Why Relationships Fail and How YOU Can Improve Them

[MarcelSuave]

This is a topic that is not very often discussed and I'd love to go over it in explicit detail, but to save time I will quickly go over a few things to kind of make it easier on those who are currently experiencing a crisis in their current one.

 

BEFORE you get into any relationship it's imperative that you are CRYSTAL CLEAR about what you would like to get out of it.

 

A relationship is a two way street, and I believe that for some, they get into a relationship for ALL THE WRONG REASONS.

 

One of the biggest reasons why relationships fail is due to a LACK OF COMMUNICATION and unrealistic expectations set upon each partner.

 

Example:

A man/woman will enter into a relationship because deep down inside, they're lacking something that should be there. It could be love, happiness, comfort, appreciation, etc...but something is missing and they go out of their way so SEEK what is missing in another person.

 

VERY VERY WRONG!

 

It all STARTS AND ENDS WITH YOU. Only YOU can love yourself, make yourself happy, feel secure in all aspects of your life. NO ONE ELSE can do that for you.

 

Why?

 

If you don't love yourself, how can you expect to love anyone else?

If you're not happy with yourself, how can anyone else make you happy?

 

How can you give to anyone else what you are currently lacking?

 

To resolve this problem, ask yourself these questions.

 

Who am I?

What does a relationship mean to me?

What sort of partner do I want to attract?

What does love look like?

What does it take to FEEL loved?

How can I SHOW love?

What are my core beliefs and values about life?

Where do I see myself in 5 years?

 

For those who are currently in a relationship, you might also want to ask your partner these questions as well. Because it takes two to tango, you might want to see if your relationship is congruent with each other's beliefs. If there is any discrepancy between the two, then IT IS NOT GOING TO WORK OUT. Period.

 

Unfortunately, a lot of couples don't take the time to figure out EXACTLY what it is they want and it usually ends up in tragedy. Don't let this happen to you.

[Quiet Storm]

Yes, I agree that its very important to be compatible. It is always important to know ourselves.

 

I think we change, mature and evolve over time. My answers to those questions would evolve from 18 to 30 to now at 38. We learn more about ourselves over time. We recognize our strengths and weaknesses. I became a mother, and that changed me a lot. I became much more introspective. At 18 I was guided by emotion. I feel much wiser and more self aware now.

 

I have been with my husband almost 23 years. We are not always compatible, but we communicate and compromise. I don't think everything has to exactly match up, but you have to respect the differences. People may change over the course of a long term relationship. The key is being able to weather those changes, and maintain a connection through good times and bad.

[AnneT1985]

Very well said Quiet Storm and I couldn't agree more!

[salparadise]

and I'd love to go over it in explicit detail, but to save time... If there is any discrepancy between the two, then IT IS NOT GOING TO WORK OUT. Period.

 

Well, there's nothing like an air of authority and typing in all caps to rally your subjects, is there Marcel Suave? Is there a reference you can cite or did you conjure up the final solution on your own?

 

I don't think you missed altogether, just that it's not quite as cut and dry as you present it. Sort of like saying it's easy to live forever... just keep breathing.

[M30USA]

Relationships fail for one simple reason: SIN.

[central]

If SIN means "Sexual INcompatibility", I agree!

[hotpotato]

If SIN means "Sexual INcompatibility", I agree!

 

Disagree!

If sex held relationships together, Id be married right now. Sexual compatibility is relatively easy to find.

 

Its harder to find someone who is in touch with what they really want, someone who is compassionate, patient, and caring.

 

Ime the thing most likely to end a relationship is CONTEMPT.

Edited May 22, 2014 by hotpotato