Broke up with ex but she still wants to do stuff with others as well as me....

[verschoor]

Since I broke up with my gf 3 weeks ago I've seen her maybe 3-4 times. The last two times I've been with her we were still doing the normal relationshio stuff we did when we were together. In a way I don't mind this, but it also bothers me.

1) Its messing with my emotions and not allowing me to get over things and 2) We talked about not being commited

and I brought up that it bothered me that if she were with her ex (her best friend) stuff may happen. Were not offcial so I mean if she wants to go out with someone shes gonna, or if shes with her ex stuff may happen, but she also still wants to do that relationship stuff with me. I just can't be in that limbo stage. I can't do that.

I asked her if she really felt that may happen I would want to know so that we stop because I don't want myself getting hurt or whatever.

I know we're not dating anymore so it doesn't really matter but I dunno... am I wrong for thinking this way?

I don't mind doing the normal relationship stuff when Im with her, but not if she's doing it with every other guy she hangs out with, mostly her other ex (Her best friend).

Were not offcial, and I know sometime in the future she's gonna find some other guy so it's gonna happen. I know she wouldn't even tell me if she did stuff with her ex or another guy because she knows how it would make me feel.

I don't want to screw up my emotions any more then they have been going threw this breakup. Any of you ever been in this situation? Any advice? Thanks in advance.

I just can't go throught knowing I see her one night holding her hand, and tomorrow she may be watching a movie at her ex's making out with the guy but to her it would be ok because were not offcial. That's the way she thinks right now so that's why I dunno if I can do this. This probably sounds pretty messed up right? sry if it doesn't make total sense..

 

 

[Zephyar Kai]

IT HURTZ

LOTS AND LOTS

they often say it is shock not the accident that kills

be strong

[Groovy]

I think what your saying makes total sense! You would only be O.K hanging out as friends, letting her go to any guy she wanted if you didn't have feelings for her. But obviously you cared about her, and sometimes people you date you always will care about...even if mutually you split due to differences. Feelings don't magically appear and reappear when we want, though it would be nice. Usually the feelings are complicated and confusing even if we are the ones who broke it off.

 

I think telling her how you feel is a good thing and it had to be done. Watch out for yourself. If she doesn't get the hint I would make excuses to pass up invitations because though you want to be with her, she cannot be there in ways you want. The limbo state sucks the most so bail out buddy! And if in a few weeks you think you are ready to be around her then do so. Feel better

[verschoor]

The limbo stage thing just screws with my emotions. She's saying when I’m with you I want to cuddle but then if I’m with guy b I want to cuddle with him. She said she doesn’t even mind if I see others but this whole limbo stage just doesn’t work for me. Of course I still have a huge amount of feelings for her, we dating for 10 months but I just can't be with her one night and know the next night she's going to want to cuddle with say her ex because were not official. That’s just me, I don’t know how others feel but that just messes your mind right up. Your emotions go nuts because your not sure what stage your at, where the other persons feelings are, or if your making progress to work through the things that made it end in the first place.

I guess this whole limbo stages bothers me so much because your mind thinks if they hang out with others because were not official what if they develop feelings for that person. Its better or at least I think if it’s totally cut off and you both agree to just be friends, that way it doesn't matter so much if they see others. no?