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What the hell happened???? she playing hard to get or just not interested?

CaliCollegeGuy94

By CaliCollegeGuy94
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CaliCollegeGuy94 New Member

CaliCollegeGuy94

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I went on a first date with this girl i know on friday. Things went great, we really connected. We held hands and she was making like future plans and saying stuff like "we should both go here sometime" or "we should both go there sometime". Anyway it ended with a LONG hug and a kiss on the cheek (she initiated both). Then she texted me half an hour later telling me she had a lovely night and had lots of fun and that she wanted to pay next time. We then exchanged a couple of flirty messages where she said i was classy and smooth and delightful and stuff.

 

Anyway, i texted her on Monday asking if she would want to go to one of the places she suggested we go (which she suggested during the 1st date) this saturday.. and she didn't respond. I saw her in my lecture the next day and she said she got my message but forgot to reply and said she might be able to if she can get off work, so i said OK. then before we left i told her to let me know about Saturday and she said she'll try and get someone to cover her shift.

 

So yeah, do you think she's not interested anymore? I have no idea why the sudden change, she genuinely enjoyed the first date alot, and she showed all the signs of interest.

 

Anyway should i send her another text on Saturday morning asking her if she's still good for catching up that night? or would that be too clingy?

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starrynightz45 Established Member

starrynightz45

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I think you should still give it some time. Also, she might be feeling like YOU aren't too interested. She's the one who texted you after the date, and then you didn't ask for another date until Monday. So, she's probably pulling back a little to gauge your interest. I'd still have hope if I were you bc I don't think she lost interest. BUt maybe next time don't wait so long for contact.

  • Like 1
athleticguy95 New Member

athleticguy95

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at first, i'd say she would still be interested because of the way the date went and the stuff she did, i mean if she didn't like you, she wouldn't give you a long hug and kiss you on the cheek and then flirt with you on text after thanking you, that much is obvious.

 

But then how she didn't reply to your text asking her for a 2nd date and how she's saying that she'll 'try' and get someone to cover her shift when you asked her for a second date is contradictory to her liking you. I'm guessing she got off work to go out on the first date with you, yeah? i bet getting off work that time was a piece of cake and a no brainer haha

 

Honestly i feel for you, no idea what's going on with that girl. Although i don't see what could have happened for her to change her feelings towards you so suddenly, so it's possible she's still interested. i dunno, girls are complicated.

Edited by athleticguy95
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CaliCollegeGuy94 New Member

CaliCollegeGuy94

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alright, how long should i wait? i asked her for saturday, so should i just go with the mindset that that's going to happen?? or should i text her to remind her on saturday or something? i really thought she was into me, we both shared food and really did have a great first date early dinner at this cafe.

thatguy9555 New Member

thatguy9555

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Okay i'll tell you this.

 

If a girl

 

- shares her food with me

- plans future dates

- lets me hold her hand

- gives me a long hug at the end

- kisses me on the cheek

- texts me thanking me for a great night, and then flirts

- states that she'll pay for the next one (implying that there should be a next one)

 

then i would without a doubt say, she's DEFINITELY interested.

 

However, her sudden change is really really weird. I would have expected her to reply to your text with a yes. I most definitely wouldn't have thought she would have ignored it. Then she's saying that she'll try to get someone to cover doesn't sound completely solid.

 

so i have no idea, it seemed like she genuinely liked you. no idea how that could change within days...

 

maybe she's afraid of falling for you? or thinks she's coming on too strong? or maybe she heard a rumour about you? i honestly have no idea. look, if she wasn't interested in the first place, she wouldn't have done all those things that you mentioned.

  • Like 1
soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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If a girl

 

- shares her food with me

- plans future dates

- lets me hold her hand

- gives me a long hug at the end

- kisses me on the cheek

- texts me thanking me for a great night, and then flirts

- states that she'll pay for the next one (implying that there should be a next one)

 

then i would without a doubt say, she's DEFINITELY interested.

 

 

Ha ha...never experienced this, but on LS long enough and realize that these are feel-good events, but NO guarantee of anything genuine until you actually have a second date and beyond. :)

 

Don't assume you are on for Saturday. Text/call and ask her about Saturday a couple of days before. Let her then make the next contact confirming or not. If not, then you know that she's not that interested in you.

 

BTW, I don't buy that she forgot to answer your text early on. More like, she was not certain about it for some reason and decided not to answer at that time.

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thatguy9555 New Member

thatguy9555

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Ha ha...never experienced this, but on LS long enough and realize that these are feel-good events, but NO guarantee of anything genuine until you actually have a second date and beyond. :)

 

Ehh i'd think that those are pretty clear indicators that she enjoyed your company and would like a 2nd date? i mean if she wasn't really into him, she wouldn't really share her food with him, let alone let him hold her hand or talk about other places where they could both go together, and then initiate a goodnight kiss on the cheek with him...

 

BTW, I don't buy that she forgot to answer your text early on. More like, she was not certain about it for some reason and decided not to answer at that time.

 

Definitely agree with this. She didn't 'forget' to reply.

Marks Established Member

Marks

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I'm going to guess OP is around 20 years old? If so, I'll say that in my experience, girls around that age tend to be very fickle. Their attitudes can change at the drop of a hat due to any number of reasons...ranging from stress about exams to another guy she likes popping up on her radar.

 

It's really hard to say what's up...she might've seemed sweet and having fun on your date because she was in a moment where she was focusing on you, but now she might be preoccupied with something else, so you've been pushed back in her mind. She might also only be interested in casual dating for all we know, so she might not feel the need to go out again just yet.

 

Ha ha...never experienced this, but on LS long enough and realize that these are feel-good events, but NO guarantee of anything genuine until you actually have a second date and beyond. :)

 

I agree, no guarantee of anything. She might have just been having fun and filling her need for some romance.

stateofgrace Member

stateofgrace

Posted
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You need to relax bud. She sounds like she likes you, or at least had a good time. Clearly you guys are students, she has a job, so she's probably pretty busy. She told you she'd see if someone could take her shift, so take that as it is. Text her (better yet CALL her) tomorrow or Friday and ask if she is up for doing whatever it is you want to do. If she didn't get someone to take her shift, don't take that as she's not interested. Say "okay maybe another time, is there any days that work better for you?" and gauge what she says at that point.

 

Side note: sometimes good first dates don't turn into second ones. That's all a part of dating. If that's the case, take it in stride and move onto the next. Don't dwell on it.

Koopa Established Member

Koopa

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Sounds like a flaky girl to me

  • Like 1
HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

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I think the best thing you could do is back off. If you call or text to remind her of something she is fully aware of, you will seem desperate. You've done all you can do regarding this without looking like a complete chump. The ball is in her court let her get back to you. Besides if she's this fickle save yourself the heartache.

athleticguy95 New Member

athleticguy95

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Don't text her. You've already reminded her of saturday night when you saw her. She's still got that text on her phone too. Make her come to you, she should be courteous and send you a text saying she can\cant make it. If she doesn't then she's obviously a flake and is hinting you to back off.

 

But if you realllllyyy want to text her, do it either friday night or saturday morning. If she doesnt reply/cancels and doesnt offer to reschedule, then forget about her. But if she tells you that she is fine, then woooo! Lucky you.

 

If she was really keen on hanging out with you, she wouldnt have 'forgotten' to reply to your text IMO.

  • 2 weeks later...
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CaliCollegeGuy94 New Member

CaliCollegeGuy94

Posted
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okay an update:

 

I did end up texting her on that friday seeing if she was still cool for it, but she didn't end up responding....

 

Anyway like 5 days ago on wednesday, i broke my phone. I got it fixed on saturday and check my messages, and there's a missed call with a message left by her (she called either thursday or friday), where she said she had some bad luck with her car after being with her sister. So i sent her a text asking what happened and apologizing for my phone being broken, and i call her. She didn't pick up the call and hasn't responded to my text (been 3 days since ive texted) so idk wtf is going on. Why would she call me anyway? when she could call her parents or girlfriends and other friends, and after she was ignoring/not responding to my texts.

jbelle6 Established Member

jbelle6

Posted
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I would not have acted like that on a first date if I didn't like the guy.

But the behavior after, it sounds to me like someone else sort of popped up.

Why she doesn't come right out and tell you? At that age I hated confrontation and would avoid like she is. Other reason might be that she wanted you to hang around a bit till she decided on the other guy for sure.

 

I wouldn't waste any more time on this one.

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