TT25 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 At what point should you expect to have your boyfriend's phone password? I have been dating mine for nearly a year now and he hasn't offered. Which clearly I think he should have. When we are driving or something and I ask for his phone to use the gps or something, he always puts the password then hands it to me. Not that I would snoop, well maybe, but I jus don't think it should be this big secret. I don't think he is cheating or anything, because we are always together and we hangout with each other's family all the time. But honestly, I don't think it I would be this curious if I had always had the password. Should I ask for it? It this normal? Actually, Never mind about normal. Don't judge me.
somedude81 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Why do you want to know his password? Do you plan on using his phone when he isn't around? 1
shet Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 You want to snoop. He shuts you down. You're annoyed about it. You should never "expect" to have access to everything he has that's private. Nor he to yours. You should consider willingness to let you see a bonus. One that you lack currently. What you hate is not not having access. It's not being able to soothe your suspicions. Having those suspicions is the root of your problem. 4
Assasda Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Yeah, you should never get his password. why would you want it? Youre not his mom
Author TT25 Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 Did I mention that his 10year old brother has his password? So I feel that if the password is open to being shared, then I should be on that list of people who have it. And no, I am not trying to be his mother. Because she does not have the password.
mammasita Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 I demand access to my 13 year old sons phone, not my BF, a grown man. That's insanity. Even if he offered it up, I'm sure I know it actually, I don't need to nor want to know what's on his phone......probably picture of his coworkers taking dumps....ew. Sorry, you're getting judged.
halfcrazed_i Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 There isn't any point in a relationship that a partner 'deserves' to know the other person's phone password. Or that a partner *must* partake of his/her phone password to the other person. It's a privilege, not a right. And it's that person's prerogative to choose whom to give his phone passwords to. 3
d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 if my woman asked for my phone password, shes not my woman anymore. You got trust issues. 1
FitChick Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Bribe his little brother to give you the password. 2
Versacehottie Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 um, never. The fact that you EXPECT to get it at a certain point would be annoying and I would almost rebel against that in itself. Sorry. 3
somedude81 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Did I mention that his 10year old brother has his password? So I feel that if the password is open to being shared, then I should be on that list of people who have it. And no, I am not trying to be his mother. Because she does not have the password. You haven't explained why you want the password.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Me personally, there is no "point". I would never in my life volunteer my passwords to anyone, boyfriend or not. Even when/if I had nothing to hide. Everything in my life is password protected, from my eReader to my laptop and especially my cell phone. I don't ask and I certainly don't tell. There are many things on my devices that are private that have nothing to do with cheating/infidelity. I journal and jot down thoughts I'd rather not be seen by ANYONE. The only time a password should be known to others or asked for is in the case of a minor child and a parent because logic. Otherwise, sorry no. It's none of your business. 4
jbelle6 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Never, I have a child, I'm not babysitting a grown man. 2
MidwestUSA Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 You haven't explained why you want the password. "Not that I would snoop, well maybe......" I think that says it all. 6
todreaminblue Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 i do think is a persons choice when to give you a password to a personal phone.......in all honesty ...i dont have a password ......never needed to have one.............i should maybe because it makes me look childish to not have a password but i havent needed one and i read in another thread about transparency in relationships that are intimate by grumpybutfun....i tend to agree.... ......if a guy is passing the password on a vagina and getting access....i think it should be ok to have the password on their phone or at least get offered access.....because thats a pretty private area to give access too......why not a phone....maybe because he has to password protect other vaginas access codes and texts......i dont know seems a little weird to be sharing bodily fluids and actual internal entry and not passwords fro a year is a fair amount of tiem to pass.......maybe i am weird ....and it has nothing to do with trust issues.......just seems well backwards to me......if there is physical intimacy.... i wouldnt ask for a password most guys i have been with i am the one who they trust to set up their new phone takes em ages to work it out but i do it...but i feel weird after reading some of the responses on here...hang the girl for wanting access to the phone sort of weird.....strange sort of rules i feel i am not modern with..deb 1
johnpatric Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Now the question is why you want the password?? you don't have trust on him or if you feel he is cheating on you?? First of all you tell us why you want the password..??
ExpatInItaly Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 You're not entitled to it. Come on, OP. He is a grown man, not your child. You don't have any right to snoop through his phone, nor should you expect him to offer you his password. If my guy thought he had a right to it, I'd send him walking or at the very least laugh in his face. Sorry.
GemmaUK Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 At no point whatsoever would I expect to e given someone's phone password. I wouldn't have any reason to ask for it either.
Sweetnothing Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Well, at least OP admits she would "maybe" snoop instead of insisting that she just wants to know it just because. I've snooped through previous partners' stuff before, guilty as charged, and you know what? EVERY time I did it I found stuff I didn't like: flirting with other girls, talking to exes in a more than friendly way, one guy was on a dating site the whole time we had been together, conversations with their friends saying mean things about me, etc. I KNOW it's not right and now I just go with my gut - if you ever have the urge to snoop it means deep down you don't trust your partner.
DArtagnan2 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) I never wanted to look at the phone of any gal I was with. But with that said, if she was overly protective over her phone, she wrote a lot of texts while we were on dates together or spending time together, then I would be feeling a bit of an unimportant factor. I may begin to think that the password wasn't just for security purposes but possibly to hide something. I am not saying people shouldn't be able to text or look at their phones, I am one that thinks that people are too in to their phones and don't spend enough face time with each other. Look around anywhere you go, and people are locked on their phones consistently. Even when in big groups, most are looking at their phones. Im one that will put my phone on vibrate or silent and aside if I am spending time with someone I care about or even if I am doing something with friends. It shows they have my attention and that I am respectful of them. I would want to be with someone who would do the same. Edited May 22, 2014 by DArtagnan2 1
Zahara Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 It's never ever crossed my mind until you created this thread. I've never expected it in any of my relationships.
stateofgrace Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Yeah, I'm with everyone else here. At no point in a relationship should you "expect" the other person's password. He has a right to privacy. Just like you do. If you feel the need to give him your password, that's your prerogative. You clearly want the password so you have the choice to snoop. The fact that you don't, bothers you. He's a grown man, he has a right to keep his password from you. He probably isn't even thinking anything of it. When you ask to use his phone for GPS and it's locked, he probably just automatically unlocks it. Not because he doesn't trust you, but because it's his phone and he needs to unlock it for you. Simple as that. I think you're thinking too much into this and you need to let it go. Some people give away their passwords and other numbers away like they're nothing, some others are more careful and don't want the world knowing their personal info. He has a right to keep it that way if that's what he chooses. 1
Omei Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) I dont understand why people need a password to a cell phone unless maybe they have nudes on the phone, im still a oldie in a phone is a phone My friend has an extream unhealthy attachment to her phone a few weeks ago she flipped when I tried to use it to call her bf to come pick her up when she was in trouble, I know for a fact my friend has a pw so she's able to talk and flirt with other men to get rides or borrow money all the while living with her current bf of 4 years its disgraceful. My friend won't even let me touch her cell when we had an emergency if your bf is this attached id say hes got something to hide. Edited May 22, 2014 by Omei 1
stateofgrace Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 (edited) When my boyfriend needs to use my phone, he simply hands it to me so I can unlock it. I don't ask him to, he just does it. Easy as that. I have nothing to hide on my phone, I would give it to him if he asked, but he doesn't ask because he doesn't care and he trusts me. Sooo...yeah. Give him the benefit of the doubt. I dont understand why people need a password to a cell phone unless maybe they have nudes on the phone, im still a oldie in a phone is a phone Also, the only reason I have a password on my phone is because I am notorious for losing it and leaving it places....haha. And yeah, don't want any strangers sifting through my nudes that are meant for my boyfriend! ^_^ Edited May 22, 2014 by stateofgrace
Chocolat Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Since when does being a bf (or gf) or SO or spouse mean that you are no longer entitled to privacy? Just because your bf has a password on his phone it does not follow that he is hiding something from you. And maybe the reason he is willing to share the pw with his little brother and not you is because he knows hi little brother won't snoop. 1
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