Hello201 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) Hi all firstly i bet this is not the first time that titles been used every thing had been going great ? weve know each other for 2 years flirted etc hung out the ususal stuff formed a very strong bond always there and became best friends we kissed the first time and we both knew , she wasnt with anyone her ex went maybe 5 months before he was horrible etc etc, and neither was i so we got together amazing everything id nver had and the same for her ? well thats what she said , met the kids took to each other straight away , everyweekend togerther going on dates sometimes in the week just what youd expect , had a weekend away her mum took care of the kids simply beautiful , dont get me wrong we had a few disagreements over stuff who doesnt ? then last tuesday she messaged me saying she was having i dont know issues , and she wanted a break to sort stuff out , i said look we are gonna get thru this , and later on she said shes feeling better , wednesday not so good she asked is we could message i said yes of course , nothing back i rung her thursday and she said she wanted a break i said im here for you do what you need to do and i left her alone , we had a thing booked for this weekend ages now she said what do we do i said lets wait and see but of course i wanna do its up to you on friday i got an email saying its cancelled sorry but she didint know what to do and her sisters coming , she then messaged me asking if im ok , i said ok thanks and thanks for the email ( by doing this is thought i was still giving her space and not going on at her) nothing for two days then she rung me to tell me its over , We spoke i was civil I was angry but not rude or aggressive I didn’t understand some of it but basically , she said she doesn’t love me like that shewas making herself love me ( even thou she said it thousand of times) she was in tears , she had spoken to her eldest who said I just wantyou to be happy mum [o she didn’t love me? and I didn’t make her happy? but shesaid i did so many times , she said rather now than if she kept it up for twoor three years loads of other stuff that I cant even remember now I rung her back cos I could tell it was killing her to tellher how proud of her I am that she had the courage to do this and that I loveher miss her and love the boys as well esp the eldest who I thought wewere getting a real bond I rang her sister and told her and she may want to ringher as she normally does and not to mention she spoke to me , she was shockedand stunned she said everytime they spoke her was so happy and so much inlove with me and could not stop telling her how happy and so much in love she was with me and not to tell her i called Like I said I had to tell her that I was proud of her ,first lie ive ever told her , I cant understand how she has done this to us ,she could have she wasnt ready and I would have waited she tried to say I was toblame as id pressured her into it at the start , but she said she was ready I think that’s whats she meant but its allhazy , I don’t want contact with her ever Im sure she will message as thefriend she can stick it I just wont reply she said she will wait till im readyto be friends ,is that meant to make me feel better or her If I cant have whatI want im not helping her achieve what she wants I don’t know if theres anything else to this from her side outside infulences ?, its been ninedays since weve seen each other never been that long apart and that’s it Ispose , Edited May 21, 2014 by Hello201
johnpatric Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 There are some code in your post to it complicated so I can't get you what you exactly want to say.
David87 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 It's possible that she likes someone else....and there's no such thing as a break from the relationship ...... she want's space then give her space and try not to be a doormat. Who knows what made her feel this way towards you. Sorry bud. 2
Brauhm Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Hey man, something similar happened with my ex and I, she asked for a break to just sort things out and so on... After talking to her and saying dont worry we'll sort things out we can get through this and so.. she agreed to give it a chance within less than two weeks she just broke up with me and said lets just be friends... I still am hurt about her and all and still have no idea why. Thing I learned from that was she would of been contemplating the break up for a while, like David had said. There is no breaks in a relationship. Unfortunately I guess most guys go thru this.. it is unfair but we just can't do anything about it. :/ sorry man 1
Author Hello201 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 ive taken all the photos off my phone of her and stuff we did together , i have kept her number on there so i know if shes rung but have removed her picture so if she does i dont see her , i dont feel better and some might say its petty but i dont have the temptation to look when in feeling like i do today she used to do fbook but not for a while but i spose she could reactivate her acct so i limited who can see me to friends only doesnt make me feel any better but i have done it now
Author Hello201 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 Message from her sister Hey xxxxxxxxx. Just to let you know She's fine. Really upset that she hurt you but it's really what she wants. I'm sorry to tell you she does love you as a friend but she needs to be alone she said. x So how can I move on?
lauri Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Message from her sister Hey xxxxxxxxx. Just to let you know She's fine. Really upset that she hurt you but it's really what she wants. I'm sorry to tell you she does love you as a friend but she needs to be alone she said. x So how can I move on? There is your answer. Leave her alone and don't contact her again. She made up her mind and wants to be single...that is her choice. Now you need to cut her out and make her realize what she lost - by sticking around you will only ruin your chances of regaining your strength and maybe even potentially being with her again. You move on by accepting its over now...it will be tough but you need to do it. 3
Chi townD Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 My spidey senses are going off. She says that she wants a break. Okay. But, you had a weekend trip planned. At the last minute, she cancels with you but says she's going to take a "sister". As SOON as she gets back, she calls and breaks it off with you completely. She says that she loves you but she feels like she has to force herself to love you. (which is the same as the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" speech, which is classic for a cheater to say). I have a feeling it wasn't a "sister" that she took away with her that weekend. I think you're getting played, dude. 1
Author Hello201 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 Hi chi The weekend is this coming weekend and when I spoke to her sister she didnt know about the weekend being cancelled , she knew nothing bout it she thought she was coming up and I'd be there , Right now there is no man in her life , and as far as I'm concerned I'm not either ,she has lost in me her best friend and she will see that sooner or later
Natsume21 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Hi all firstly i bet this is not the first time that titles been used every thing had been going great ? weve know each other for 2 years flirted etc hung out the ususal stuff formed a very strong bond always there and became best friends we kissed the first time and we both knew , she wasnt with anyone her ex went maybe 5 months before he was horrible etc etc, and neither was i so we got together amazing everything id nver had and the same for her ? well thats what she said , met the kids took to each other straight away , everyweekend togerther going on dates sometimes in the week just what youd expect , had a weekend away her mum took care of the kids simply beautiful , dont get me wrong we had a few disagreements over stuff who doesnt ? then last tuesday she messaged me saying she was having i dont know issues , and she wanted a break to sort stuff out , i said look we are gonna get thru this , and later on she said shes feeling better , wednesday not so good she asked is we could message i said yes of course , nothing back i rung her thursday and she said she wanted a break i said im here for you do what you need to do and i left her alone , we had a thing booked for this weekend ages now she said what do we do i said lets wait and see but of course i wanna do its up to you on friday i got an email saying its cancelled sorry but she didint know what to do and her sisters coming , she then messaged me asking if im ok , i said ok thanks and thanks for the email ( by doing this is thought i was still giving her space and not going on at her) nothing for two days then she rung me to tell me its over , We spoke i was civil I was angry but not rude or aggressive I didn’t understand some of it but basically , she said she doesn’t love me like that shewas making herself love me ( even thou she said it thousand of times) she was in tears , she had spoken to her eldest who said I just wantyou to be happy mum [o she didn’t love me? and I didn’t make her happy? but shesaid i did so many times , she said rather now than if she kept it up for twoor three years loads of other stuff that I cant even remember now I rung her back cos I could tell it was killing her to tellher how proud of her I am that she had the courage to do this and that I loveher miss her and love the boys as well esp the eldest who I thought wewere getting a real bond I rang her sister and told her and she may want to ringher as she normally does and not to mention she spoke to me , she was shockedand stunned she said everytime they spoke her was so happy and so much inlove with me and could not stop telling her how happy and so much in love she was with me and not to tell her i called Like I said I had to tell her that I was proud of her ,first lie ive ever told her , I cant understand how she has done this to us ,she could have she wasnt ready and I would have waited she tried to say I was toblame as id pressured her into it at the start , but she said she was ready I think that’s whats she meant but its allhazy , I don’t want contact with her ever Im sure she will message as thefriend she can stick it I just wont reply she said she will wait till im readyto be friends ,is that meant to make me feel better or her If I cant have whatI want im not helping her achieve what she wants I don’t know if theres anything else to this from her side outside infulences ?, its been ninedays since weve seen each other never been that long apart and that’s it Ispose , To sum it up. 1. You had a tripped planned 2. She went away with her sister(btw, I wanna say, what loyal "girlfriend" would dare cancel a trip with you to go with her family. Not only does it not make sense, it's absolutely disrespectful 3. Comes back after trip with sister and cuts it off. 4. Says she's being forced to love you(but being there for her "sister" is just fine. 2 plus 2 doesn't equal fish here dude. She's playing you like a Nintendo. She dumped you for someone else.
Author Hello201 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) No the weekend is this weekend not last weekend , she cancelled it last Friday , Her sister knew nothing bout it I rung her after my ex dumped me and she knew nothing about it , she thought we were all gonna hang out like before .and yes her family came first but I was ok with that I knew they were close before ,her sister is a decent person and would not go along with anything like that Edited May 21, 2014 by Hello201
Natsume21 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 No the weekend is this weekend not last weekend , she cancelled it last Friday , Her sister knew nothing bout it I rung her after my ex dumped me and she knew nothing about it , she thought we were all gonna hang out like before .and yes her family came first but I was ok with that I knew they were close before ,her sister is a decent person and would not go along with anything like that Dude, the sister wasn't involved in this at all. You got left for someone else!
Author Hello201 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 I don't think I did , she just fell out of love with me , she wasn't ready tried and failed , so her loss cos she has lost her best friend and her lover in one hit Pure n simple 1
lauri Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 No the weekend is this weekend not last weekend , she cancelled it last Friday , Her sister knew nothing bout it I rung her after my ex dumped me and she knew nothing about it , she thought we were all gonna hang out like before .and yes her family came first but I was ok with that I knew they were close before ,her sister is a decent person and would not go along with anything like that You're in the denial stage right now. I know it is hard for you to accept...but you need to realize this is how is probably went down. She left you for someone else or was planning to end it with you for a significantly long time. My advice to you is disappear. It'll help you regain control of the entire situation. and regain your dignity. There is nothing left for you anymore with this girl. You need to move on. 1
Jord11 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) Same thing happened too me, she said she didn't love me like that anymore, and she broke up with me, you know what she had a bf shortly after, they don't tell you everything they are sneaky, she let me down easy like she did too you, believe me they won't straight up tell you they found someone else but that is mostly the case, like my ex sounds just like your ex to a t! And you know what my ex had a new bf shortly after. Sneaky is all I have to say Don't contact her nothing it's a waste of time, I haven't talked to my ex in over a year and a half after she did that too me, leave it be find something better that's what I'm doing, they aren't worth it man, believe me Edited May 21, 2014 by Jord11 1
Chi townD Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Hi chi The weekend is this coming weekend and when I spoke to her sister she didnt know about the weekend being cancelled , she knew nothing bout it she thought she was coming up and I'd be there , Right now there is no man in her life , and as far as I'm concerned I'm not either ,she has lost in me her best friend and she will see that sooner or later And yet, your Ex told you that she's taking her sister; but, she knows nothing about it. Dude, you're getting played. If she's not taking you and apparently, not her sister, then she's taking someone.
Author Hello201 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 No she cancelled it and her sister is visiting on that day , her sister knew nothing bout the trip It's not my issue anymore She doesnt want me any more I don't want her now She lost me , her boyfriend , best friend and lover Will I cope , not straight away but I will Sometimes you just fall in love with the wrong person
giblesp Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 When they ask for a break, its usually over. Thats the point where its time for you to make an exit. Heal your wounds, count your losses and prepare for the next woman. You were in love, and for a while it was good. It didn't last sometimes these things don't. Get through this painful part, it will work out for the best. 1
7yearsbroken Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 I don't think I did , she just fell out of love with me , she wasn't ready tried and failed , so her loss cos she has lost her best friend and her lover in one hit Pure n simple Yup you are right. I would go no contact, sounds like you are in the initial anger stage. Use this anger to better yourself and meet better people who won't treat you like this. I was cheated on too, you are not alone. Her loss, exactly. You can't make someone love you, either they do, or just wasting your time. Stay reading on old and new posts here, don't call her back or look at her social media, as tempting as it is. Go on YouTube and watch breakup videos. It'll help you not lose your dignity by going back. Good luck, can't tell you things will get better or worse, just can tell you she wasn't right for you when she cheated. Peace and love man. 1
Author Hello201 Posted May 22, 2014 Author Posted May 22, 2014 thanks to everyone who read and replied this is the third day of NC this morning on my part this morning i got this good morning sorry i missed your call ( i did not ring i didnt ring i did not ring) hope you ok x i have not replied , but god its hard feels like ive gone backwards and its not my fault
jbelle6 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 I think she has someone else the same as I think my ex found someone else. Her sister isn't going to tell you that. Think of your self respect and go NC. You'll feel so much better in the end.
lauri Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 thanks to everyone who read and replied this is the third day of NC this morning on my part this morning i got this good morning sorry i missed your call ( i did not ring i didnt ring i did not ring) hope you ok x i have not replied , but god its hard feels like ive gone backwards and its not my fault Do you actually believe she is sorry? Because I dont. You're actually moving forward and should be proud of yourself. Let her be with the new guy - it'll crash and burn and she will eventually come running back to you. Then bc you maintained NC you will realize you are worth lot more and you will be with someone who will never hurt you or lead you on. She doesn't deserve to hear from you again.
lolablue17 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 I'm not saying she left you for someone else, but there is one on the background. Maybe she cheated, maybe she wants him, maybe she is confused. Most chances she is keeping you close until she decides what to do with the other guy.
Author Hello201 Posted May 23, 2014 Author Posted May 23, 2014 morning all day 4 NC yesterday was rough im not gonna deny it yesterday morning i emailed a mutural friend to tell her what had happenned (ive known this person longer but ex has work dealing with her or used to in her old job) and to say that i would still like to hang out on the date we had agreed when we were a couple but could understand if that was difficult for her her reply made me cry it was (ive cut it down cos it was huge) im so sorry , come to my house this weekend i dont want you to be alone , ive told my husband and he agreed (so a bit of male bonding) you know my kids love you anyway (kids love me i its true) i will pick you up come over hang out do what you want , talk cry, cut down trees if you want to be alone fine i rung her as soon as i read it and even now ive started crying again i feel so humble that her family would do this for me , when i spoke to her she was so sad for me but so happy that id agreed we laughed about doing stuff so ppl we will have bad days we will have really bad days but when you think it will only get worse , you are rewarded with an act of human kindness
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