Author Hello201 Posted May 25, 2014 Author Posted May 25, 2014 So been at my friends now for a couple of days, day 6 nc so today is the day we were have together and she cancelled her sister and new baby are going to see her, I really want her to contact me , i miss her so much , my friends just that she gave up the path of least resistance (loads of issues loads she said ) Or she just fell out of love with me but my friends don't think that's the case I hope that her sister can actually talk to her in person today and get to the bottom of it ??? For now I'm in love with someone who loved me but not any more as it stands today , sorry but me writing on here helps until I press submit
Author Hello201 Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 I just got this day 7 of my NC I probably should not message coz it hurts you and I already hurt you also I did not intend to I just wanted to say I hope you ok I knew she would message today Come on guys how many days before I reply?
Elle1975 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 I just got this day 7 of my NC I probably should not message coz it hurts you and I already hurt you also I did not intend to I just wanted to say I hope you ok I knew she would message today Come on guys how many days before I reply? You don't.. Breadcrumbs don't get answered, that's the idea behind NC. 1
Scorpio Chick Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 She admitted she hurt you, and admits she shouldn't be texting you. So she's still hurting you! Don't respond. A text is worthless, it's zero effort. It's cowardly. If you feel like you're going to respond at some point, at least hold out for a crouton. This IS just a breadcrumb. 2
Weallwalkthelongroad Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 I wouldn't respond at all. I got something similar a few weeks ago and let's just say things didn't go well. It was just a way for her to relieve her own guilt. Once she got the idea that I was ok, it was more of the same BS. Already back on NC. 1
Author Hello201 Posted May 26, 2014 Author Posted May 26, 2014 (edited) I don't even know why I wrote how many days before i reply. there will be no reply Keep them coming thanks Edited May 26, 2014 by Hello201
bubbaganoosh Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I would respond by telling her this. "Do you know what NC is? It means just that and that's what I want. Kapeesh?"
Ordinaryday Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I probably should not message coz it hurts you and I already hurt you also I did not intend to I just wanted to say I hope you ok Translation: I feel guilty about hurting you and even though I am sticking by my decision and don't want you back I want you to ease my conscience by sending me a text message letting me know you are okay so I will be able to sleep better at night and not give you another thought while I go and hook up with the guy I left you for. needless to say DON'T RESPOND.
KaliLove Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I would respond by telling her this. "Do you know what NC is? It means just that and that's what I want. Kapeesh?" I wouldn't..responding would be breaking NC, thus negating the message altogether, and it would also be an obvious ploy to start a conversation. But if I did ever say that to anyone, I'd spell capiche right..just saying... OP, there's nothing to respond to. She said she hopes you're ok. Ok..great. She hopes you're ok. She's not actually asking if you're ok (not that you should respond if she does..but you know what I mean). 1
Ordinaryday Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 She said she hopes you're ok. Ok..great. She hopes you're ok. She's not actually asking if you're ok I got a "hope you are well" breadcrumb from my dumper and it annoyed the hell out of me, cos all I could think was "well you obviously DON'T HOPE THAT MUCH cos if you were truly concerned about my 'wellbeing' you wouldnt have dumped me"
Chi townD Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 "I hope you are OK." Is a breadcrumb for you to ease their guilt. She knows she hurt you and now she's looking for YOU to make her feel better. Like, "Hey! Nah, I'm good. No hard feelings!" Well, you don't owe her that. She made the choice to have you out of her life; therefore, she gave up the right to know if you're ok. 2
Author Hello201 Posted May 27, 2014 Author Posted May 27, 2014 And I haven't replied , I feel good about that , I hope this is true this from a female work friend who doesn't know her It will be interesting to see how she reacts to your silence, I suspect it will frustrate her enormously And my best friend (my other ex best friend sent the breadcrumb) don't reply to this you will get hurt she has to realise you are not there for her now her choice so let her come to terms with her life without the best person she ever had in it
Author Hello201 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 this morning i got this hi XXXXX hope you are ok i have been asked to come to XXXXXXX (my place of work) on the xth of juen . i just wondered if you would like to have a telephone conversation beforehand i understand if not. could you please let me know if i should bring back your things with me, is no rish just thought you might like them back . i wont come to the XXXXXX (my dept) as i do not want to cause more hurt so when ever your ready just let me know and we can have a friendly conversation maybe i was not going to reply today , i asked a mututal friend if they would be willing to take her stuff and get mine in return they said yes ( but then they emailed her saying this ) this forced my hand so i sent my reply today hi XXXX thanks for the email , ive spoken to XXXXXXXX about leaving yr things in exchange for mine when you come XXXXXX her reply hi XXXXX ok thanks XXXXXXX x she then rung the person who is the middle man crying saying "he hates me he really hates me" no i dont , i didnt break it off id have her back tomorrow if all this could be sorted out she is in a mess and the best friend in me is hurting and i would never ever not have a friendly conversation with her i love her
Chi townD Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 "HE HATES ME!!!" DING, DING!!!!! One thing you have to understand is that MOST girls hate the fact that there might be someone on this planet that "hates" them or doesn't think that they are a nice person. Drives them bat sh*t crazy. When you went NC you gave her nothing! She dumped you; she admitted that she knows she hurt you. By you staying in NC she has no idea where your head is at. She has no idea if you do actually hate her. Or, if you're fine with the break up, or angry as hell, or even indifferent to the whole thing. Therefore, you now know that those breadcrumbs weren't a subtle hint to get you talking to possibly start working things out again. Those were sent out to you to see where your head is at. To see if you actually hate her. By sending her the text stating the item exchange will be handle by a third person, she automatically assumes you hate her (which is what she was trying to figure out from the get go.). If I were you, I would meet up with this third person that is going to handle the exchange and say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry to be putting you in the middle of all of this, and I appreciate you doing this. But, it's not because I hate her. It's because I can't have any contact with her. I can't be friends with her while I still harbor these romantic feelings for her. That wouldn't be fair to me or to her. She made the decision to have me out of her life. Therefore, I'm going to respect that request even if I don't agree with it. But, I can't have contact with her and risk myself getting filled up with false hope of getting back together with her. It would hurt too much. Therefore, I have to have no contact with her so I can heal from this and move on with my life without her. I hope you understand where I'm coming from and thanks again for doing this." Chances are, this third party is going to understand this, and he/she is going to go to the exchange and he/she is going to convey EXACTLY what you said to her. So, there you go! She gets her stuff back you get yours back and now she has a better understand on why you won't respond. Killed two birds with one stone. 1
Author Hello201 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Posted May 29, 2014 thats already been done my friend even before i read you fantastic reply thanks
Author Hello201 Posted May 31, 2014 Author Posted May 31, 2014 so I rung her she rang back How you doing etc etc all ok was going well What you doing says I Just out at a thing Then I heard a male voice talking to her son , it's a friend I know him , but still made me feel horrible I said have a nice time with @@@@ good to have friebdsy she sighed , I know she spoke to him bout our break up , I know he has feelings for her said our good byes I had to get off , I know she didn't like the way I said it cos she sighed , one of her boys said Is that @@@@@@ can I talk to him She said next time So ppl don't break NC PLEASE You won't feel better after I rung a friend he said well you did it so don't read too much into it , she just needed her space , and don't read anything into it you should move on she did love you but not enough to carry on right now and you guys may get back , but for now leave her be. 13 days NC in I was So please think before breaking NC and post here first
Elle1975 Posted May 31, 2014 Posted May 31, 2014 I probably would have avoided the passive aggressive comment. It didn't play in your favor. 1
Author Hello201 Posted May 31, 2014 Author Posted May 31, 2014 Yeah I know Not my best moment to be fair , but its done now so start again and go NC I can't let it get to me She can either accept it or get upset bout it , can't do anything it now , she broke it off breadcrumbed me twice one about returning our stuff she said "no rush" so why say it That's why NC is good I hadn't been on here for a day so I weakened won't happen again
Elle1975 Posted June 1, 2014 Posted June 1, 2014 Yeah I know Not my best moment to be fair , but its done now so start again and go NC I can't let it get to me She can either accept it or get upset bout it , can't do anything it now , she broke it off breadcrumbed me twice one about returning our stuff she said "no rush" so why say it That's why NC is good I hadn't been on here for a day so I weakened won't happen again Either get your stuff back now, and return hers, or consider it lost. A No Contact isn't so as long as some kind of unbilical cord ties you up to her (your stuff).
Author Hello201 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 well lets say i found out that while messaging me saying its all gonna be ok the 13th of may and she loves me etc etc she messaged him on the same day saying she wished she knew she loved him before and now she has to deal with issues hurt etc other messages as well between the two remember she said she wanted to be alone the 3rd june im lying here in bed thing about you how much i love you etc etc etc i havent confronted her yet , i suspect they are gonna keep it on the QT and then in a few months come out with it , and friends and ppl we know will say well its been long enough it was time to move on i will ring her today and tell her i know everything and then hang up , and then tell everybody we know so they know what she is really like then closure thank you all for your advice and im hope this nevers happens to any one on here ever again bye
Chi townD Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Damn, I knew my spidey senses were going off for a reason. How do you know about the messages between them?
Author Hello201 Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 I can't say but trust me I saw them and what she said to him One example she told me she was going shopping for birthday party and would be home late He went round The others are her telling him how much she loves him etc etc I don't care what he had to say to her I was in a RS with her , she lied to me , I rang her and said I know everything I know the real reason you broke up with me , you lied , you decieved and showed me no respect And I hung up It's now four hours later all I was a messaged which said ????????? I know what I saw and I saw her telling him she loves him and she's thinking about the rest of thier lives together Funny cos she said that to me
Chi townD Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Okay, so you need to let it go. She now knows that you know. She's playing stupid. Sooner or later, she's going to want to know EXACTLY what you know and do damage control. Don't let her. Ignore it all.
Author Hello201 Posted July 4, 2014 Author Posted July 4, 2014 here we go two saturdays i get a new phone so have to block her again download a different app she tries to ring me 6 times over that weekend and on the monday she came to me work " to have it out" get this she said " we're not together we're waiting" like thats any different she looked rough no make up tired i felt nothing romantically towards her she said i want us to be friends and one thing that i thought that she is mixed up she still talks to me in here head we talk about our day laugh joke all the things we used to do :eek::eek: i said we will never be friends i will never contact you if i sae you in the workplace ( she has to come in now and again) all you will get from me is hello not even your name she went on about how she has ptsd from her past and shes so confused !! so that was done she left the following thursday i get a block notice from her the message said thank you for talking to me i hope it gave you closure ( i had that when she had all her stuff back and i wrote the letter exposing her) please do talk to me if you feel that you get to the stage where you are not sure again whats going on ( i know whats going on read the thread ) i rather we talk than you trying to worry alone ( im not worried) hope it was right to send this message ( it wasnt thats why you said that ) take care ***** i never replied yesterday another txt i wish we could be friends shame shes in pain got over it it had to my friends are important to me being a liar and a cheat does not constitute a friend in my book
Recommended Posts