Mondmellonw Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 I am currently numb, also very stressed out with college. The thing is, my numbness is interfering with my relationships (mostly with my mom, but also with some friends). She constantly tells me how numb I am and how much time has passed since the BU, and how I should feel happier/better by now. I feel (and know) that is my responsibility to improve myself, and that is what I am trying to do, but my current mood (if numbness can be considered a mood...) makes me feel kind of guilty when I try to explain to her that my self esteem is not on its best place and stuff. I think I am being selfish but so far I still don't know how to transform myself into the person I used to be one year ago. Life seems very different now, even when I am better and well focused these days, I still feel very sad each time I wake up. She takes my behavior as if I were exaggerating (even when she never, ever liked my ex) because it's has been 6 months since the break up with him and I'm still depressed. I have always been shy, but this isn't definitely me and how I would like to be. I just don't know how to change it, but I felt like I needed to vent. Note: I exercise everyday, I do my homework, I make music when I can, but I've been really, really numb, I feel like I am emotionally unavailable, and this wasn't me. Thanks for reading, this site has already been truly helpful.
todreaminblue Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 you arent completely numb because you feel sadness on awaking......complete numbness is not a good way to wake up....you have sadness ......i dont know if you continue to be sad all day? do you class lack of motivation to interact and sadness as being numb?...because it isnt actually numbness not to want to interact....its avoidance......so that isnt numbness...deb 2
Author Mondmellonw Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 you arent completely numb because you feel sadness on awaking......complete numbness is not a good way to wake up....you have sadness ......i dont know if you continue to be sad all day? do you class lack of motivation to interact and sadness as being numb?...because it isnt actually numbness not to want to interact....its avoidance......so that isnt numbness...deb Hi, todreaminblue. Yes, I do experience both (lack of motivation to interact with others and sadness/guilt/preoccupation with being numb) Still, I think it is my task to change that but I don't know how and it puts some more pressure on me. Because now it's not only me wanting to feel better again, it's me wanting to be the best I can for the people who loves me.
Itspointless Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) The thing is, my numbness is interfering with my relationships (mostly with my mom [...] She constantly tells me how numb I am and how much time has passed since the BU, and how I should feel happier/better by now. [...] I feel (and know) that is my responsibility to improve myself [...] makes me feel kind of guilty when I try to explain to her that my self esteem is not on its best place and stuff. [...] I think I am being selfish but so far I still don't know how to transform myself into the person I used to be one year ago. So you mom makes you feel guilty because you are depressed and not as cheerful as you used to be. I don't think six months is that long. The grief of my first girlfriend took me ages, I think one-and-a-half year, or something like that. Not all things will magically disappear when we do some activities, some things in life we just have to ride out. It might be an idea to look for professional help though. Edited May 22, 2014 by Itspointless 3
Brutus Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 I know what you feel because it is happening to me too. It just feels like life has slipped away, my friends even tell me I am not the same person anymore, and although career perspectives are ok I couldnt care less, because I am simply unhappy. My hunch is that we should just find something in life to be enthusiast about. Open the windows and breath new air. But in order for this to happen, we have to allow it to happen. 1
jbelle6 Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 I am currently numb, also very stressed out with college. The thing is, my numbness is interfering with my relationships (mostly with my mom, but also with some friends). She constantly tells me how numb I am and how much time has passed since the BU, and how I should feel happier/better by now. I feel (and know) that is my responsibility to improve myself, and that is what I am trying to do, but my current mood (if numbness can be considered a mood...) makes me feel kind of guilty when I try to explain to her that my self esteem is not on its best place and stuff. I think I am being selfish but so far I still don't know how to transform myself into the person I used to be one year ago. Life seems very different now, even when I am better and well focused these days, I still feel very sad each time I wake up. She takes my behavior as if I were exaggerating (even when she never, ever liked my ex) because it's has been 6 months since the break up with him and I'm still depressed. I have always been shy, but this isn't definitely me and how I would like to be. I just don't know how to change it, but I felt like I needed to vent. Note: I exercise everyday, I do my homework, I make music when I can, but I've been really, really numb, I feel like I am emotionally unavailable, and this wasn't me. Thanks for reading, this site has already been truly helpful. I had this feeling after a bad time in my life. I was so numb and didn't care about anything at all. I was just on my couch all day every day zoned out. There is no shame in asking for help if you are having a hard time. I finally went to my Dr. and got on Wellbutrin and at first it made me a bit edgy but after a couple of weeks it was amazing. What a difference! Also made me drop the bit of weight I gained being depressed, you are not hungry on that stuff. BONUS! Just something for you to think about. It can get better. 1
sugarlove Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 If you feel it's interfering with your every day life for more than a month, I'll suggest perhaps finding a professional to talk to. It's really good to talk about your feelings and have someone non-judgemental about your views and help you through it. 3
Author Mondmellonw Posted May 23, 2014 Author Posted May 23, 2014 Thanks all for your answers. I will wait two or three weeks more, and if I don't see any improvements, I will go.
Brutus Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 Do not just passively "wait", try to take some steps to change your attitude. Small one, one after the other, but you need to want it.
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