soccerrprp Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I never lie. I always mean it when I say it and I have several male friends who I've said this to. They are usually great guys who I am just not interested in dating, so I tell them that, we move on and continue the relationship on a platonic level, like I said I've had no issues. It's not complicated. Both of my closest male friends (10+ years) have heard this from me at some point. Didn't seem to phase them and it just never got brought up again. I guess I don't see the problem. In the original post, this guy is already her friend and she specifically said she doesn't want to torpedo the friendship, so….seems like a good solution to me. These are men that you've had sex with? Are these men that are worth being friends with? Were any of them cheaters or liars? Types of people that you would be happy to be friends with? Are these men that you no longer have feelings for? And they have no sexual/physical desire for you? Do you tell each bf you have that you have these exes as friends? Is he okay with that? I had some exes as "friends" too when dating. But, there comes a point when, if you're really honest, and when and if you're dating someone else, that such friends (exes, especially those with whom you've had sex or were a-holes) need to be cast away. It's simply disrespectful and asking for complications to have them around. Believe me. I have a close friend who tried to convince herself that her ex was a friend as she was trying to move on. There was no way that a reasonable person would have considered this guy friend material, but she tried. He was and is a danger to her and her kids, unstable, a bully, a user and manipulator and so on...imagine, she tried to convince herself and me and perhaps others that he was still "just" a friend. The notion is and was INSANE. I'm certain you are not talking about such exes.
Stillits Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I just had a similar experience, except I was forced to spend 1 week in his presence (was a group holiday thing - so just blocking him was not an option). I told him I'm not interested and told him no at any request he made at taking up my time.. but he didn't really seem to BELIEVE I meant no. Actually, I started wondering if this comes down to the game playing some people engage in. Where a girl will "play hard to get" and say no, which is just a sign for the guy to keep pursuing? I see that with my friends. But well, if I say no I mean NO. I would never consider someone who can't respect my very basic wishes. Anyway, I had to get rude with this guy because obviously being polite did not work. I told him there is no way in hell I will ever do ANYTHING with him, so mind his own business. Then ignored him for the rest of the time. Sigh.. Good luck! 1
Author ThatGirl213 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 Telling someone they miss you if you're not dating is a little creepy. In fact the whole situation seems creepy. Are you creeped out by this guy? Yes because he keeps saying he has been in love with me since he met me in 2011. He added me on fb late last yr. That's the first time we spoke in private. First thing he asked me was if I am still with my ex. We aren't really even friends. Just acquaintances. He is always sending me copied poems from the internet and I miss you messages. I don't know if its because I am saying no, he thinks he should try harder.
Author ThatGirl213 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 Saying you're not interested is different than "I don't want to date you" because "interests" can change. Not wanting to date someone is usually a pretty standard "No." That's how I see it anyway. If you want them to leave you alone, then you tell them to back off because you don't want to date them/don't want to go out/etc. If you want to just be friends and nothing more, then say so. Say you just want to be friends and have no intention of going out with them. You have to be specifically clear about your feelings sometimes. Otherwise some people won't get the hint and back off. If they start to insult you because you just want to be friends/say no, do you really want to be around them? This makes sense. I would never want to be friends with someone I have no interest in after they ask me out because they will only be hoping for something to happen later down the line.
Author ThatGirl213 Posted May 21, 2014 Author Posted May 21, 2014 Are the poems any good? They were all copied.
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