Dudette Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Hello everyone, My bf and I have been dating for 3 months. We had the exclusivity talk a couple of months ago already. We are in our 30s and 40s. Today I had the brilliant idea of googling his name. I did not expect to find anything but first result of search was his profile on a site called meetme.com He has a picture and his status is single. I could not figure out when is the last time he logged on. I would like your impression on my boyfriend's reply when I told him I had seen his meetme.com profile. I have never ever seen him impatient with me before so his answer/choice of words left me puzzled. He replied : he did not have time for this online dating crap, he doesn't even remember his password and user name and to please not give him any headache with those things he has important things to do. Thank you for your time
regine_phalange Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Hello everyone, My bf and I have been dating for 3 months. We had the exclusivity talk a couple of months ago already. We are in our 30s and 40s. Today I had the brilliant idea of googling his name. I did not expect to find anything but first result of search was his profile on a site called meetme.com He has a picture and his status is single. I could not figure out when is the last time he logged on. I would like your impression on my boyfriend's reply when I told him I had seen his meetme.com profile. I have never ever seen him impatient with me before so his answer/choice of words left me puzzled. He replied : he did not have time for this online dating crap, he doesn't even remember his password and user name and to please not give him any headache with those things he has important things to do. Thank you for your time I don't know. The fact that he got slightly mad would make me suspicious. He could have easily said: "No darling, I don't participate there anymore. But since you mentioned, I will delete it". That's what people do to keep their relationship good and solid. 11
Dallers Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Dating for 3 months and not exclusive?!!! what the hell?! Alarm bells are ringing!
Author Dudette Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 Dating for 3 months and not exclusive?!!! what the hell?! Alarm bells are ringing! You misread. We had the exclusivity talk a couple of months ago.
soccerrprp Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Yeah, would be a little concerned about his defensive response to your question.
Author Dudette Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 I don't know. The fact that he got slightly mad would make me suspicious. He could have easily said: "No darling, I don't participate there anymore. But since you mentioned, I will delete it". That's what people do to keep their relationship good and solid. It's exactly that, I don't like he got on the defensive but lets say I did not use any 'honey' when I told him I saw his profile. He worked all last weekend and last night when we were together he made a suggestion that maybe I was having fun with someone else's while he was at work. I replied I was not that kind of woman. (he was cheated on before) So today when I saw that profile I told him isn't ironic that you suggested I may be cheating when YOU are the one with an online profile!
Dallers Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 You misread. We had the exclusivity talk a couple of months ago. Phew. My bad.
Author Dudette Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 Maybe I've put him on the defensive? I don't think so but maybe you guys would perceive it differently.
MidwestUSA Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Maybe I've put him on the defensive? I don't think so but maybe you guys would perceive it differently. You did, with the 'isn't it ironic' part. What caused you to google his name? He's probably wondering why you're checking up on him, all while he's working a long weekend.
Koopa Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 check the browser history on his computer, or get into his email. see if he reads the emails the website sends.
Author Dudette Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) You did, with the 'isn't it ironic' part. What caused you to google his name? He's probably wondering why you're checking up on him, all while he's working a long weekend. I have done a lot of online dating, had multiple disappointments, now I look out for myself and once a month I check his name on google. And to answer the other poster, no I would not go on his computer and check his history and emails and I would not look in his phone. Edited May 22, 2014 by Dudette 1
Keenly Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Its entirely possible this guy is just tired of having to explain himself to previous girlfriends. I mean now we are going to read his emails? Really? You have no evidence that he is doing anything wrong. Sure the profile exists. I've made dozens of profiles to websites I don't even remember what they are called. If some girl finds those she's going to accuse me of cheating, and I would get annoyed to. Nothing more insulting than a faithful partner being accused of cheating. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 While his curt tone left something to be desired, other than that, I don't see the point of getting upset. If he says he's not still on line & doesn't remember the password, assuming everything else is OK, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt but keep your eyes open. If other things start to not add up, then you have cause for concern. 1
Author Dudette Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 I did not accuse him of cheating. I let him know I saw his profile. Maybe I was a little smartvass in the way I did it but I did not accuse him of anything. I am very respectful of him and our relationship, he can google me and he'll find me nowhere, my FB is limited to family and close friends 72 contacts total, I don't flirt around or keep contact with single men.....and still he fears I may be giving my attention to someone else so this morning when I saw that profile I could not help it and pointed to him that while he sees cheating everywhere he's the one with an active online profile.
Keenly Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 So you didn't nicely ask him about it, you kind of attacked him with it. That's probably why he WS defensive. 1
Author Dudette Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 I agree I could have used more tact. I am noticing it's one of those sites you can access with your FB account so does the explanation of having lost logging info still holds? Also, at month 1 and month 2 I googled his name and none of that appeared even though the profile was created August 2013, so now it would appear because? and it's the very first info of the search.
Million.to.1 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 He seemed pretty defensive, but if you were a smartarse with they way you presented it to him, then it's hardly surprising. Always best to be uber nice and give someone the benefit of the doubt with something like that. I personally, would of quickly set up a fake profile with a picture of a hot chick and sent him a message and see if he replied. Then you would have known for sure what his intentions were. Did you check things on his profile like when he last Logged in? That is sometimes visible.
Million.to.1 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Also, at month 1 and month 2 I googled his name and none of that appeared even though the profile was created August 2013, so now it would appear because? and it's the very first info of the search. That's odd. Looks like he may of reactivated it during that time maybe?
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) I don't think there is anything wrong with Googling people especially if we're investing in them in anyway. I always expect that from someone I meet. You make a good point to look out for yourself. There are indeed countless questionable characters with shady agendas lurking online. It seems only prudent to do what we can to know more about the people we're dating. As far as finding his profile on meetme.com and his defensive response, yeah, red flags and alarms are going off in my head. I'm very familiar with meetme.com. It started out as a myyearbook.com several years ago as a place to meet up with old schoolmates. With the popularity of Facebook and other similar sites, the site owners changed the name to meetme.com basically to widen the appeal and it is now widely known more as a dating site with some friendship added in for good measure. Having said that, I am going to be honest with you and let you know that it also has a reputation for being a place where people go to find online playmates; cyber sex, cam sex, phone sex etc. I didn't realize this naughtier side of the site until I started getting emails that didn't seem very appropriate. After inquiring with several friends I had made on there, I learned of it's darker reputation and therefore was better prepared to handle myself. Now, that is NOT to say this is what your boyfriend did or is still doing BUT I think you need to be aware nonetheless. I think d0nnivan is wise in warning you that if your boyfriend says he's not still online and he doesn't remember the password blah blah blah, assuming everything else is OK, give him the benefit of the doubt. At the same time, without manifesting problems where there might not be, I would keep your eyes open regardless. You're still in the very early stages of your relationship so it could go either way. Good luck. Edited May 22, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle 2
FitChick Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 What idiot uses their real name on a dating website?
Million.to.1 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 What idiot uses their real name on a dating website? Meet-me.com is linked to Facebook, that's why.
Author Dudette Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 It started out as a myyearbook.com several years ago as a place to meet up with old schoolmates. With the popularity of Facebook and other similar sites, the site owners changed the name to meetme.com basically to widen the appeal and it is now widely known more as a dating site with some friendship added in for good measure. Having said that, I am going to be honest with you and let you know that it also has a reputation for being a place where people go to find online playmates; cyber sex, cam sex, phone sex etc. Ouch! thank you for the warning. I don't see any way of verifying when was the last time he accessed that profile. It says on his profile Popularity: 3,990,316 Lunch Money: L$2,076.00 I have no idea what that means.
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) Ouch! thank you for the warning. I don't see any way of verifying when was the last time he accessed that profile. It says on his profile Popularity: 3,990,316 Lunch Money: L$2,076.00 I have no idea what that means. It means he's been very active at some point. Can you see his friend list? When you join, you have the option to make your profile public or private just like FB. If it's private, than you won't get access to anything apart from his pic and name. Meetme.com has a feature whereby you can verify your profile by linking it to one's FB profile. It suppose to provide some level of comfort that the person you're speaking with is real and not fake. Do you know if he has KIK? That was a VERY popular thing to ask for on there. That's usually how connections begin because no one has to reveal their phone numbers. Edited May 22, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle
Author Dudette Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 It means he's been very active at some point. Can you see his friend list? When you join, you have the option to make your profile public or private just like FB. If it's private, than you won't get access to anything apart from his pic and name. Meetme.com has a feature whereby you can verify your profile by linking it to one's FB profile. It suppose to provide some level of comfort that the person you're speaking with is real and not fake. Yes I see 4 friends and I see 'stickers' that some other women put there. I looked at these women's profile, they're half dressed bimbos but no dates anywhere and on anything.
Author Dudette Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 and I guess he did not link his FB profile to this because the picture on there is different then the one on his FB.
Recommended Posts