Help interpret emails???

[Tonia2]

Please see my previous thread... my resolve is weakening for NC - is it going to help achieve my aim? for him to see what an idiot he is being??

 

Him to me in response to the one below:

hi gorgeous girl,

 

sorry couldnt reply earlier but needs must at work and the one thing that is

keeping me sane right now is work. sometimes it feels like the only anchor i

have - how sad is that coming from a contractor? i am finding concentration

quite hard though

 

just in case you are wondering what i wrote back to your brother here is a bit..

 

"She is such a sweet loving and trusting person that it feels almost as if I

am betraying her. I think its especially hard for her that there was no big

bust up, but more of a general feeling on my part that things were drifting

and I felt that one of us had to take a positive step for both our sakes."

 

i hear also that you were in touch with XX as i got an email from pete.

amongst other nice things about you he said in his email that he really

liked you and found you to be quite a deep person - which believe me is

praise coming from pete. i think he must be my XX.

 

as i said earlier, although it makes me sad, I will of course observe your

wishes and drop contact (is the odd email or text ok?). i probably think it

is the right thing to do - but I will miss you desperately. perhaps i do

need to sample a dose of loneliness to realise what i am missing - i do hope

so sweetheart. i do yearn stability but most of all clarity in my

relationships and envy people who never really question if they are happy or

not. the 24th sounds good but as you say we can review that nearer the time

- whatever you want to do is fine by me - i just feel awful about this and

want desperately for your broken heart to mend. it will my darling but i am

sure that means nothing to you right now.

 

please try to forgive me for the hurt i am causing you. i do hope one day

we can laugh together again.

 

 

Me to him:

Hi

 

This is incredibly hard for me, but I think I need to cease contact with you for the time being. I am full of conflicting emotions - of course I want to speak to you, but I also want to hold you and sadly you are the wrong person to be comforting me, as you said, at the moment. I am bewildered and hurt by this whole situation, and need some time to lick my wounds and get on with my life. I just don't think I can do that while I am in touch with you all the time.

 

It totally breaks my heart, as I love you very very much. As I said this morning, you have been my confidante, best friend, lover and like family to me these last few years. You have helped me so much in my journey to become a healthy, confident, happy (coffee drinking) individual and I will always be grateful for that. I will also always be hopeful that if you have some time apart from me you might reappraise the situation and realize that we are great together - you are right, we can't go back to how we were, but I had always hoped that once we were out of the intense situation in the flat, you would be a bit happier and would welcome me into your life properly. It has been pretty painful trying to drive the relationship forward, and I am sure that in time I will feel relieved that I don't have to any more. I know that you can have a tendency to shut down and not think about things that are hard, and I would ask that you don't do that and that you do think about our situation and what you want from it in the future, although I can't promise anything.

 

Can you keep XX date free for the time being, as I would like to revisit how I am feeling then, and see if we can make a fun night of it? I hope that isn't asking too much. If you have reconsidered anything, then I am, of course, always ready to talk. I hope you are OK in the meantime. You really do deserve to be happy. By the way, I am away at the weekend, and XX has gone, so you can get anything you want any time. I won't be back until Monday.

 

With all my love

[Tonia2]

seriously... would love some help... i'm struggling here