jabbles Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 So I would like to give a little background just to sort of set the stage . I am 28 and he is 29. We are both medical professionals. I currently live like 700 miles away and we met on a dating website, I was really just looking to meet some local people, because I am currently planning on trying to relocate there. I was in town a few weeks ago for some interviews. We meet up a few times and hung out in a pretty platonic way, but we got along and I thought he was really down to earth and cool. So....we have sort of been chatting non stop since Ive been home. We both work third shift, and have a decent amount of things to discuss at work, because we both work in the medical field (but different specialties). I am going back up there next week for a second interview, and last week he mentioned planning a camping trip for the weekend and invited me. So, weve become pretty flirty in our talks. He's said a couple times, something to the effect of "you worry me because you make me feel things :P" ect. Ive felt like we were both crushing on each other pretty hard. Weve been sending silly pictures back and forth. He always tells me how cute or beautiful he thinks i am. He's mentioned some qualities he really admires about me.Weve face timed a few times, per his request...and really I was starting to think we sorta both liked each other a lot. The other night we face timed when I had been drinking...which I dont do often, and I think i sorta let on too early how much I liked him. it sort of led to this discussion of him being afraid of something serious, and not thinking he is ready...and since we havent really been talking tons. Its been a few days. He texted me today something like, youre silly. Im really going to miss you even though I never had you anyway. I feel bad because I shouldnt have pushed and put my foot in my mouth. Im really not all that hung up, but I think he is really a good person, and Id like to maybe find out at some point if we might have some real chemistry. Im not trying to push things to fast. Is there anyway I can do damage control here ? Im just trying to stop talking to him and give him some space at the moment... or should I just move on? Im just starting to get to know him, but i think he really has a great set of morals, is a pretty stand up guy, has a good heart and a goofy sense of humor. Im pretty picky...and even if I need to pump the breaks some....I have a good feeling about him.
Assasda Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 The word selecting is so Ambiguous. "The other night we face timed when I had been drinking...which I dont do often, and I think i sorta let on too early how much I liked him." Congratulations on using such diplomatic language, that we cant really tell if you did anything wrong or not 1
halfcrazed_i Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 ^^ Yeah, I actually don't understand what really happened. I wasn't sure what damage she's trying to control. There wasn't anything specified.
Author jabbles Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 ^^ Yeah, I actually don't understand what really happened. I wasn't sure what damage she's trying to control. There wasn't anything specified. So I essentially mentioned that Im not really into the causal dating thing, that I dont really usually invest my time unless I really like the person a lot. I realize that that probably made him feel like a lot of pressure being put on him, especially considering in our actual physical meeting thus far things have been pretty platonic. I mentioned that I have some anxiety issues related to PTSD from a abusive relationship some years ago. It is always an awkward thing to mention dating, but is really something I have to sort of mention at some point, because it terms of physical intimacy it can really make me send some really mixed signals when my nerves are high. Thats never the kind of conversation you want to be having when someone is trying to kiss you and youre shaking like a leaf, or worse nervously laughing.I figured if we were going to go camping perhaps something might happen of that nature, and really I should have just thought things out a lot better than I did before speaking, but I feel like I really put my foot in my mouth, and rushed a good thing before we had the chance to see if there might be something there. He proceeded to then tell me that his last serious relationship was ended by his girlfriend and that his mom passed away shortly after. He said it was really difficult for him, and he is afraid to be in a vulnerable position like that again. That he doesn't know if he really has that all figured out, and doesn't want to be responsible for hurting me. We havent talked a lot since...
Assasda Posted May 23, 2014 Posted May 23, 2014 Yeah you did put pressure on him. You were a bit needy for his validation. And telling someone about a PTSD disorder is never good. If you want to keep him as a friend, dont put so much pressure on him
Author jabbles Posted May 25, 2014 Author Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) so you are you meaning you dont really see me still having a chance to be more than friends with him? :-/ Edited May 25, 2014 by jabbles
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