your usual style.

Posted

I also have no idea why you chose this particular thread, a thread where the breadcrumb was as generic and thoughtless as they come, to make this stand. Let's end this thread hijack.

Posted
Well, all the experience I have with real-life reconciliations completely contradict what you are saying. So while your rant is cute, it definitely isn't an across-the-board dynamic. My very own sister, who got married two months ago, got married to a guy that dumped her (she went No Contact immediately) and begged and pleaded and went out of his way to convince her that his intentions were genuine nearly a year after. She wanted to respond before, but she didn't trust him. She wanted him to prove that he was more than words, and he did, even when she wasn't giving him the time of day.

 

So no Fred, your "this is the way it is" scenario that you lazily came up with out of some sort of frustration, anger, whatever the heck is going on in your head (you actually threw out the NC brigade insult :rolleyes:) isn't necessarily the way it is. In fact, in every reconciliation situation in my life and in the life of my friends and fmaily the dumper went above and beyond the call of duty to prove their intentions to the dumpee. Yes, sometimes they started with the random "How are yous" or "I miss yous", but when not responded to, they continued and upped the ante. Yes, sometimes there's random "bump ins", but after that, it was all dumper motivated.

 

I don't know why this concept makes you so upset. Is there something wrong that you need to talk about? Are you at a struggling point with No Contact? Usually you are quite measured and rational, but you seem to be on here showing your ass and being indignant for some reason. I mean, it's one thing to disagree, but you really seem to be taking this conversation personally. If there's something you want to discuss, feel free, but this peacocking, in-your-face approach doesn't seem to be your usual style.

 

:rolleyes:

  • Like 1
Posted
Here's what you do OP. You reply with a short sharp answer: I am fine thanks.

 

 

If she carries on texting then you ask her what she wants from you. As simple as that

 

 

 

She will either ask for you back or only wants a conversation with you. If its the latter tell "I dont have friendships with exes bye".

 

 

But from my own personal experience I wouldn't go back to her if she does want to retry. She has dumped you twice already so her state of mind isn't clear. Its too early.

 

I wouldn't text anything back. I think to have to shut it down immediately, and silence communicates that. Staying silent says there is nothing here to mess with. Texting back communicates that the door is open, even just a tiny crack, and you can't move on unless you shut the door.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
<sarcasm>

 

Oh no you can't do that, just NC all the way! They dumped you, NC NC NC NC!

 

Nothing less than them flying half way around the world and turning up at your doorstep is good enough... even then, close the door and don't speak, NC TO THEIR FACE!

 

</sarcasm>

 

Sorry, in near all real world experiences a dumper and dumpee getting back together in my experience has always been a mutual thing, either after bumping in to each other or having meaningless conversations. Yes it may be in the 0.00001% and no I'm not saying that to give anyone false hope, but yes, this is fact and I've experienced it with real life acquaintances.

 

In fact I've never known an actual situation for a dumper to rock up at someone's house serenading them at the window with a guitar... this isn't the movies. A text message saying "I WANT YOU BACKKKK" is the phone equivalent of the window serenading.

 

In nearly all cases something in the relationship needs fixing or resolving so the dumper isn't 100% sure they want them back unless that can be resolved, expecting someone to send a cast iron "I'M SORRY FOR DUMPING YOU, I WANT YOU BACK NOW" is a ridiculous notion. Why would they want you back so adamantly? They broke up with you for a reason. It would be just stupidity to want someone back. People don't break up by mistake, they break up for a reason.

 

I agree "hi, how are you" isn't more than a breadcrumb but it is more realistic to expect "we need to talk" or "can we see if we can sort something out" but the NC brigade around here accepts nothing less than :-

 

Dumper : "I'M AN IDIOT, I DUMPED YOU BY MISTAKE, I WANT YOU BACK IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, NO QUESTIONS ASKED"

 

Then it gets thrown around "what would you do if you were the dumper, wouldn't you move mountains?" yes of course, but thats because I'm not the bloody dumper, I'm the dumpee, so my view of what I would do is skewed by that view. Most people here ARE the dumpee, you can't expect someone who was dumped and has emotions running high to honestly answer what THEY would do in the dumper's position.

 

Am I going to keep posting after this to justify myself? No. I've said my piece and this will get shot down "just because"

 

Lol new users. Always good for a laugh.

 

OP, from the last we talked on here, you seemed to have a grasp of what is going on and what you're going to do. I think your plan of action is right on course. Just ignore it.

Edited by ConfusedHumanBeing
Posted
Lol new users. Always good for a laugh.

 

How I wish I was you.

  • Like 1
Posted

Don't reply, it's a nothing.

 

If they don't have the spine to flat our ask for what they want - then they're not worth having.

Posted

This is not a breadcrumb ....

 

This is what I call a "temperature check" and you reacted exactly as you should.

 

A breadcrumb is what my ex did to me.

 

"I'm sorry I caused you pain, but I'm not coming back to you ... I can't (FYI I'm the dumpee LOL ... and didn't ask him to either)

 

Followed by

"I have weekend plans with a new friend, that don't include all this drama" (this was said several times, notice the friend is androgynous, by now I know they either A) don't exist or B)are a guy and he's trying to make me react with jealousy so he can talk about how I "haven't changed at all" and just assumed it was a female or C) IS an actual female this time and he is telling me about it for the same reason except the end part would say "We're not together anymore"

 

Followed by

"I will be gone all of tomorrow and some of Sunday, you can swing by if you want and have a beer for the road"

In hopes I will either - actually swing by - or reach out mid day Sunday.

 

In the past these things have worked. Pointing out my issues and all the reasons we don't and can't work. Would have gotten a reaction from me. Either apologizing to him for MY faults and pleading with him to understand, OR falling victim to one of my faults and listing all of his flaws and saying things intentionally to hurt him ... so he could later use that as a reason for why he has 10394894 thoughts.

 

Didn't happen this time. And not out of hopes for making him squirm, but because I am genuinely at peace with what we BOTH did and issues we BOTH have - that made it impossible for the relationship to work. And I realize the work I've done on myself has helped make these things clearer, and I realized he hasn't changed at all.

 

A "temperature check" however is what you have.

 

Thats what he does when he isn't worried about where he stands in my life, but it's been long enough since we talked - or I tried to - that he wants to be SURE of where he stands. SO he reaches out to see how quickly and in what manner I'll respond.

 

The breadcrumbs are much bigger - and more aggressive - and play on my abandonment issues.

 

You reacted just as you should.

 

But I reccomend you do some work on yourself and get to the point that while you DO love them, you ALSO know that they did things wrong too, they had something about them that made the relationship not able to work (this goes whether you are the dumper or dumpee) and that IF that thing has not changed than NO you don't want them back .... because if THAT thing has not changed and you're WILLING to take them back ...

 

how much of what you did has really changed?

 

Relationships don't end because of ONE person. So change in ONE person ... will not change if they will in the future.

Posted
How I wish I was you.

 

You will get it in about a year. I was clueless a year ago too.

  • Like 1
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