Rig88 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Ill try and keep this as neat as possible! Basically , the girl that I was with for three years (my first real adult relationship) and the love of my life to date has given me an olive branch back into her life. When we were together I was too young and immature to appreciate what we had. She's the only girl that's ever understood me and even though I've dated people in the 18 months we've been apart there's just been an emptiness that nobody else can fill. I was really immature during the time we were together , she gave me plenty of chances but I always managed to mess it up one way or another. She ended things with me and we went our separate ways. She lives just 2 streets away from me so we'd bump into each other from time to time and have pleasant conversation. A few weeks ago I began to think about her a lot , I sent her a Facebook message whilst drunk asking her to meet up with me. I met her for a drink on Saturday night and it was amazing. It went so well , we stayed out until 2 am just talking and remembering old times. I've asked her to meet up again this weekend , I want to take her somewhere really nice and try and get things back on track. I've made a list of everything I feel I did wrong during the time we were together , she admits that there were faults on her side too but I'll willingly admit that it was mostly me. How can I show her that I've learned from my mistakes and that I'm serious about making things work this time?
todreaminblue Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 By being and having an honest, open,understanding,accepting and sincere heart .....that is all you need.......then it just takes effort to stand by what you say you want and follow that honest heart......best wishes....deb........
Zahara Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 You show her by your actions, day by day as you go along, you show her all the things you want to do to create a healthy and positive relationship for the two of you. A list doesn't just change everything -- you also have to find coping skills to manage those list of issues. Sometimes old habits and patterns are hard to break so it's going to require effort to make that conscious change. 1
PhillyConnection23 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 You show her by your actions, day by day as you go along, you show her all the things you want to do to create a healthy and positive relationship for the two of you. A list doesn't just change everything -- you also have to find coping skills to manage those list of issues. Sometimes old habits and patterns are hard to break so it's going to require effort to make that conscious change. This. If you come out of left field saying I've change XYZ and want you back, I really don't think it will work. Go slow. Take your time and show her you are a different but better person. 1
Rig88 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 I feel that I've matured a lot since the first time we were together. I'm really grateful that she's given me this opportunity to try and make amends. I wouldn't be so determined if I genuinely didn't feel that she was the one for me. I'm taking each day as it comes.
hudson701 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 You lucky boy. Enjoy! (From the oter side of London!)
loveiswar101 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Yep, lucky duck. Take it slow be yourself and if you have changed she will notice. Good luck !
Rig88 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 So my ex girlfriend , the love of my life to date is back on the scene and I'm beyond delighted. Tomorrow evening is our second date after 18 months apart. I'm feeling really guilty about how badly I treated her whilst we were together. Although I've been feeling really excited and love sick all week , I've felt nervous and keep imaging ways it can all go wrong again. I've dated two girls since we've been apart , one for just a few weeks and another just a little over 6 months. Neither of them worked out. I don't want her to feel like I'm 'crawling back' I dated other people because she ended things with me and I know the reason they ended was because I lived my life in a fantasy that we'd one day reconcile. Everyone keeps putting this fear into me that it 'will never be as good the second time around' and 'it'll never work' etc but after our time apart I feel like I've really matured and I feel ready now to give it my all. Can it even be better the second time around?
FredJones80 Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Who cares what anyone thinks? no one knows you or your ex or the dynamic of your r/s. Give it your best, at least you had chance and tried. Think positive Good luck! 1
Jiivy Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 Actually, the contrary to your fears should logically be true. If you've become a better persona nd truly felt that you've repaired problems XYZ that 'caused' the BU in the first place - surely you will now have a far more mature relationship? I understand that there's a looming sense of pain, and franky neither of you will ever forget the 18 months you spent apart as much as you'll never forget the time you had together. But there are MANY lasting relationships that have been bourne out of successful reconciliation (and many that haven't)...I guess ultimately Fred has it nail on the head. It's got nothing to do with what we think - what we think doesn't even matter. It's what you think. Come back to us and let us know how it goes. 1
Scorpio Chick Posted May 24, 2014 Posted May 24, 2014 I feel that I've matured a lot since the first time we were together. I'm really grateful that she's given me this opportunity to try and make amends. I wouldn't be so determined if I genuinely didn't feel that she was the one for me. I'm taking each day as it comes. I think the part I bolded speaks volumes about what type of person you are and I think half of what's needed to make anything work is the will to make it work. I smiled when I read what you wrote about your gratitude towards her. I hope you get what you want!
halfcrazed_i Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 Many of us are rooting for you and your girl Please keep us updated. God only knows how much we all need to hear about happy endings over here...
flight E Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Improve on your errors but don't become a pleaser. It's just not attractive
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