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What do you think?

stillfiguringitallou

By stillfiguringitallou
in Coping

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stillfiguringitallou Established Member

stillfiguringitallou

Posted
Posted (edited)

Do you think that there are just some people (such as myself) who draw in people who will manipulate them?

 

I say this because someone I consider my best friend - my sister even - and I got into a fight this morning. I was facing my account being over drawn due to having a short paycheck because missing work for the DnC procedure - and had loaned out money to other people that I was expecting to get back and didn't.

 

AND

 

she had been living with me for three months with no job - and only an effort to get one in the last two weeks - and spending every dime she made on side jobs partying - OR - putting gas in the car to get back and forth to her parties.

 

I was angry because I knew I was going to have to put off some bills - and worried that it might impact me in a very negative fashion (car payment and personal loan payment) and that even then I STILL wouldn't have enough to make it through the two weeks - paying my dads gas to get back and forth to dialysis - AND her gas to get back and forth to work - and her cigarettes - and - and - and might I remind you - I'm ONLY 3.5 weeks out from a miscarriage at 10 weeks.

 

And she was liek "Tell me what I can do" and I said "Nothing there is nothing you can do - just go to work and I'll figure this **** out"

 

And I sat down and she says "Do I need to take J* to school -(right after complaining about running late - which she ALWAYS is cause she won't get out of bed. I however can't sleep past her alarm - but she manages to sleep through it)

 

And I said I don't ****ing care right now - just go to work - let me figure this **** out and everything will be okay when you get home - just ****ing go - right now I'm angry and not thinking clearly - GO TO WORK.

 

And she gets in my face and screams three times "How is this MY fault - tell me how this is MY fault - you always blame everyone else - you just need someone to blame!"

 

And I said

 

Oh I don't know ... which one of us has been working their ass off for the last three months - and which of us has been partying?

 

And she got pissed at me - said she was leaving - everyone knows how this goes right.

 

But then - when I took her to work ( I know my way around better) she was just bawling and laying it on me - and how hateful and mean I am - and how it felt like I'd stabbed her in the stomach and how I should learn to just TALK to people instead of bottling it up ... nevermind that I had mentioned this to her EVERY WEEK for TWO months ... that when I told her to come stay here it was to help her get back on her feet - and running around partying every dime she made wasn't going to do that.... and that it took me being just ****TY about it like I was today for her to listen.

 

So do you think there are personalities that just truly have "sucker" written on their foreheads.

 

I mean - I feel like **** cause I hurt her feelings - she was able to make me feel like dirt on someones shoe - for hurting her feelings ... even though it was true ... AND I had asked her to just walk away and she disrespected my boundaries.

 

IDK - I feel like I do so much

 

and maybe I just shouldn't

Edited by stillfiguringitallou
STM206 Established Member

STM206

Posted
Posted
Do you think that there are just some people (such as myself) who draw in people who will manipulate them?

 

I say this because someone I consider my best friend - my sister even - and I got into a fight this morning. I was facing my account being over drawn due to having a short paycheck because missing work for the DnC procedure - and had loaned out money to other people that I was expecting to get back and didn't.

 

AND

 

she had been living with me for three months with no job - and only an effort to get one in the last two weeks - and spending every dime she made on side jobs partying - OR - putting gas in the car to get back and forth to her parties.

 

I was angry because I knew I was going to have to put off some bills - and worried that it might impact me in a very negative fashion (car payment and personal loan payment) and that even then I STILL wouldn't have enough to make it through the two weeks - paying my dads gas to get back and forth to dialysis - AND her gas to get back and forth to work - and her cigarettes - and - and - and might I remind you - I'm ONLY 3.5 weeks out from a miscarriage at 10 weeks.

 

And she was liek "Tell me what I can do" and I said "Nothing there is nothing you can do - just go to work and I'll figure this **** out"

 

And I sat down and she says "Do I need to take J* to school -(right after complaining about running late - which she ALWAYS is cause she won't get out of bed. I however can't sleep past her alarm - but she manages to sleep through it)

 

And I said I don't ****ing care right now - just go to work - let me figure this **** out and everything will be okay when you get home - just ****ing go - right now I'm angry and not thinking clearly - GO TO WORK.

 

And she gets in my face and screams three times "How is this MY fault - tell me how this is MY fault - you always blame everyone else - you just need someone to blame!"

 

And I said

 

Oh I don't know ... which one of us has been working their ass off for the last three months - and which of us has been partying?

 

And she got pissed at me - said she was leaving - everyone knows how this goes right.

 

But then - when I took her to work ( I know my way around better) she was just bawling and laying it on me - and how hateful and mean I am - and how it felt like I'd stabbed her in the stomach and how I should learn to just TALK to people instead of bottling it up ... nevermind that I had mentioned this to her EVERY WEEK for TWO months ... that when I told her to come stay here it was to help her get back on her feet - and running around partying every dime she made wasn't going to do that.... and that it took me being just ****TY about it like I was today for her to listen.

 

So do you think there are personalities that just truly have "sucker" written on their foreheads.

 

I mean - I feel like **** cause I hurt her feelings - she was able to make me feel like dirt on someones shoe - for hurting her feelings ... even though it was true ... AND I had asked her to just walk away and she disrespected my boundaries.

 

IDK - I feel like I do so much

 

and maybe I just shouldn't

 

Don't let people take advantage of your kindness. She needs a reality check. She can't expect you to cater to her every need. Even if she wasn't working, she could make up for it by cleaning the place up, helping you wih errands and cutting back on the partying.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Bumpin in My Trunk Established Member

Bumpin in My Trunk

Posted
Posted

Oh man this is a problem of being too humble. My little brother has this problem. I know this sounds a bit harsh but have you tried being a dick some times? I swear it helps and people respect you

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