Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 What are some of peoples ideas about texting? There was this one guy who asked me to his girlfriend through a text. Very off putting, as he'd only had been texting me a day and a half, and he'd only knew me a day and a half. I didn't go for this guy but, I'm confused, have people forgotten a simple phone call? Texting feels like a veil. What are peoples views about it?
David87 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 People tend to be lazy these days that's why it's easy for some to send a simple text rather than to call you.
starrynightz45 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I love texting. It's convenient, it's quick, and it makes it easy to stay in contact on the go. I like being able to text my boyfriend. At the same time, sometimes people forget common sense. Some things are meant to be discussed on the phone or in person. Such as asking someone about an exclusive relationship. As long as people use common sense, I think it's a good thing.
halfcrazed_i Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I don't mind texting -- but I try to keep it down to logistical planning (ie. where to meet, what time is dinner, etc), or down to random "how are you's" and "be safe on your way home" kind of stuff. But when I can spare the time, I'd rather call him and have an actual conversation. Especially when I have to discuss something important with him -- that I can't take the chance of getting misunderstood. 1
johnpatric Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Well every people have their different thinking point of view so some are don't like texting and some are like, But for me texting is good way for communication because of that you can say some things that you can't say it face to face to your partner so I think it is a good way for communication and nothing wrong with that..
turt Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I used to call but 90% of the time, no one will answer so I gave up. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I suspect the answers you'll get on this thread will depend on the age of the posters. Men and women in their twenties and maybe in their very early thirties might not see texting as a negative thing when it comes to dating. Mainly because it's such a HUGE part of their lives and how they communicate. For those of us over 35, I think it's safe to say that texting as it relates to dating seems to be more of a hindrance than a benefit. Having said that, I'm not opposed to texting ever BUT there is definitely a good time when and where it is more appropriate than others. When it comes to dating and trying to make that connection with a love interest, texting just doesn't cut it particularly because there is such a lack of emotion that goes missing with texting. I understand that texting is quick and easy and it helps give courage to those that might otherwise struggle with it BUTat the end of the day, if you want something to happen you WILL eventually HAVE to MEET. Which means, you will have to T.A.L.K. I mean, do you plan to text across the table to each other on your first date? I hope not. I think men and women in their twenties dating men and women in their twenties might not have much issue with the texting thing but those of us older, yeah, it's kind of a deal breaker in my opinion.
Sweetnothing Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I hate it cos unless you're totally uninterested in the person it'll make you feel crazy! You can never tell if the person is busy when they're not replying to you or if they're ignoring you or if they're playing games or what the story is. The guy I'm seeing now will initiate texting pretty much everyday but then takes FOREVER to reply sometimes! I hate to be that girl who needs constant reassurance and I've never brought it up to him but it bothers me. We're both in our 20s and just like everybody else have our phones on us at all times. I feel like it shouldn't take 5+ hours to reply.
stateofgrace Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I've stressed so much over texting, it's annoying!!! I almost wish I lived in a simpler time where I didn't have to worry about such a stupid form of communication, especially while dating!! I know in the back of my mind that I shouldn't base anything about a relationship on texting, but it's hard sometimes! I agree, what ever happened to the phone call??? It's so easy for a text to be taken the wrong way. And they're so impersonal!
BlueIris Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) I suspect the answers you'll get on this thread will depend on the age of the posters. Men and women in their twenties and maybe in their very early thirties might not see texting as a negative thing when it comes to dating. Mainly because it's such a HUGE part of their lives and how they communicate. For those of us over 35, I think it's safe to say that texting as it relates to dating seems to be more of a hindrance than a benefit. Having said that, I'm not opposed to texting ever BUT there is definitely a good time when and where it is more appropriate than others. When it comes to dating and trying to make that connection with a love interest, texting just doesn't cut it particularly because there is such a lack of emotion that goes missing with texting. I understand that texting is quick and easy and it helps give courage to those that might otherwise struggle with it BUTat the end of the day, if you want something to happen you WILL eventually HAVE to MEET. Which means, you will have to T.A.L.K. I mean, do you plan to text across the table to each other on your first date? I hope not. I think men and women in their twenties dating men and women in their twenties might not have much issue with the texting thing but those of us older, yeah, it's kind of a deal breaker in my opinion. Exactly. For me (age 54), texting as a primary or sole method of communication fails to establish a relationship. Yeah, yeah, it’s easy, low effort. The men I’ve dated who communicate primarily or solely by text just never connected and even though they weren’t offensive or mean people (though they might have been- who's to know?), they also weren’t interesting or interested in getting to know each other. I would text them to see if I could call them and they'd get all flustered about setting a time to talk. One told me at the end of a phone conversation that he was so relieved that I hadn't called to break up with him. Texting feels avoidant to me. Yes! to what Sweetnothing said- it says to me, "totally uninterested" or "not worth the time or effort." Good to know. Edited May 21, 2014 by BlueIris 1
Potz4prez Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I hate it cos unless you're totally uninterested in the person it'll make you feel crazy! You can never tell if the person is busy when they're not replying to you or if they're ignoring you or if they're playing games or what the story is. The guy I'm seeing now will initiate texting pretty much everyday but then takes FOREVER to reply sometimes! I hate to be that girl who needs constant reassurance and I've never brought it up to him but it bothers me. We're both in our 20s and just like everybody else have our phones on us at all times. I feel like it shouldn't take 5+ hours to reply. With people like that I insist on calling for anything other than "when and where" texts. Cuts down on the "what ifs."
mammasita Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I just turned 39 and I CANNOT stand talking on the phone. I prefer to text. Yes like the OP, I can understand and would also be put off if someone asked me to be their GF or proposed over text because that's just wrong, but otherwise, it's my preferred form of communication. I'm like forever 21 in my mind but continue to have birthdays. I hate it . I really wish my mom would text me, she calls me and gets mad that I don't answer ......I immediately email her
ASG Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I'm all for texting. I used to have really bad anxiety when I had to call people. I would dial the number and hang up about 6 times and rehearse what I was going to say when someone picked up (before cell phones). It was horrible! I'm still a bit like that, to an extent, so texting is just safe and easy. But I do agree with some other posters, that it can make you go a bit crazy. The other day, the guy I'm seeing didn't reply to a text, which had never happened before. I was absolutely freaking out. I didn't let him know that, but oh my, I was not in a good place. I ended up texting again after a few hours and he replied and all seemed fine, but I sensed a bit of distance in his texts... Might be reading to much into it. But I got that feeling. So... yeah... I like them, they're convenient. But at the same time, they are not the ideal form of communication.
WeirdChick Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Texting is great. But I think in the early stages of dating calling is important, especially if its about meaningful things.
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I just turned 39 and I CANNOT stand talking on the phone. I prefer to text. Yes like the OP, I can understand and would also be put off if someone asked me to be their GF or proposed over text because that's just wrong, but otherwise, it's my preferred form of communication. I'm like forever 21 in my mind but continue to have birthdays. I hate it . I really wish my mom would text me, she calls me and gets mad that I don't answer ......I immediately email her There is a BIG difference between texting your friends or mom or colleagues and another thing if you're establishing a relationship. I too dislike talking on the phone for long periods of time with just about anyone including my mom (sorry mom!). I would much prefer texting OR better yet, let's meet for coffee or a drink and talk it out face to face. However, when it comes to dating specifically, when I'm trying to get to get to know someone better, no thank you. Having said that, I think texting can and does work fine in relationships that are already established, where time and energy has been invested and where trust and commitment are alive and well. Anything outside of that, pick up the bloody phone and make/take that call at least ONCE and have that conversation already! 1
soccerrprp Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 What are some of peoples ideas about texting? There was this one guy who asked me to his girlfriend through a text. Very off putting, as he'd only had been texting me a day and a half, and he'd only knew me a day and a half. I didn't go for this guy but, I'm confused, have people forgotten a simple phone call? Texting feels like a veil. What are peoples views about it? It has it's uses. I have not been negatively affected by it's use other than a couple of misunderstandings. But, over all, when used appropriately, not a hindrance to dating and more of a convenience. I never have asked a woman out on a date or asked her to be my SO by using it. Those events are always via phone or in person.
HappyLove Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I think texting has hurt relationships. It's way too impersonal. I've gone out with men around 40 years and older and all they do is text. It's kind of a cowardly tool. Good for those who are emotionally unavailable or afraid to say things to your face. One guy I met back when OLDing absolutely refused to call. I started to suspect he had a weird voice. Surely enough he did. Then the famous good morning texts. One guy stopped communication because I guess I took too long to say gm back. Screw the fact that I was busy at work. It starts feeling like you're dating your phone. It's probably the reason why so many people just disappear from relationships because that intimacy is not there. It's like getting to know an article that answers your question, not a human being. Going forward I will use it much less in romantic relationships and if he can't do that then we are not compatible. It's been a huge sign for me when a grown man will ONLY text. They've always turned out to be no good. Plenty of wives get cheated on for years thanks to texting also. I'm going old school with dating and building a relationship with someone I like in the future. I will make it clear that I don't want to use it for all communication.
soccerrprp Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Anything used to extremes is bad. Again, texting has its uses, conveniences.
somedude81 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 What are some of peoples ideas about texting? There was this one guy who asked me to his girlfriend through a text. Very off putting, as he'd only had been texting me a day and a half, and he'd only knew me a day and a half. I didn't go for this guy but, I'm confused, have people forgotten a simple phone call? Texting feels like a veil. What are peoples views about it? Would you have agreed to be his girlfriend if he had called you instead?
MissBee Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) What are some of peoples ideas about texting? There was this one guy who asked me to his girlfriend through a text. Very off putting, as he'd only had been texting me a day and a half, and he'd only knew me a day and a half. I didn't go for this guy but, I'm confused, have people forgotten a simple phone call? Texting feels like a veil. What are peoples views about it? Hate it in the beginning stages of dating. A text here and there is fine but if I'm just getting to know you, call me! It is so easy to miscommunicate via text and it seems half of dating now is sitting around analyzing cryptic texts (see the hundreds of LS posts). Likewise sitting around waiting on a reply and wondering about it and since text seems the most unreliable form of communication sometimes, people can sit around wondering if a text went through if the person doesn't respond or worry if they take long and all this. Text is convenient and one can do it while multitasking so for me it's a lazy way of communicating as a primary source. A man could be texting you and 5 other women at the same time all while sitting on the couch with his wife. A call requires a lot more undivided attention and I take a man more seriously and his interest in me more seriously when he sets that time aside versus shooting of a text. It also seems like these days guys just go down their contact list and just idly initiate text conversation fishing and hope someone bites...whereas they are less likely to actively call a list of women so for me, in this day and age I associate texting with hooking up and laziness where you can be multitasking or texting a dozen women and hoping one bites versus investing time into getting to know one person by calling them. No man who ever became a serious bf for me got there through text and believe me, I grew up in the age of cell phones and texting, I'm in my 20s, so it isn't like I'm 50 and talking about "the old days." I simply find it a turn off and like the old fashioned calling me up, having a genuine conversation, hearing your voice, your tone, etc and you asking me out on the phone and we make plans then and there and not waiting around on a series of texts to coordinate planning. Asking me to be your gf over text???? Yeah right! If we're not in middle school...no! What next, proposals via text? Then again, I'm sure it's happened. My current bf and I met online and I gave him my number the same day after we spoke back and forth via the message center on the site. On my profile I made sure to state that I'm old fashioned when it comes on to getting to know a man and I'm not into incessant texts. I put it out there and if I gave a man my number and instead of calling he still insisted on sending me text after text, I lost interest. My bf texted me the day after he received my number and I was like......in my mind I gave him a 3 day grace period lol...if after day 3 of having my number you STILL don't call...forget it! On day two he picked up the phone without me having to say it and asked me out on a date via phone . Now that we're in a relationship I don't mind texting, as we know each other well enough now and I can read his messages with less ambiguity and we see each other so texts just supplement face to face and any important conversations etc are planned face to face and text serve as a supplement. In short: yes, the culture of incessant texting doesn't aid in dating IMO and the idea that everyone does it and you just need to get with it is false. You get with what you want to get with and like I hate texting, my bf actually expressed he doesn't like it primarily either, so it is possible to express that preference and have people who feel the same. Edited May 21, 2014 by MissBee 1
ambermoeba Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 I'm a university student so haven't really known a time when texting wasn't the main method of communicating within dates. While I agree it is convenient there is nothing romantic about a text and I would really much rather see someone in real life. Calling however I hate, if it's someone you don't know very well I think it can be very awkward!
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